Not for nothing, somebody might wanna send a prayer up for Pastor Grant Storms’ soul ASAP.
Cause apparently, the prominent New Orleans based Christian leader, who is best known for using a bullhorn to protest an annual three-day gay parade as “depraved”and describes masturbation as an immoral act, was just caught jerking off in his van. At a public park. During the day. While kids were around.
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Talking about, the TWO witnesses were confused. He was just peeing in a bottle… That is, until whatever tiny sense of honesty he actually has kicked in. Then the hypocrite finally confessed to beating off.
Hmm, so I guess yesterday was the official ‘Get In That Ass’ TV Journalist holiday, huh?
First, Oprah went IN on poor Iyanla Vanzant for trying it on her time and going hard about getting her own show before Oprah felt ready to give it to her. And I mean, she got O-P-E-N.
Poor Iyanla was crying and begging for forgiveness before she could even take her seat properly. Um, can you say AKWARD? And then to make matters worse, once they started talking it really seemed like this THIRTEEN year beef was nothing more than a simple misunderstanding between two strong-willed women who were both waaaaaay too sensitive.
Poor Iyanla went looking for extra validation and reassurance from Oprah but unfortunately, she went about it the wrong way. And Oprah (who if you remember wasn’t as secure in her own success back in her KKK interviewing days), perceived Iyanla’s stepping to her, with lawyers and asking for more concrete assurance (cause they were already in loose negotiations) that she’s be given her own show- because “someone important” a.k.a. shady ass Barbara Walters, counter offered as ungrateful. So O and her right hand white girl (cause there’s always an assistant that’s more offended than the leader) were like, Word? Well, actually Iyanla you can go ‘head with that.
You know, kinda like when you tell the dude you KNOW wanna be with that you’re thinking about kicking it with the random next dude just to get a reaction… and instead of telling you not to or that he’ll be pissed if you do, he wishes you good luck?
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Right.
But when I tell you Mama O didn’t have NOTHING on Anderson Cooper’s interview/ public thrashing of dick head journalist Nir Rosen who tweeted “Lara Logan had to outdo Anderson,” about the CNN correspondent, who was reportedly sexually assaulted AND punched in the head multiple times while covering the recent celebrations in Egypt. And then homeboy ignorantly followed that comment up with, “Yes yes it’s wrong what happened to her. Of course. I don’t support that. But it would have been funny if it happened to Anderson too.”
BABY!!
Anderson lit homeboy’s arse and alibi on FIRE. Every time dude tried to explain and apologize, Anderson just went deeper and deeper and DEEPER. Shoot, I promise you, after it was over dude had a serious case of diarrhea.
Oh well. Cause Anderson Cooper might be a certified media whore but bump no one deserves to have a sexual assault or ass whooping made marginalized.
I’m really starting to think that folks should be required to pass some sort of mental stability exam before having access to social networking sites. ‘Cause this is officially doing the most right now. Killing your own flesh and blood because you snooped around and found exactly what you were looking for? Lord have mercy, this is some real life, white trash version of that scene from For Colored Girls… SMDH.
Epic. Parental. FAIL.
And not for nothing, I equally fault the child’s father for this senseless tragedy. Mmm-hmm… sure do. Because if you know that you’re dealing with a psycho chick- why would you put your personal business on freaking Facebook??
And DO NOT even try to tell us that you didn’t think she was capable of the crazy. Not for nothing, I took one look at that ‘extra calm, eyes-wide-open but nobody’s home’ mugshot and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt… this bish is a killer. Just. Like That.
Meanwhile, he done dates, procreated and been in a protracted custody battle with her looneytunes ass? nope. He should’ve known better.
As far as I’m concerned, he was practically begging for her to snap off and act up.
*makes a sign of the cross*
You know, instead of spending all that time and energy trying to run out the Mexicans, Governor Jan Brewer should focus on keeping the babies safe unstable moms.
Oh Heidi, Heidi, Heidi… I know it’s hard to stay relevant in television these days. Especially when you’re a visibly aging weather girl for the weekend evening news report show.
(SIDEBAR:. I so didn’t even know there was a evening news broadcasts on the weekends! Who’s watching the news on a damn Saturday??)
But sweetie, filing false rape reports is not the way to way to do that sunshine.
Personally, I believe you should serve every last day of that year long jail sentence. Perhaps that will give you some time to think about all the ACTUAL rape victims whose REAL cases weren’t being investigated while the police went on this wild goose of yours.
DEAD FISH EYES
Oh and good luck with that job suspension… Seems like a shitty economy to be playing the reindeer games with your livelihood. Sure hope your attention-seeking ass saved up for a rainy day.
It’s amazing how fast time flies! Not only is it already the first of November- let the official birthday countdown begin- but it’s already time for midterm elections. READ: Obama is already halfway through his presidency. WHEW!!
Now, I know that I don’t have to remind/ encourage any of you guys to go out and vote tomorrow. But in case you needed a specific reason to stay involved in politics and be mindful of how your tax dollars are being WASTED, here ya go:
No seriously. King’s County Supreme Court Justice Paul Wooten ruled that a first grader can be sued.
I. Will. Not.
While I can certainly understand that the family of the victim, 87- year old Claire Menagh are probably sad and still grieving (apparently Claire’s fall required surgery for a fractured hip and she subsequently died three months later), but COME ON.
The lady was 86 years-old. She lived a long and hopefully happy life. Accidents with kids happen all the time. Are you REALLY so litigious that you’re going to waste taxpayers dollars on suing a little girl who wasn’t even in kindergarten at the time?? And this fool as judge is going to give you a forum for this nonsense?
Love LA to death but there’s nothing like waking up in my own bed and NOT having to sit in traffic for an hour and a half just for a simple 45 minute meeting. Okay?
Anyhoo, so I see I arrived back home just in time for the nonsense to pop off. Mmm-hmm… In what can only be described as a scene straight out of Law & Order (the original MYC-based joint NOT this LA spin-off nonsense), some group of fool ass jurors had the nerve and audacity to ACQUIT that sicko rape-text suspect from Queens.
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Now for those who are unfamiliar, this pint-size pervert climbed in through the unlocked kitchen window of a waitress that he’d apparently been stalking, grabbed a kitchen knife and repeatedly raped her in her bedroom while her family was asleep down the hall. THEN, after he was finished, he asked her for her cell number so that “maybe we could still be friends.”
*gags*
So basically, homegirl gives him her number (cause who’s telling the man that just repeated raped you and threatened to kill you and your entire family, anything but yes???) in hopes that he’d be stoopid enough to call and she could give his the number to the cops.
Well in what could only be described as a minor miracle, the genius calls WHILE the police are at the house investigating. And he even cops to the rape during his monitored conversation with the girl Talking about, “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Don’t get me in trouble.”
DEAD SILENCE
Yet and still, despite the recorded phone call admission & evidence from her rape kit, the irresponsible jury acquitted this psycho because “there were no signs of forced entry.”
Um, since when does a person have to force his way through an open window???
And now we’ve got Clarence Thomas’s ridiculous right-wing nut ass wife Ginny leaving belligerent messages on Anita Hill’s work phone. Talking about, “I would love you to consider an apology some time and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband.”
Are you serious???
First of all, who the hell told GINNY that she had the right to ask for an apology from ANYONE? Forreal, she ain’t nothing but a pompous, out-of-line, attention seeking 53- year old bish. I don’t know which of her fellow Teabagging homegirls put the battery in her back and that fool gassed up, but alla them hoes are dead wrong for this nonsense.
I mean, let’s keep it 1000. Ginny DOES NOT WANT IT with Ms. Anita. We all know her shady good-for-nothing, self-hating husband is guilty as the day is long. Okay? And even more importantly, this ain’t 1991. Ron and Nancy ain’t around to make folks testimonies disappear no more.
Ginny, you WILL get that lily white behind embarrassed if you keep up with the sheenanigans!
And not for nothing, it’s been a THOUSAND years. Why is she even thinking about, let alone harassing this woman? And on a damn SATURDAY afternoon? Um hello, shouldn’t you be spending time your husband/ family? Or what, Clarence left you home alone and forgot to lock the liquor cabinet AGAIN?
I mean, I can just see it now:
Ginny and her gang of bitter, bitchy, Lilly Pulitzer wearing, conservative Right croonies were sitting around in the manse, tossing back dry martinis like juice and complaining about why none of them were picked to be on the Real Housewives of DC. Next thing you know, one of the crypt keeper crew gets a little crunk and pipes up- “Yeah! Cause you know we got REAL drama! Shoot! Remember that trick Anita Hill, that tried to play your man Gin- Gin??” So then, Ginny takes another long swig before replying, “Hell yeah, I remember that ho. Matter-of-fact, I should call her.” And the ball starts a rolling…
Apparently a top Canadian Commander (who frequently piloted planes for top political figures and dignitaries, including Queen Elizabeth II) just plead guilty to rape, murder and stealing HUNDREDS of pairs of women’s underwear (mainly from adolescents & teens) during string of home invasion break-ins.
According to the NYT, 47 year-old Col. David Russell Williams, started the 2-year spree by simply breaking into his neighbors homes and stealing panties from the women AND children while the residents weren’t home. But then, he progressed to assaulting the women while they were home.
First last September, he broke into the homes of two women near the air base where he was in command, forced them to strip, blindfolded and photographed them. A month later, he broke into the home of Cpl. Marie-France Comeau, an air force flight attendant based who had flown with him. The police said she died after being beaten and having her mouth and nose sealed with tape. Finally in late January, the second woman, Jessica Lloyd, 27, was reported missing. Her body was found Feb. 8.
Seriously? There are too many sick and twisted little details for me to even begin to get into. You should definitely read the entire breakdown HERE. But in the meantime, some of my most fave highlights include:
-he kept METICULOUS photographic records of all the break-ins, thefts and assaults which captions and all.
-he masturbated on a neighbor’s daughter’s bed
-he took pictures of himself- sexually aroused or masturbating- while wearing the stolen panties
-he stole 87 pairs of undies from the same high school girl in a single break-in
-this nutjob is MARRIED and living with his wife the entire time
Okay, so you know I’m like totally obsessed with this whole Chilean miner rescue situation, right?
Cause the lord knows that I can barely make it through twenty minutes in an MRI machine without having a claustrophobia induced panic attack, let alone 69 freaking days in a dark hole with no bathroom.
DEAD FISH EYES
Oh and, thanks to my Twitter fam @looseneck I’m really, really on pins and needles waiting on the rescue of the trifling miner who’s wife discovered his affair when she met his mistress of several YEARS at a vigil by the collapsed mine. Talking about, “she heard another woman calling out his name.”
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I mean, can you even believe the audacity of this bish? Not only is she in an international forum laying claims to a married man but then she got the nerve to be out there carrying on and screaming louder than his damn wife?
When I tell you, 2010 is the year of the jump off?
And wait on it, here’s the BEST part: Apparently neither woman is backing down. Both the wife and the mistress have publicly vowed to remain on site and wait for him to be brought to the surface. And then he’ll have to choose. On international television.
*faints, regains consciousness and reaches for the popcorn*
Mark my words, SOMEBODY is getting their face smacked in on CNN before this is over.
OMG, OMG, Oh My F’KING God!!! This video is crazy. I am so going to have nightmares for days behind this nonsense. Real talk, I can’t even breath I’m so freaked out.
How the hell did this fool sit there and tape this attack? And he was there with his children? Are you freaking KIDDING me??? Please believe that I would’ve been snatched up my kid and hit the bricks from the moment I saw blood being drawn on the first bite.
Those poor men. I am literally shaking right now.
When I tell you that my kids are
NEVER going to step foot anywhere near a damn one-ring circus in LIFE?!?!?!
Lord have mercy… I wonder what the trainers did behind the scenes to those lions that angered them to that point. SMDH.
*makes a sign of the cross with the right as I reach for a sedative with my left*
