Mitzi Moments

Category: made for the maury show

stop the presses…

By on March 31, 2011 in made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue

So about this reality show fights montage the Daily News compiled… Um yeah.

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While I feel like we’ve seen most of them in commercial snippets, it’s certainly shocking as shit when you run them all together. And just between you and me, it’s even more shocking was that there was not ONE black person involved in this craziness.

*light bulb goes off*

Of course, that’s why it’s suddenly a mainstream concern. ‘Cause now that reality shows are capturing the Kardashians caught up in domestic violence and teen moms from middle America slap boxing over the little black boy in the mugshot it’s DEFINITELY a crisis.

Yeah, now I totally understand.

it ain’t right, but I surely understand…

By on March 18, 2011 in made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue

YIKES!


This video of a grown ass white woman getting beat up on the subway by two teenagers is NUTS. This is EXACTLY the reason that as soon as the weather warms up, my little behind chooses to walk as much as possible.

Cause not for nothing, NYC Public Transportation Survival Rule #1: MIND YA BUSINESS.

READ: if it ain’t a rape, robbery, gang assault or a freaking bomb, keep it moving.

Honestly, I don’t know what kind of Rocky Balboa juice the so-called ADULT in this situation was sipping but there was no reason for her to comment on what that CHILD is eating. I don’t care is if it smelled like dog crap. As long as she wasn’t spilling the food, it is what it is.

AND she called the teenager an animal??

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I hate to say it but, there ain’t enough koom-ba-ya/ turn the other cheek/ goodwill in the WORLD for that last comment right there. Ever.

*shrugs & walks away*

the gospel according to Lifetime…

By on March 14, 2011 in it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue

Uuugh. Just read a story in the NY Daily News about a 23 year-old Queens woman who was shot and killed by muggers after she allegedly refused to give up her purse. Can you imagine? But wait on it… why was her husband standing right next to her when all the drama went down??


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Yo. Not to be insensitive to the tragic nature of this situation but how in the world is your husband gonna stand there and let you get into a back & forth bunch of thugs with guns?

Uh-uh, there’s no way.

Even IF homegirl didn’t have the commonsense God gave a billy goat and was really acting belligerent over a damn purse, as a loving spouse it was HIS responsibility to step in & snatch that handbag right outta her hands. And after the muggers left, then the two could’ve beefed about it later…. as opposed to him now burying her six feet under.

I’m jussayin.

*cough* $50 says homeboy collects a major life insurance policy & runs off with the sidechick in t-minus two seconds.*cough*

new patron saint of hoodrats…

By on March 7, 2011 in end of days, made for the maury show, why we as a people can't get ahead

So err-umma yeah, about the ultimate gheotto ish that was last night’s season finale of VH1’s Basketball Wives…


DEAD FISH EYES

Normally, I prefer to simply voice my opinion on the reality TV tomfoolery on Twitter as it happens and then pretend I never saw the mess the next day. But I gotta tell you, Evelyn Lozada’s “performance” at Chad OchoCinco’s Cincinnati condo is worthy of additional airtime on the blog.

Why? Because out of all the chicks on that godawful show, she kept it 110% real.

If you ever wondered why the majority of these athletes & “ballers,” get so caught up and turned out by random dirty chicks like Kim Zoziack or Evelyn? Well my darlings, mystery solved.

It takes a certain mentality to break out the Kmart lingerie, thigh-high boots, and hop up on a dude’s lap you’ve only talked to over Skype- IN FRONT of an entire camera crew. Now had they been alone, that would’ve just been classified as grown folk business. Reckless but still, two consenting adults, I have no opinion. But the decision to make it happen for national TV? Well….

That right there ladies & gents, is a certified slut out mission to the highest power. Cause please believe, there were at least four other people in that room with them. And clearly, Ms. Lozada could have cared less.

Mind you, this is the same chick whose daughter is on her way to college this year. Pause. Can you imagine how she felt watching her mother get her ass palmed and carried up the stairs in return for a airplane ticket and plate of food??

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Mmm-hmm, just KLASSY.

#planbetter…

By on March 3, 2011 in end of days, it takes a village, it's in the genes, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue

I admit it. I started following Charlie Sheen on Twitter this morning.


*hangs head in shame*

I know, I know, I’m totally enabling the crazy. But I have to tell you, the tomfoolery is just so damn entertaining. And I don’t care how great folks say his performances were in “Two and A Half Men” (’cause I have yet to watch a single episode), something tells me it hardly compares to the comedy that is now Charlie’s “tigersblood” and his “bi-winning.”

HEE-larious.

Oh but I can tell you who’s NOT winning this morning:
Bringham Young University basketball star, Brandon Davies.

Nope. Not one bit. Homeboy done got himself suspended for the rest of the season. Mmm-hmm…

According to the Salt Lake Tribune, despite being the team’s leading rebounder and third leading scorer, the forward was dismissed from the No. 3 Cougars for the rest of the season for breaking the school’s moral code when he-WAIT ON IT- admitted to engaging in sexual relations with his girlfriend.

As most of you know, BYU is a private university run by the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter-day Saints. And them folk in Utah do not play that ish. At. All.

Apparently, the administration fully expects all its students to live up to the school’s Honor Code Statement which among other things includes abstaining from alcohol, coffee and living “a chaste and virtuous life.”
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Okay then… Ya’ll better stop playing the reindeer games with them Mormons.

*pours out a little holy water*

pride goes before the fall…

By on March 2, 2011 in desperate cry for help, going to hell in a handbasket, keep hope alive, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

Not for nothing, somebody might wanna send a prayer up for Pastor Grant Storms’ soul ASAP.

Cause apparently, the prominent New Orleans based Christian leader, who is best known for using a bullhorn to protest an annual three-day gay parade as “depraved”and describes masturbation as an immoral act, was just caught jerking off in his van. At a public park. During the day. While kids were around.

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Talking about, the TWO witnesses were confused. He was just peeing in a bottle… That is, until whatever tiny sense of honesty he actually has kicked in. Then the hypocrite finally confessed to beating off.

I mean, if this isn’t just… typical.

*drops the rosary beads and walks away*

there’s got to be a better way…

By on February 22, 2011 in it's in the genes, made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, why we as a people can't get ahead

It never ceases to amaze me how different teenagers are these days from when I was growing up. Like seriously, the sense of entitlement these kids have is just… . BEYOND.

Case in point, this 19 year-old Mexican girl Estibalis Chaves who’s been staging a hunger strike in front of the British Embassy in Mexico City for the past 9 days so that she can receive an invitation to Kate & Prince William’s upcoming royal wedding.

DEAD FISH EYES

Talking about, “Are they going to let me die just because they wouldn’t give me an invitation to the royal wedding?”

HUH?? Is this some kind of sick joke so that she’ll land a reality show? Cause forreal, this can’t be life.

For weeks, hundreds of innocent people in the Middle East have been losing their limbs & lives in a fight for BASIC human rights. And this fool ass chick is killing her damn self over a private event that has absolutely nothing to do with her, her family or even her own country???

*sucks the back of teeth completely clean*

Man listen… Someone please order her a pine box RIGHT now.

bullies in blue…

By on February 7, 2011 in end of days, made for the maury show, tapped out

I was searching the internet for one of the commercials that aired during the Super Bowl Last night- you know, the one that ends with the black woman throwing something at her boyfriend but it actually hits the white girl in the head. And when blondie falls out, the two of them run off together? OMG, that commercial was so funny, I woke up with a smile on my face. Unfortunatley, came across this video instead.

Um, yeah. Let’s just say I’m not laughing anymore.

Not for nothing, this ‘ish is crazy. Not only did they hit the kid with a patrol car but they beat fire out of him. For ATTEMPTED robbery? WOW.

I mean, not saying the lil’ dude is in the right. Criminal activity is criminal activity. But not for nothing, this is the kinda ass whooping somebody should’ve given Bernie Madoff or how about the white kid that shot up all those folks in Arizona??

*shrug*

I’m just saying.

this is not what Jesus would do…

By on February 2, 2011 in keep hope alive, made for the maury show, miracle on 169th street, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

As if this weather isn’t bad enough, now we’ve got nuns in Brooklyn falsely accusing Black men of rape.


*sucks the back of my teeth CLEAN*

Apparently, Sister Mary Turcotte, who just so happens to be white, filed a false police report claiming she was attacked on the street last Thursday by a 6-foot-4, 250-pound black man.

The 26 year-old liar told detectives the assailant choked her, dragged her through the streets and left her unconscious in a snowbank with her underwear down and her breasts exposed. Mm-hmm, she was real detailed.

It was only after the manhunt kicked off, that the religious fraud caught a bad case of the guilts and admitted that she concocted the entire assault to cover up her sexual shenanigans with a bodega worker.

PAUSE.

The bodega worker? As opposed to the bodega OWNER?? READ: The random dude who stocks the diapers on the shelves in the back???

*nosedives in the shallow end of the pool*

You know what… all that using your hidden sexual fantasies of being dragged through the streets and left in a snowbank to get it in with homie from the bodega is doing way too much. For her sake, I hope Gold helps her figure out whats really going on in that screwed up mind, while her ass sits in a jail cell for a couple of years.

Scandalous trick.

parenting isn’t for everybody…

By on January 28, 2011 in desperate cry for help, end of days, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

Let me get this straight. A 13-month old baby drowns in the bathtub while his mother is checking her friends’ status updates and playing CafeWorld on Facebook? Forreal?


When I initially saw this story, I almost refused to click link. And quite honestly, I’m sorry that I went against my gut. Cause now I’m physically ill.

Not only did this little boy drown because of his mother’s irresponsibility and lack of good judgement but wait on it… This ignorant hooker has the nerve to try and justify her actions??

Talking about, “he wanted to be left alone.”

HUH? He, who? Since when can a one year old tell an adult ANYTHING??? Let alone, give me privacy while I bathe.

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This tragedy was so senseless and preventable it’s just… BEYOND.

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