Mitzi Moments

Category: made for the maury show

the right place for your nude pic collection…

By on December 2, 2010 in it's in the genes, made for the maury show, tagging out

The internet never ceases to amaze me…


Case in point- I just found out about a social networking site called iVoyuer that’s describes itself as ‘the premier high-end social networking site for sexy swingers and curious sensualists’.

Uh-huh you read that correctly- curious sensualists.

According to Urban Daddy (the source of all things worth knowing in NYC), iVoyuer is “like Facebook for the Eyes Wide Shut crowd. So instead of reconnecting with your long-lost high school lab partner—though you never know—you’ll arrange for a night of sensual massage with a comely Danish couple in town for the weekend.”

Well, alrighty then.

Apparently, “you’ll start out with a questionnaire on the standard stuff—location, body type, safe word (“popcorn”)—before connecting to a database of singles and couples. From there, messages and friending work just like Facebook… but with better party pics.”

And wait on it… “every few months, the folks behind the site will throw a members-only bash, complete with masks, a secret location and things we can’t even talk about on the Internet.”

I can’t… But you should certainly feel free.

Check it out HERE.

ain’t it hunting season yet…

By on November 17, 2010 in desperate cry for help, i die, it's in the genes, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, why we as a people can't get ahead

Can someone PUH-lease explain to me why 16 year-old Willow Palin is on Facebook calling people that criticize her sister’s atrocious dancing skills “faggots” and “so gay?” Homophobic slurs from someone who has been raised in a home with supposed “strict Christian morals and values?”


Basic Home Training FAIL.

But wait on it… then Bristol, the baby mama with two left feet and lopsided body, co-signs on the crazy with her own 2 cents, “you’re running your mouth just to talk shit.”

Sources talking about they’re just baby bears protecting the Mama Grizzly.

BLANK STARE

Honestly? I can’t.

I mean, what is it with the Palin crew? Or they purposely creating an image of ignorance and ass-backwards-ness? Or is it that the stupid doesn’t fall too far from the tree? Don’t either of these girls have something better to do like I don’t know… go get knocked up by a guy with a G.E.D or perhaps look at Alaska from their front porch.

Standby for Trigg & Trip to pop and start beating down kids at the daycare in the name of defending their family honor in t-minus 5, 4, 3, 2, …

there’s a limit to the stupidity…

By on November 10, 2010 in end of days, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

WOWOWOW, Amazon.com is BUGGING.


How in the ‘twisted-unethical-hell’ are they selling a book entitled, ‘The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure’???? And wait on it, the freaking product description boldly states:

“This is my attempt to make pedophile situations safer for those juveniles that find themselves involved in them, by establishing certain rules for these adults to follow. I hope to achieve this by appealing to the better nature of pedosexuals, with hope that their doing so will result in less hatred and perhaps liter sentences should they ever be caught.”
(FYI- the spelling errors are all theirs not mine.)

BLANK STARE w/ 3 LOONG BLINKS


*gags*

For the record:
1 in 4 girls in the United States have been sexually abused
1 in 6 boys in the United States have been sexually abused

And Amazon thinks it’s a good idea to sell a how-to guide for perverts and sexual deviants 2 months before Christmas???

SMH. Greed is a bish.


**UPDATE** Do to the overwhelming negative response and consumer threats of a massive boycott weeks before Christmas, Amazon has decided to stop selling the book. READ: Money talks & bullshit walks.

the mugshot says it all…

By on November 10, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

I have to tell ya, I’m definitely at a loss for words this morning.

First, there’s the Manhattan judge that co-signed on a plea bargain that will give Tony Simmons, a juvenile court counselor who raped a 15-year-old and sexually assaulted a 15-year-old and a 16-year-old 10 years’ probation and NO prison time. Mind you, all three of the girls were his clients at the time of the rapes.

And then, there’s Lyndsey Fiddler, the 26 year-old Oklahoma woman who accidently tossed her 10-day old baby in the washing machine with a load of dirty laundry. It turns out homegirl was high as a kite on meth, amphetamines, benzodiazepine and opiates at the time. Anyhoo, so this mom of the year proceeds to pass out on a chair while the baby drowns. She’s only facing child neglect charges.

BLANK STARE

I mean seriously? How can the Manhattan DA that originally crafted the plea bargain or this wack FEMALE judge sleep at night knowing they’ve allowed a serial rapist to simply go free. Cause the last time I checked, probation ain’t never stopped nobody from committing a crime. Just ask the doctor in CT who’s family was burned and burned to death.

And as for the trashy chick in OK, what makes the story even more horrifying is that her family tried to get her parental rights revoked when she was 4 months pregnant because they KNEW she was an addict and endangering the child’s life. But no. The courts denied their request.

I thought the purpose of the judicial system was to protect the innocent and serve justice. Apparently, not so much.

*logs off*

riding the white horse…

By on November 2, 2010 in made for the maury show, that sense of entitlement

In some serious WTF??? news… Charlie Sheen has filed for divorce from his 3rd estranged wife, Brooke Mueller.


PAUSE.

Um, how in the ass backwards hell is Charlie Sheen filing papers on anyone??

I mean, isn’t he the same dude that just got released from the hospital for the coke-fueled freakout on a porn star/ prostitute in hotel while his ex-wife and kids were down the hall? And yet HE wants a divorce?

*faints*

White men with money KILL me. The. End.

fodder for the tea party…

By on November 1, 2010 in going to hell in a handbasket, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

It’s amazing how fast time flies! Not only is it already the first of November- let the official birthday countdown begin- but it’s already time for midterm elections. READ: Obama is already halfway through his presidency. WHEW!!


Now, I know that I don’t have to remind/ encourage any of you guys to go out and vote tomorrow. But in case you needed a specific reason to stay involved in politics and be mindful of how your tax dollars are being WASTED, here ya go:

EXHIBIT A:
A NY Judge recently ruled that a 6 YEAR-OLD can be sued over accusations that she ran over an elderly woman with her training bike.The little girl was 4 YEARS-OLD at the time of the incident/

BLANK STARE
No seriously. King’s County Supreme Court Justice Paul Wooten ruled that a first grader can be sued.

I. Will. Not.

While I can certainly understand that the family of the victim, 87- year old Claire Menagh are probably sad and still grieving (apparently Claire’s fall required surgery for a fractured hip and she subsequently died three months later), but COME ON.

The lady was 86 years-old. She lived a long and hopefully happy life. Accidents with kids happen all the time. Are you REALLY so litigious that you’re going to waste taxpayers dollars on suing a little girl who wasn’t even in kindergarten at the time?? And this fool as judge is going to give you a forum for this nonsense?

*sucks the back of teeth clean & rolls eyes*

Good luck.

he ain’t no kinda friend…

By on October 22, 2010 in it's in the genes, love be a cellulite cream, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out, too old for the road, why we as a people can't get ahead

So last night the bestie forwarded me an article from the Detroit Free Press Newspaper. And I swear, it is the craziest story I’ve heard all week. Okay, wait. I take that back. It’s the SECOND craziest behind presumptuous ass Ginny Thomas leaving stalker voicemails. But anyhoo I digress…


Apparently, this past Tuesday afternoon, a Detroit man shot and killed a would-be carjacker when the assailant tried to stick him up at a gas station. The victim, Omar Mixion was filling up his Escalade (BLANK STARE for still pushing such a ridiculous gas guzzler in 2010) when 20 year-old Kenyon Reese Jr came up from behind and demanded the truck at gunpoint.

Well, turns out Kenyon wasn’t the only one packing heat that afternoon. Your man Omar has a license to carry a concealed weapon. And so he refused to give up the keys to the Caddy and ‘ish went DOWN straight wild, wild west style.

When it was all said and done, the wanna be jacker was dead and Mixon was hospitalized with hits under his eye, in an arm, leg, through his hip and backside.

N-U-T-S.

So THEN, the article goes on to report eyewitness testimony from a woman who happened to be inside the gas station when all the madness erupted. And I quote:

“Lonya Smoot said she heard the gunshots when she was in the gas station buying a lottery ticket Tuesday night, playing her favorite four digits: 1-0-1-1. **

‘The manager said, ‘Hit the floor!’ Smoot said. ‘And that’s what I did.’

The station attendant, she said, locked the doors from the inside, but a woman inside who was with the carjacking victim yelled, ‘Oh my god! That’s my man!’ and he let her outside.

Smoot said the other woman came back in with another younger woman and a child. Smoot said she believes both were in the SUV when the would-be carjacker tried to steal the vehicle.“

And while police confirm the eyewitness’s account, turns out Omar’s wife Brenda Mixon and her children were NOT part of the aforementioned group of women and child at the gas station when the incident occurred.

SILENCE.

But wait on it… Here’s the BEST part. And I quote:

“Brenda Mixon said she doesn’t know who was with her husband, who initially denied that there was another woman present.

Right now, Mixon said, she wants to focus on getting her husband of 10 years and father of her two children better.

‘When he gets better, then I will talk to him about everything else,’ she said. ‘That’s my husband, that’s my heart, that’s my best friend right there.’

She said she’s glad her husband was carrying a gun.

‘Whoever has a CCW, do not be afraid to use it,’ she said.”

BLANK STARE w/ 3 LOOONG BLINKS.

So essentially, you co-signing on your man’s trifling ass getting into a shoot out at a freaking GAS STATION over a piece of shit Escalade (insert image of the whole place exploding into high hell) while he’s chilling with his jump-off and her kid?? And that’s your best friend?? Sweetie, what the HELL kinda friends do you have??

*nosedives into the shallow end of the pool*

Yo. As for as I’m concerned, Omar deserves every bullet he took for that reckless ass shit he pulled. Quietly, he really needs to go to jail for public endangerment. Can you imagine how many people could’ve been killed just because his ego was too big to give up the truck?? SMDH.

Oh and as for his retarded, low-self-esteem having, co-signing wife?? She is EXACTLY why even the most random, average men continue to believe it’s cool to behave badly in relationships. Yeah, I said it. ‘Cause for every decent woman that says no to the nonsense, there are HUNDREDS of Brendas willing to look the other way even when the craziness lands on the front page of your freaking local newspaper. Talking about, ‘that’s your heart and when he gets better, you’ll talk about everything else.’ SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT, good luck. Had Omar been married to me, after 10 YEARS and multiple CHILDREN, there wouldn’t have been a home for him to return to whether we ‘talked’ about it or not.

Bet that.

*drops the mic & walks away*
**But, before I go, why are they reporting on this woman’s lottery number picks?? DFP staff, I’m gonna need ya’ll to tighten up on those writing skills ASAP. Thanks.

got my eye on this…

By on October 20, 2010 in it takes a village, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, taking it one day at a time, that sense of entitlement

Well alrighty then, here’s one way to nip that pesky meth problem in the bud. Literally.


Tired of the increasing rate of drug addicts giving birth to sick and dysfunctional children that they are incapable of caring for, Project Prevention a North Carolina based charity is now PAYING said addicts $300 not to have children.

Uh huh, you read that correctly, they’re paying female and males addicts CASH to either insert an IUD, have tubes cut or have a vasectomy. Talking about, “They prefer to PREVENT a problem for $300 rather than paying millions after it happens in cost to care for a potentially damaged child.”

Silence.

Now, in theory this sounds like a good idea. But I gotta keep it 1000, offering a crackhead $300 in exchange for your ability to procreate is not really a fair choice. Shoot, we’ve all seen those ghetto knock-out/ bum fight DVDS (or maybe that’s was just me). Addicts will do soso much more for less when they are desperate for a fix.

Not to mention, I saw this same story recreated on Law & Order SVU years ago. At the time I thought the story was made up. Clearly I was wrong. Anyhoo, on the show, even when the addicts chose the temporary solution (the IUD) the rightwing nutjobs were straight sterilizing EVERYBODY. So what’s to stop them from doing the same thing in real life??

And more importantly, I’d be very interested to see ethnic data breakdown of the addicts that are getting paid off by these concern white women. Cause if they’re only targeting addicts of color, in some thinly veiled ethnic cleansing, I’m gonna have issues.

Real talk.

entitlement & licca don’t mix…

By on October 20, 2010 in going to hell in a handbasket, made for the maury show, work it white girl

And just like the basket of cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster the good times never end.



BLANK STARE

And now we’ve got Clarence Thomas’s ridiculous right-wing nut ass wife Ginny leaving belligerent messages on Anita Hill’s work phone. Talking about, “I would love you to consider an apology some time and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband.”

Are you serious???

First of all, who the hell told GINNY that she had the right to ask for an apology from ANYONE? Forreal, she ain’t nothing but a pompous, out-of-line, attention seeking 53- year old bish. I don’t know which of her fellow Teabagging homegirls put the battery in her back and that fool gassed up, but alla them hoes are dead wrong for this nonsense.

I mean, let’s keep it 1000. Ginny DOES NOT WANT IT with Ms. Anita. We all know her shady good-for-nothing, self-hating husband is guilty as the day is long. Okay? And even more importantly, this ain’t 1991. Ron and Nancy ain’t around to make folks testimonies disappear no more.

Ginny, you WILL get that lily white behind embarrassed if you keep up with the sheenanigans!

And not for nothing, it’s been a THOUSAND years. Why is she even thinking about, let alone harassing this woman? And on a damn SATURDAY afternoon? Um hello, shouldn’t you be spending time your husband/ family? Or what, Clarence left you home alone and forgot to lock the liquor cabinet AGAIN?

I mean, I can just see it now:

Ginny and her gang of bitter, bitchy, Lilly Pulitzer wearing, conservative Right croonies were sitting around in the manse, tossing back dry martinis like juice and complaining about why none of them were picked to be on the Real Housewives of DC. Next thing you know, one of the crypt keeper crew gets a little crunk and pipes up- “Yeah! Cause you know we got REAL drama! Shoot! Remember that trick Anita Hill, that tried to play your man Gin- Gin??” So then, Ginny takes another long swig before replying, “Hell yeah, I remember that ho. Matter-of-fact, I should call her.” And the ball starts a rolling…

Just. Like. Like.

assed out in the most literal sense…

By on October 19, 2010 in end of days, going to hell in a handbasket, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, tagging out

Wow. Just, Wow…

Apparently a top Canadian Commander (who frequently piloted planes for top political figures and dignitaries, including Queen Elizabeth II) just plead guilty to rape, murder and stealing HUNDREDS of pairs of women’s underwear (mainly from adolescents & teens) during string of home invasion break-ins.

According to the NYT, 47 year-old Col. David Russell Williams, started the 2-year spree by simply breaking into his neighbors homes and stealing panties from the women AND children while the residents weren’t home. But then, he progressed to assaulting the women while they were home.

First last September, he broke into the homes of two women near the air base where he was in command, forced them to strip, blindfolded and photographed them. A month later, he broke into the home of Cpl. Marie-France Comeau, an air force flight attendant based who had flown with him. The police said she died after being beaten and having her mouth and nose sealed with tape. Finally in late January, the second woman, Jessica Lloyd, 27, was reported missing. Her body was found Feb. 8.

Seriously? There are too many sick and twisted little details for me to even begin to get into. You should definitely read the entire breakdown HERE. But in the meantime, some of my most fave highlights include:

-he kept METICULOUS photographic records of all the break-ins, thefts and assaults which captions and all.
-he masturbated on a neighbor’s daughter’s bed
-he took pictures of himself- sexually aroused or masturbating- while wearing the stolen panties
-he stole 87 pairs of undies from the same high school girl in a single break-in
-this nutjob is MARRIED and living with his wife the entire time

BLANK STARE

So err-um, guess who’s NOT moving to Canada??

*both hands shoot up high in the air*

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