Mitzi Moments

Category: made for the maury show

facebook is the devil…

By on January 26, 2011 in end of days, keep hope alive, made for the maury show, tapped out, work it white girl

And in other loosey goosey white woman news:


Two cousins from Long Island, Melanie Spanopoulos and Giselle Penagos, got into a disagreement over a dude who accepted one chick’s Facebook friend request yet denied the other cousin.

As if even having an argument over a Facebook friend request isn’t petty enough, when Giselle (the denied female) found out that her cousin’s request had been accepted, she caught an attitude and refused to get into a car with Melanie. Well, turns out Melanie wasn’t having it. So this moron proceeded to hit her cousin with her van- TWO TIMES.

(Clearly one time wasn’t enough. Homegirl needed to put the vehicle in reverse and run that ass over again to make her point. )

Long story short, poor Giselle required surgery Monday to fix a broken leg and shattered pelvis.

BLANK STARE

Just so we’re all clear, this crazy bish ran over and then reversed a freaking VAN on top of her own flesh and blood b/c of some dude’s FB friend selection?

*logs all the way off*

mo money, mo problems…

By on January 24, 2011 in desperate cry for help, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue

So Oprah’s got a half-sister, huh?


Lucky chick.

Cause I surely was sitting here hoping that the big announcement was that she discovered that she actually had a secret love child out and that it turned out to be ME. No offense mom.

Oh wells, so much for that crack pipe dream.

On another note, prayers up for all the victims of the terrorist attack at the Moscow airport and Holly Lahti, the 29 year-old single mom that won $190 million dollars in the Mega Millions jackpot about three weeks ago. Turns out homegirl had serious domestic violence issues with her sleazy, estranged husband (who put that nasty shiner on her left eye back in 2003 & also happens to be suing for a chunk of her winnings) and is now missing.

BLANK STARE

*makes the sign of the cross and starts tossing holy water every which way*

do not pass go, do not collect a single dollar…

By on January 20, 2011 in desperate cry for help, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, tapped out



For the record, I am adamantly pro-choice.

I have no interest or desire to regulate another woman’s reproductive decisions nor do I believe that it is anyone else’s right to do so.

Because at the end of the day, there’s only one person that will have to live with the mental and physical consequences of giving birth to an unwanted child. And it sure as hell ain’t nam one of the folks holding up graphic protest signs and blockading the entrance to abortion clinics.

With that said, I am absolutely horrified by the accusations against this doctor in Philadelphia. H-O-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.

Performing medical services in a filthy clinic that reeked of cat urine?
Abortions given during the 6th & 7th month of pregnancy?
Severing living babies’ spinal cords with scissors?
Hoarding bags of fetuses in a refrigerator?
Transferring venereal disease from patient to patient b/c the instruments weren’t sterilized?
Saving baby feet in jars for no known medical reason?

*gags violently*

This man wasn’t a medical practitioner, he was a freaking MONSTER.

And what makes is so devastating is that he clearly preyed on the weakest members of his very own community. Cause ain’t no way in the world, any woman with means and options would elect to have such a sensitive surgery in such a disgusting, demoralizing and offensive environment.

There’s a special place in hell for people who are part of ish like this. And certainly I hope that man, his wife (who was his partner in crime) and all the rest of the so called professionals in the office -receptionist, nurse, anesthetist, whoever was there- see fit to make their way there ASAP.

screwed up priorities…

By on January 19, 2011 in made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

So I’m going to skip right over Regis’s retirement announcement, the 300 dead cows in Wisconsin and get to the important stuff: the bidding war over O.B tampons on Ebay!


*silence*

Okay, I kid, I kid. But don’t act like paying $79 for a box of tampons isn’t excessive.

Actually, a couple of stories caught my attention this morning as I was catching up from the long weekend hiatus: First, there’s the story about the Memphis high school where 90 teen girls are pregnant or have already given birth this school year. Uh, 90? All in 1 school? SMH. So much for abstinence, huh? Then there is the article on the Hepatitis C patient in Alaska who was charged with attempted murder for spitting on a nurse while she was trying to put him in restraints. Now, ya’ll already know how squeamish I am about germs & saliva… Can you imagine what this poor woman was thinking when ‘ole dude hocked a fat one in her mouth?? *shudders* But the most intriguing of all the headlines I stumbled across was the white guy who completely wilded out when his wife caught him watching porn. And when I say wilded out, I mean homeboy flew into a rage and straight stabbed her to death. Mmm-hmmm… But wait on it- after the murder, he proceeded to go to a basketball game and THEN call the police.

DEAD.

Like seriously? There are so many things wrong with this last story. First of all, why are married people still getting into arguements over porn? Its a video with actors. That he will never meet. Now, if it was a video of your next door neighbors or your kid’s 3rd grade teacher, that’s a little different. But some botox filled broad and bi-sexual man w a penile extension? So not worth the energy or worse, getting yourself killed over. At all.

And who in the trailer trash crazy goes to a basketball game before reporting a murder? For all that, he might as well not call at all. Just toss her ass in a garbage bag and keep it moving.

No offense.

Maybe I’m just tired this morning but the series of poor decisions in this situation is simply perplexing. Forreal.

now is the time to call 911…

By on January 14, 2011 in end of days, made for the maury show, why we as a people can't get ahead

It’s funny, because as a single woman, I’m frequented being asked what I look in a mate. And naturally, here are a lot of qualities that I hope that my life partner will possess. But after watching this video, I gotta tell you the order of that theoretical list IMMEDIATELY become revised and now has a non-negotiable number one:


SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE.

YO, how in the WORLD does anyone in their right mind drive by an unsupervised toddler waddling down the sidewalk EVER???? And the baby was ONLY wearing a pair of diapers in the f’king SNOW???

BLANK STARE w/ MOUTH COMPLETELY AJAR

Ya’ll these dudes are beyond foul and selfish. And their sick, voyeuristic ability to enjoy witnessing what is clearly a cry of help and not get involved is just…

This is exactly what I meant when I say, as embarrassed as that pre-teen might have TEMPORARILY felt getting whupped up on by his Uncle, at LEAST somebody cared enough to jump in and get involved when he was endangering his life (And yes, posting pictures of yourself pretending to be a drug dealing gang member and making terrorist death treats on the internet where nothing ever disappears IS endangering your life).

This seriously reminds me of the type of people that stand around and video tape a woman being gang raped. But in that case, at least the cowards can claim that they might of been scared for their own safety. This is a BABY on a deserted street in a clearly blighted area of town.

I really hope all the men laughing in that car face criminal charges for their depraved indifference.

*drops the mic and walks away*

why is she a 26 year-old senior…

By on December 22, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, tagging out, work it white girl

In this week’s swept-under-the-rug news, this past Sunday the Ithaca Police Department snatched up 26 year-old Cornell senior, Keri Lynn Blakinger in some local hotel parking lot holding nearly SIX ounces of UNCUT heroin!!

BLANK STARE w/ 3 LOONG BLINKS

Um,what in the over-educated, no commonsense having, delusions of grandeur hell?

Will someone please explain to me why these privileged college students are behaving like they’re corner boys from the 80s? I know the economy is in a recession but times ain’t NEVER that goddamn tough if you’re enrolled in freaking IVY LEAGUE University! Sheeeit.

But not for nothing, what’s really, really, really making my nerves bad is homegirl from Cornell’s mugshot. Yo. Why does her skin look like a damn biology class experiment gone all the way WRONG??

This chick has mad sores and open blisters all over her face. Uuggh. Makes me wanna grab a Sharpie and play connect the dots on her pockmarked face. And then her hair… JE-SUS.

*makes the sign of the cross*

No exaggeration, there’s so much grease I can smell it from here. I know it’s finals week but dammit, she couldn’t have taken a quick shower before she went to make that drop? No? Too much?

*gags violently*

Ya’ll brats better stop playing the reindeer games, turn off that damn Rick Ross and get your asses back to that study group. Dammit.

arizona is a bad, bad place…

By on December 21, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, going to hell in a handbasket, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

Right… So about Elizabeth Johnson, the chick in Arizona that basically admitted killing her 8-month year old baby, stuffing his lifeless body in a diaper bag & tossing it into a dumpster after she found out on Facebook that her baby daddy was kicking it to another girl???


DEAD FISH EYES

I’m really starting to think that folks should be required to pass some sort of mental stability exam before having access to social networking sites. ‘Cause this is officially doing the most right now. Killing your own flesh and blood because you snooped around and found exactly what you were looking for? Lord have mercy, this is some real life, white trash version of that scene from For Colored Girls… SMDH.

Epic. Parental. FAIL.

And not for nothing, I equally fault the child’s father for this senseless tragedy. Mmm-hmm… sure do. Because if you know that you’re dealing with a psycho chick- why would you put your personal business on freaking Facebook??

And DO NOT even try to tell us that you didn’t think she was capable of the crazy. Not for nothing, I took one look at that ‘extra calm, eyes-wide-open but nobody’s home’ mugshot and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt… this bish is a killer. Just. Like That.

Meanwhile, he done dates, procreated and been in a protracted custody battle with her looneytunes ass? nope. He should’ve known better.

As far as I’m concerned, he was practically begging for her to snap off and act up.

*makes a sign of the cross*

You know, instead of spending all that time and energy trying to run out the Mexicans, Governor Jan Brewer should focus on keeping the babies safe unstable moms.

2 steps back…

By on December 21, 2010 in end of days, i die, made for the maury show, why we as a people can't get ahead

Hmmm, so THIS is what musical gentrification has gotten us. Fantastic. Just fantastic.


*reaches for the stash of little blue pills & bottle of vodka*

Feel free to thank my homie, Miz Cooper for this gem.

cloudy days ahead…

By on December 16, 2010 in going to hell in a handbasket, it's in the genes, made for the maury show, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, tagging out

Oh Heidi, Heidi, Heidi… I know it’s hard to stay relevant in television these days. Especially when you’re a visibly aging weather girl for the weekend evening news report show.


(SIDEBAR:. I so didn’t even know there was a evening news broadcasts on the weekends! Who’s watching the news on a damn Saturday??)

But sweetie, filing false rape reports is not the way to way to do that sunshine.

Personally, I believe you should serve every last day of that year long jail sentence. Perhaps that will give you some time to think about all the ACTUAL rape victims whose REAL cases weren’t being investigated while the police went on this wild goose of yours.

DEAD FISH EYES

Oh and good luck with that job suspension… Seems like a shitty economy to be playing the reindeer games with your livelihood. Sure hope your attention-seeking ass saved up for a rainy day.

keep a candle lit…

By on December 15, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue

There seems to be a lot going on this morning. From what looks to be another serial killer in Long Island to the shoot out in a Florida school board meeting to Juarez, Mexico reporting it’s 3,000th homicide of the year, its a busy news.


Ironically, one story that does not seem to be getting any air time, except from a few conscious bloggers and on my not-so secret political correspondent crush, Marc Lamont Hill’s Twitter feed is the non-violent protest (they’re refusing to leave their cells to work or eat) Georgia State Prisoners have been staging for the past six days.

Apparently the inmates are refusing to work and eat until they are granted:

- Fair wages for their labor

- Educational Opportunities including vocational and self-improvement opportunities

- Basic Healthcare

-An end to cruel and unusual punishments

-Decent Living Conditions

-Nutritional meals

-Access to families

-Just parole decisions

Um, not ONE of these requests seem unreasonable to me.

Yet, they’re being dragged from their cells, beaten, denied hot water or heat and alternatively thrown in solitary confinement to force them to go back to work. Guess they don’t give a damn if they don’t wanna eat, huh?

Regardless of the crime- who’s mad at a con for wanting to pick up a book or a trade? Uh, not me. Lord only knows what kind of sickness and contagious diseases are running rampant inside them dirty ass prisons… If we’re not using cruel and unusual punishment on terrorists, why would we utilize it against our own citizens? I mean, just because you’re in jail, doesn’t mean you have to live like an animal. Why shouldn’t they have a decent cell? Or get to see their families. Maybe those visits will be motivation to act right. As for pay, the average prisoner only makes 5o cents an hour. these guys are making NOTHING. Come on, that’s ridiculous. Oh and you know what, since all the right-wing parents of little fatass kids are beefing about our First Lady wanting to ‘dictate “what’s on their school menus- just go on and give the damn apples and bananas to the prisoners.

Word.

So even if there are no breaking news headlines every hour on CNN, by all means, get to praying.

All those men are asking for is a little bit of decency and to be treated like human beings. And if it is not given now, please believe when they are all finally released, most will probably return the favor to their respective communities.

BLANK STARE

** Snatched this from The Crunk Feminist Collective’s post on the matter:
Below is a list of prisons where prisoners are still on lockdown & where you can call to express concern.

Hays State Prison—706-857-0400

Macon State Prison—978-472-3900

Telfair State Prison—229-868-7721

Smith State Prison – 912-654-5000

The Georgia Department of Corrections is at http://www.dcor.state.ga.us and their phone number is 478-992-5246


CATEGORIES

Contact

Name
Email
Message

Yay! Message sent.
Error! Please validate your fields.
Design by materialdsign.com