Category: tagging out

So last night the bestie forwarded me an article from the Detroit Free Press Newspaper. And I swear, it is the craziest story I’ve heard all week. Okay, wait. I take that back. It’s the SECOND craziest behind presumptuous ass Ginny Thomas leaving stalker voicemails. But anyhoo I digress…


Apparently, this past Tuesday afternoon, a Detroit man shot and killed a would-be carjacker when the assailant tried to stick him up at a gas station. The victim, Omar Mixion was filling up his Escalade (BLANK STARE for still pushing such a ridiculous gas guzzler in 2010) when 20 year-old Kenyon Reese Jr came up from behind and demanded the truck at gunpoint.

Well, turns out Kenyon wasn’t the only one packing heat that afternoon. Your man Omar has a license to carry a concealed weapon. And so he refused to give up the keys to the Caddy and ‘ish went DOWN straight wild, wild west style.

When it was all said and done, the wanna be jacker was dead and Mixon was hospitalized with hits under his eye, in an arm, leg, through his hip and backside.

N-U-T-S.

So THEN, the article goes on to report eyewitness testimony from a woman who happened to be inside the gas station when all the madness erupted. And I quote:

“Lonya Smoot said she heard the gunshots when she was in the gas station buying a lottery ticket Tuesday night, playing her favorite four digits: 1-0-1-1. **

‘The manager said, ‘Hit the floor!’ Smoot said. ‘And that’s what I did.’

The station attendant, she said, locked the doors from the inside, but a woman inside who was with the carjacking victim yelled, ‘Oh my god! That’s my man!’ and he let her outside.

Smoot said the other woman came back in with another younger woman and a child. Smoot said she believes both were in the SUV when the would-be carjacker tried to steal the vehicle.

And while police confirm the eyewitness’s account, turns out Omar’s wife Brenda Mixon and her children were NOT part of the aforementioned group of women and child at the gas station when the incident occurred.

SILENCE.

But wait on it… Here’s the BEST part. And I quote:

“Brenda Mixon said she doesn’t know who was with her husband, who initially denied that there was another woman present.

Right now, Mixon said, she wants to focus on getting her husband of 10 years and father of her two children better.

‘When he gets better, then I will talk to him about everything else,’ she said. ‘That’s my husband, that’s my heart, that’s my best friend right there.’

She said she’s glad her husband was carrying a gun.

‘Whoever has a CCW, do not be afraid to use it,’ she said.”

BLANK STARE w/ 3 LOOONG BLINKS.

So essentially, you co-signing on your man’s trifling ass getting into a shoot out at a freaking GAS STATION over a piece of shit Escalade (insert image of the whole place exploding into high hell) while he’s chilling with his jump-off and her kid?? And that’s your best friend?? Sweetie, what the HELL kinda friends do you have??

*nosedives into the shallow end of the pool*

Yo. As for as I’m concerned, Omar deserves every bullet he took for that reckless ass shit he pulled. Quietly, he really needs to go to jail for public endangerment. Can you imagine how many people could’ve been killed just because his ego was too big to give up the truck?? SMDH.

Oh and as for his retarded, low-self-esteem having, co-signing wife?? She is EXACTLY why even the most random, average men continue to believe it’s cool to behave badly in relationships. Yeah, I said it. ‘Cause for every decent woman that says no to the nonsense, there are HUNDREDS of Brendas willing to look the other way even when the craziness lands on the front page of your freaking local newspaper. Talking about, ‘that’s your heart and when he gets better, you’ll talk about everything else.’ SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT, good luck. Had Omar been married to me, after 10 YEARS and multiple CHILDREN, there wouldn’t have been a home for him to return to whether we ‘talked’ about it or not.

Bet that.

*drops the mic & walks away*
**But, before I go, why are they reporting on this woman’s lottery number picks?? DFP staff, I’m gonna need ya’ll to tighten up on those writing skills ASAP. Thanks.

Wow. Just, Wow…

Apparently a top Canadian Commander (who frequently piloted planes for top political figures and dignitaries, including Queen Elizabeth II) just plead guilty to rape, murder and stealing HUNDREDS of pairs of women’s underwear (mainly from adolescents & teens) during string of home invasion break-ins.

According to the NYT, 47 year-old Col. David Russell Williams, started the 2-year spree by simply breaking into his neighbors homes and stealing panties from the women AND children while the residents weren’t home. But then, he progressed to assaulting the women while they were home.

First last September, he broke into the homes of two women near the air base where he was in command, forced them to strip, blindfolded and photographed them. A month later, he broke into the home of Cpl. Marie-France Comeau, an air force flight attendant based who had flown with him. The police said she died after being beaten and having her mouth and nose sealed with tape. Finally in late January, the second woman, Jessica Lloyd, 27, was reported missing. Her body was found Feb. 8.

Seriously? There are too many sick and twisted little details for me to even begin to get into. You should definitely read the entire breakdown HERE. But in the meantime, some of my most fave highlights include:

-he kept METICULOUS photographic records of all the break-ins, thefts and assaults which captions and all.
-he masturbated on a neighbor’s daughter’s bed
-he took pictures of himself- sexually aroused or masturbating- while wearing the stolen panties
-he stole 87 pairs of undies from the same high school girl in a single break-in
-this nutjob is MARRIED and living with his wife the entire time

BLANK STARE

So err-um, guess who’s NOT moving to Canada??

*both hands shoot up high in the air*

Okay, so you know I’m like totally obsessed with this whole Chilean miner rescue situation, right?


Cause the lord knows that I can barely make it through twenty minutes in an MRI machine without having a claustrophobia induced panic attack, let alone 69 freaking days in a dark hole with no bathroom.

DEAD FISH EYES

Oh and, thanks to my Twitter fam @looseneck I’m really, really on pins and needles waiting on the rescue of the trifling miner who’s wife discovered his affair when she met his mistress of several YEARS at a vigil by the collapsed mine. Talking about, “she heard another woman calling out his name.”

BLANK STARE

I mean, can you even believe the audacity of this bish? Not only is she in an international forum laying claims to a married man but then she got the nerve to be out there carrying on and screaming louder than his damn wife?

When I tell you, 2010 is the year of the jump off?

And wait on it, here’s the BEST part: Apparently neither woman is backing down. Both the wife and the mistress have publicly vowed to remain on site and wait for him to be brought to the surface. And then he’ll have to choose. On international television.

*faints, regains consciousness and reaches for the popcorn*

Mark my words, SOMEBODY is getting their face smacked in on CNN before this is over.

OMG, OMG, Oh My F’KING God!!! This video is crazy. I am so going to have nightmares for days behind this nonsense. Real talk, I can’t even breath I’m so freaked out.

How the hell did this fool sit there and tape this attack? And he was there with his children? Are you freaking KIDDING me??? Please believe that I would’ve been snatched up my kid and hit the bricks from the moment I saw blood being drawn on the first bite.

Those poor men. I am literally shaking right now.

When I tell you that my kids are NEVER going to step foot anywhere near a damn one-ring circus in LIFE?!?!?!


Lord have mercy… I wonder what the trainers did behind the scenes to those lions that angered them to that point. SMDH.

*makes a sign of the cross with the right as I reach for a sedative with my left*

They say, a single look is worth more than a thousand words.


Mm-hmm… So, I’m thinking Sasha’s Obama’s laser beam side-eye at the paparazzi as the First Family walked back to the White House from church after this past Sunday morning service pretty much sums up how I’m feeling about greasy ass Pastor Eddie Long.

Cause here’s the thing: How are you going to be “one of the most virulently homophobic black leaders in the religiously based anti-gay movement” and then get caught up in some ish like coercing young male Church members to masturbate you??

HUH, Eddie??

For those who are unfamiliar, Eddie Long is the same ignorant fool who actively campaigned (and essentially convinced THOUSANDS of the poor Southern people that are members of his megachurch to vote) for George W. Bush’s re-election in 2004. Why he do that, you ask? Because according to this psychopath, John Kerry’s willingness to even CONSIDER giving gays the right to get married was more detrimental to the future of our country than the PROVEN facts that George Bush blatantly lied about the war, was robbing citizens of basic rights and sending our economy into the shitter.

I can’t.

But back to those old adages… Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And I for one cannot WAIT to see this hateful S.O.B burn.

Lord… PUH-lease give me the strength.


So Bethany Storro, the woman in Vancouver, Washington who’s heart-wrenching story about having battery acid splashed on her own face by some random, crazed black woman was all over the national news this past week, finally admitted to throwing the disfiguring liquid on her own damn self.

BLANK STARE

Now folks talking about, “It’s so sad. No one understands why she did it.”

Um, how about this? I don’t CARE why she did it. At. All. That’s between her, the parents that didn’t love her enough and the therapist that clearly forgot to call in her prescription.

What I care about is how quickly she reached for the unidentified Black assailant card. Like really? Cause there’s that many Black women running around cold ass Washington state for her to choose that ethnicity for her attacker’s description? Bish, you’re exhausting. Eff you and the racist horse you rode in on.

I’m so thankful the police didn’t simply accept her story at face value and start rounding up Black women like it was the wild, wild West. Forreal.

And real talk, if the authorities don’t press charges for obstruction of justice, I for damn sure hope they throw her deranged, low self-esteem having ass in padded room until the end of days. Cause the world is crazy enough. We don’t need not another loony tune to be out and about with the rest of us.

It’s Friday, it’s Fashion Week and tonight is Fashion Night Out. SOOOO excited.


I didn’t partake in the tomfoolery last year because I was on some godforsaken deadline or the other. Not that much has changed but this year, I’m hitting the streets regardless. I wanna party and socialize fabulously while the wealthy spend money, dammit!

Speaking of fashion, about that October 2010 Gabourey Sidibe Elle cover…. PAUSE.

While I’m thrilled for Gabourey personally, you know what… Them mean ass Elle editors KNOW that they’re DEAD ASS wrong for that bargain basement lace front and polyester green grandma dress tragedy. Especially when you compare her cover to the three other covers that they’re releasing simultaneously.

Like forreal? Why is Gabby wearing a cheesy dress from David Bridal’s mother-in-law section and dime store costume jewelry when them other hoes Amanda Seyfried and Lauren Conrad are half-naked in casual clothing???? With all the access a fashion mag like Elle has, they couldn’t find a flattering wrap dress or even ONE pair of skinny jeans and a cute top ANYWHERE in the world for this young woman??

And what School of the Visual Arts dropout photographer thought it was a good idea to zoom in all the way on the plus-size actress’s double chin and left boob but then give starving ass, admitted anorexic, Meagan Fox a full body shot?

*sucks the back of my teeth* Cut the crap.

No, Gabby may not be your conventional size 0 Hollywood beauty but she’s still a pretty girl. Had that obviously, culturally ignorant Elle Fashion Director hired the proper hair, make-up and styling team AND even more importantly given the ridiculous photographer intelligent direction; Gabby could have been wonderful.

Outward appearance aside, on a more serious level you wanna know why this cover really, really irks me?

Because behind the scenes, when Gabby’s cover doesn’t sell half as much compared to the other three covers, the powers-that-be who really make the final decisions based on numbers will say, “You see. Black women on covers don’t sell issues. Plus-size or skinny (’cause they do lump them all together), it’s simply a bad business decision to put a woman of color on our covers.”

And it’ll be another umpteenth million issues before readers will see another brown-skin, non-mixed, 110% Black woman on the cover of a major mainstream magazine. The End.

Lame.

There are few things that render me COMPLETELY speechless. And by completely speechless, feel free to envision me sitting here with my mouth wide open, eyelids peeled back, straight dumbfounded. Mm-hmmm, that ugly kinda shock.


Well this video has officially done it.

And to be fair, I recognize that this is some sacred, ancient custom that according to my shaky bakey sources started somewhere near 12 A.D. Translation: it probably deserves a whole lot more respect than what I’m thinking but… oh well.

Yooooo, when the hairy, little fat man gets to doing his thing? And then the little boy proceeds to braid his own body all the way to the top of the pole?

*does a running swan dive in the shallow end of the pool*


Just so we’re clear. I have never in my ENTIRE life been even remotely sexually curious about the average Indian man. (Something about my sensitive sense of smell just wouldn’t even let me pretend to entertain the idea of getting that close.) But after watching this craziness, I just might have to reconsider. ‘Cause not for nothing, them little mo-f’kers are flexible as HELL.

BLANK STARE.

Oh and when you finally figure out how to pick your bottom lip up off the ground, feel free to thank G. Payton for this little gem.

Hmm, so Goldman Sachs has announced that despite being legally able (for the first time ever), they will not spend any money in the 2010 elections.


Well isn’t that nice and civic oriented of them to stay out of politics and mind their business? Fingers crossed, they’ll take the money that they’re not using to buy elections and instead make a donation to various job creation, community service type organizations across this same country whose economy they’ve managed to destroy. *shrug* I’m just saying.

On the other hand, I sure wish Target had taken a clue…

It is with a broken heart that I recently learned that one of my most favoritest mass retailer has contributed $150,000 in cash and services to MN Forward, a PAC in Minnesota that supported the election of Republican Tom Emmer governor of the state.

It turns out that not only is Emmer anti-gay marriage but he also very publicly supports You Can Run But You Cannot Hide Intl., a Christian right organization that calls the execution of gays and lesbians morals.

But wait on it, when they were called to the mat for making this donation they basically responded by saying we make political decisions based on business not civic rights. (READ: To hell with your human rights, and how you feel. we’re helping out whomever is gonna keep business taxes low).

SILENCE

Corporate America sucks. And while it may be all about business to them, civic rights are important to me and all my friends. The End.
If you agree, feel free to sign the petition and let them know.

So I started out the day thinking, “Wow. I really need to say an extra prayer for President Obama. ‘Cause it seems like every other day it’s something else. If it’s not the recession, health care, BP’s oil spill or an improper firing of an official then it’s the leaking of classified military documents that make the entire administration look CRAZY for A) allowing top secret info to get out and B) continuing to send our soldiers into a war that we obviously cannot win. It’s too much.


BUT THEN, I saw the senseless tragedy that are the pics of Foxy Brown from her performance at B.B. Kings on TheYBF.com…

Umm.

First of all, who are her family and friends? Because aside the fact that some fool co-signed on the idea of a wearing brown leather mini in the middle of July- as a woman, I can take one look at this ridiculous contraption and know that she needed about two or three strong people to help squeeze her fat ass into it. So before I even go a sentence further, be very, very clear, whomever those people are- they HATE her. HATE.

Now beyond the obvious treachery, what the hell happened to her body? I’m not saying people aren’t allowed to gain weight. Especially since Foxy has clearly been on a permanent hiatus since Jay-Z stopped hitting her off with lyrics and whatever else your dirty little minds can imagine. DEAD FISH EYES. But forreal? What in the lopsided hell happened to Inga? About the skinny chicken legs, multiple Michelin tires around the waist, fat boobs hanging out around her belly button and still no eyebrows in 2010? Uh, uh Ms. Marchand, no bueno.

And the absolutely worst part to me? WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HER TEETH?? Why in the world is it all dark, black and empty where her back molars should be?? AAAHHHHH! And ya’ll already know, how I feel about the dentist… *gags* But I’ll tell you what, this rotten tooth smile nonsense right here makes me want to bump appointment up to like, tomorrow.

I mean… I’m just so sad. It’s so awful how far she’s fallen. SMH. Perhaps we should all just be thankful that her cotton panties match her nail polish.

No? Not going for that? *kanye shrug* Fuckkit. At least I tried…

*cues Brand Nubian’s ‘Slow Down’ and turns it ALL the way up*

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