Category: Mitzi- all day every day

I swear, I must have no friends. No, not a single one.

Otherwise, how could I have I NOT heard about Cee-Lo’s amazing new summer single, F*UCK YOU until this morning? What’s is it, the last freaking Friday of the season? Now mind you, I only discovered it by unintentionally clicking on some random side link on a colleague’s blog roll. SMDH. Makes no sense… Ya’ll bishes don’t care about me.

*looks directly at all my home girls and sucks the back of teeth*

Hmmm, lots going on but I was up way to late to write anything coherent about most of it. *kanye shrug* It happens.

Although, must admitI am kinda bugging about the Columbian FaceBook hit list. Three of the listed teens have alreay been killed and the cops have no suspects or concrete motive for those people selected. SMH.
Forreal, criminals using modern technology to threaten and intimidate feels like something taken straight out of a bad Will Smith action movie. I can only assume that the reason the police haven’t more proactive about investigating the killings is because they’re waiting for Bruce Willis to fly in and save the day? No?

It’s clear that technology is going to be the downfall of many more.
Shoot, just ask wackass Soulja Boy to tell you about his starring role on the most recent Kat Stacks hidden camera phone exclusive. BLANK STARE.
Mmm-hmm, come get ya stupid boy swag up close and personal in all it’s wobbly camera-phone glory. This uninspired indie features a coke-laced romp at the Atlanta Intercontinental, cringe-inducing chest & ear massages from dirty fake finger nails, and horrible cackling sound effects from the industry’s most scandalous video hooker herself. Good grief, he’s such a dummy.

*In the of the father, son and unlimited service with a data plan. Church, Let us unplug & pray*

Why lawd god, why????

Who in the hell told Fantasia she could get away with wearing a skin tight dress sans the proper undergarments? Like, in life? Let alone, for a nationally televised appearance on Good Morning America? I can’t. My eyes hurt from looking at this craziness.

Yes, I know that the super strength, full body slimmers can be kinda pricey. And yes, I understand that she was already two seconds off of dead-ass broke before racking up the new medical bills. But still…

I think I can comfortably say that the majority of us would much rather see Fanny repeat an outfit or two rather than look at pictures of her saggy boobs, side roll ripples and flabby belly hanging over the top of the generic low-rise Spanx (which for the record, should never be peeping out from under the dress, thanks).

There’s got to be a better way.

(And you know I’m trying to be a better person, because I’m not even gonna go in on the ridiculous sideburns, extra pale pink lip gloss that does nothing for her lips or how filthy the tattoos on her legs make her appear. Thank you very much.)

Quick question: What in the lost-90s-singers & rappers-vortex happened to Case and his plethora of head wear? Like forget Ne-Yo’s receeding hairline, that man right there was the original hide-ya-head R&B singer. That bad boy could seriously go from baseball cap to ski skully to straight up pantyhose all in one video, like what? Say something.

But all fun and foreheads aside, I thought he was trying to stage a comeback.What had happened? Trey Songz got him shook or something?

Cause forreal, ‘Broken Glass’ and ‘Not Your Friend’ were the straight joints back in the day! And God only knows how many folks used that damn ‘Happily Ever After’ as their wedding song. Yeah man, for a hot minute Case was the ‘ish.

Speaking of Happily Ever After, I didn’t realize Beyonce was the lead female in the video until just now. Mmm-hmmm, front and center with that big ‘ole crazy 90s freeze curls piled up on her head. Looking like a fake Cleopatra in the empty museum.

Too funny.

So err-um, about this new Rolling Stones cover featuring the cast of True Blood…


*squints eyes and cocks head to the side*

I don’t know, can’t say I’m feeling it.

Granted, I do not watch the series. Like, at all. And trust, not because I haven’t tried. But as much as I love me some Anna Paquin, her horrendous New Orleans accent on the series makes my nerves as bad as nails on a chalkboard. Seriously.

And now this photo- which truth be told, just looks like some boiled skinless chicken seasoned with blood?

Yeah, I’ll pass. Thanks.

So I just read that the REAL reason Jermaine Dupri and Janet finally fell out is because he cheated on her with a stripper. And wait on it… knocked homegirl up. PAUSE. Umm, people still impregnate strippers in 2010? WOWOWOW.

If this is true, not only is that midget unattractive but he’s extra stoopid. The End.
But speaking of extra stoopid, remember his trusty sidekick Da Brat?? You know the crazy chick with all the braids that served time for slapping a cocktail waitress across the back of her head with a rum bottle? Yeah, that one. I hear she’s outta prison. Wonder what that’s looking like….
*gags*
Although, I gotta say- For a stone cold lesbian she sure had some of the dopest lookin’ dudes in this video right here…. Mmm-hmm.

The message in this ad gave me LIFE.


I LOVE the way NIKE distinguished themselves from just another pair of sneakers that will allegedly tone your thighs for a cool $115. Nope. Their marketing department was straight up like, our joints will give you a juicy booty. So if you’re blessed to have or want a big, round butt, bump the apologies, cop these kicks and Just Do It.

*slow clap*

Now mind you, even though I’m clear that wearing the them from now until Kingdom come is never, ever, ever going to help achieve that there ass in the ad, I still want a pair (and the direct number to her personal trainer/plastic surgeon/ vodoo priest). NOW.

That is all.

Must admit, I’m actually kinda loving this new Trey Songz single, ‘Can’t Be Friends’.

Catchy little tune, interesting lyrics… Not bad at all. Who knew? This perpetually half-naked, little boy might be onto something. Well hold up lemme clarify, that is as long as he swears to never, ever, EVER try to sing Purple Rain again. IN. LIFE.

Press Play & Enjoy:

Happy early Birthday to you-

Happy early Birthday to you-
Happy early BIRFDAY PRESIDENT OBAMAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Happy early Birthday to YOU!

So in case you haven’t heard, Wednesday the 4th is our President’s 49th birthday…. Hard to believe he’s still under 50 considering how much he’s visually aged since taking office. *shrug* I’m just saying.

So what do you think he’s going to wish for this year? The end of the recession, a stop to the all the oil leaks, a more cooperative Congress, world peace? Or maybe that man just wants Michelle to jump out a cake and one of those new 3-D televisions. You tell me.

Either way, I SURE hope this next year is a lot better than the last. Cause I’m not sure how many more apologies and appearances on the View I’m going to be able to take.
BLANK STARE
Oh and in case you haven’t already, please go sign his official online birthday card! This birthday boy needs all the love we can muster right about now.

Although to the naked eye it may appear that I’m slowly perspiring to death in this record breaking heat and humidity, thanks to the lovely folks at The GAP, I’m already chilling in the Fall.


Yessir, because in addition to last week’s adorable distressed cropped jean jacket (that you actually still have one day left to enter & win a free one HERE), I just received a pair of their new denim leggings.

Can I tell you? No bullish, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Like budget be damned, I’m so about to go buy an additional pair immediately.

They feel just as thick as last year’s 1969 Premium jeans (which remain at the front of my closet) and like your fave pair of leggings are super duper tight. Super. Duper.

READ: it fits every shape imaginable but we’ll ALL have to wiggle a lil’ something to get into them.

Did I mention that at full price they only cost $69.50?

Pish, c’mon son. I’ll see you in the checkout line.

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