Mitzi Moments

Category: Mitzi- all day every day

filling my prescription early…

By on June 17, 2010 in cuteness kills, i'm not ready to be a grandmother, Mitzi- all day every day

So today’s the day the FDA decides whether to approve a drug to boost women’s libido a.k.a. the highly anticipated Viagra for females… Interesting.


I see a lot of experts are on the fence because they believe a lowered libido in women is less physical than mental. And therefore, they feel it should be treated with psychotherapy or counseling versus medication. And quietly, they probably have a valid point.

But I’ll tell you what- if God forbid, my libido ever slows down, I don’t want to spend a single, solitary minute talking about wanting to have sex. Nope, not even one. Just gimme the damn pill and let me get back to getting it on.

DEAD FISH EYES

Seriously, can you imagine how many relationships and marriages would be saved if all a woman had to do was pop a pill and suddenly be turned on by their partner? Man listen…

Just LOOK at the majority of men you know who are in their late 30s, early 40s. How many of them have already noticeably deteriorated from rock hard, 6-pack toting, he-can-get-it-all-day, 20 year-olds into the extra comfy, soft tummy, man boobs and flabby arms cause the most consistent exercises they’re doing are talking ish to their boys and lifting the remote control grown men? Mmm-hmm… Now wait on it, imagine what that’s gonna look like at 65??

*grabs the smelling salts*

And don’t get me wrong, I’m no more mad at the dudes than they are with us women. Change is a part of life. Fuck what Dr. 90210 told ya, having the body of a 21 year-old until the day you die is NOT NATURAL. I refuse to be working out 5 days a week for the rest of my life. No way. And neither should my husband. ‘Cause when I’m 75 years old I d not want the man in my bed to be all hard body, knees, and elbows. Uh-uh, to hell with that. Yours truly is gonna need something nice and easy to cuddle up with on them cold nights.

HOWSOMEVER, if said soft & squishy man expects me to be gonna be playing find-the-penis under his 6 pound belly on a regular basis then a little picker-upper will probably go a long way. The End.

*drops the mic and walks away*

a little too sunnyside up is all…

By on June 15, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

So Drake’s highly anticipated 1st studio album finally drops today…


*crickets*

Err-um yeah, think I’m gonna wait a minute on that one. Oh and let me be clear, not b/c I don’t believe it has the potential to be a good album. I’m sure it will be more than fine. I mean, the kid is talented- overexposed- but certainly talented.

And speaking of overexposed, I honestly think I’m just a little tapped out on the emo-rap right now… Granted, first it was Successful, then it was the Best He Ever Had, next he was trying to Find Your Love, certainly there were Fireworks but now, it’s Over.


BLANK STARE

I’m sure with enough airplay in the hood over the summer, I’ll soon recover from this temp aversion. But for right here, right now, the whole ‘I’m a suffered rapper who rhymes about running through young impressionable girls like a car wash b/c one random girl didn’t support my dream & broke my heart into a ka-million pieces’ has run it’s course.

Thanks.

give that girl a standing (sol)o…

By on June 14, 2010 in cuteness kills, Mitzi- all day every day

Wow, I really like the dress that Solange has on in this picture. Granted, I’m not so sure about the clunky shoes and absolutely HATE the disheveled afro weave with -gasp- bangs (that I’ll bet you a ka-million dollars she thought completed the whole ethnic ‘look’) but still… I’m really, really feeling this dress.


*stands up and starts the slow hand clap*

Werk it Solo, WERK!!

Just so you know, the reason my admiration is blogworthy is because well… I’m not a fan of homegirl. Oh and even worse her Curious George-esque sense of style.

DEAD FISH EYES

Don’t get me wrong. I understand that fashion is all about expressing individuality. And that being a true trendsetter means pushing the envelope, staying ahead of the curve and yada,yada, yada…. But whatever with all that. ‘Cause at the end of the day, when I look at Solange and everything about her appearance and behavior scream one thing to me: ‘passive aggressive whoring for attention’.

And guess what? I’d rather not.

Here’s the thing: If deep down inside you want people to watch and obsess over your every move, then be about it. Admit you wanna rule the world and don’t stop until you achieve superstar status. It’s a lot… but I can definitely respect that.

What I cannot respect is the fake-out tomfoolery. You know, like getting knocked up at 17, attempting to justify a messy shotgun marriage by insisting he was your high school sweetheart when your ass were home schooled, randomly going off on journalist/reporters that question your choices, using a common haircut as a publicity stunt, singing 1.5 decent songs out of waaaaay too many and then pretending like you don’t understand why folks are bothering to talk shit.

I’m just saying.

But back to the dress. I’m feeling like I need that article of clothing in my life. So if anyone could point me in the direction of the designer, I’d be much obliged. ‘Preciate ya.

psst, i’m a rattler…

By on June 9, 2010 in keep hope alive, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

So freaking excited! Today I’m going to be one of the esteemed featured panelists at the Abyssinian Development Corporation’s COLLEGE, HERE I COME Youth Forum! Woo Hooo, go Mitzi! Get busy! Go Mitzi! (insert image of me doing the cabbage patch mad hard)


So basically, instead of doing boring grown-up work, yours truly will be spending a good portion of my day at Thurgood Marshall Academy for Learning & Social Change discussing the importance/ benefits of obtaining a higher education with 75-100 impressionable middle school kids. (READ: dazzling them with my craziest PG-rated college stories and totally bragging my behind off about how awesome it was to attend the BESTEST HBCU in the universe, Florida A&M University).

CANNOT WAIT.

happy memorial day weekend…

By on May 26, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day, the adventures of mitzi carmen and carla, using our powers for good

Did you know that AT& T and Verizon both support politicians opposed to women’s right to choose, that are pro-war and anti-environment?


Apparently, in addition to giving the maximum to McCain’s 2008 presidential campaign, AT&T was a repeat contributor to Sen. Tom Colburn (R-Okla,), who opposes abortion even in the cases of rape and has advocated the death penalty for doctors who perform abortions. It also contributed to Sen James Inhofe (R-Okla,), who called the threat of global warming the “greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people.”

BLANK STARE.

Oh and at the same time, Verizon was busy contributing to the Texas Freedom Fund, a PAC that backed loudass war proponent Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) and Rep. Tom Price (R-Ga.), who earned a consistent 0% from NARAL Pro-Choice America and Planned Parenthood as recently as last term. But even better, contributed to Rep. Ander Crenshaw (R-Fl.), who voted against drilling prohibitions in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and strong fuel-economy standards.

DEAD SILENCE.

Right. So just when I was going to complain about my janky Sprint Blackberry Curve that doesn’t allow me to have international access, how ’bout I shut the hell up and enjoy my vacay?? Mm-hmm, think I’ll do that.

Talk to ya’ll on Wednesday!

they got it just right…

By on May 5, 2010 in keep hope alive, Mitzi- all day every day

I love how the universe works. The other day when the weather started to catch a ‘tude and rain on my parade, I realized how long it’d been since I’d gone to the movies. And I made a mental noted to go see something-anything in the near future. And then, voila! My homie invited me to the premiere of the new Queen Latifah/ Common flick, Just Wright.

*insert image of my ta-dow grin*

Bear in mind, while I love me some Latifah (unless she’s singing) and enjoy Common musically, I wasn’t necessarily convinced that I wanted to see the two of them get it on on the big screen. And then Paula Patton trying to be funny? DEAD FISH EYES.

But I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised.

Latifah is on point for this role. In addition to being Cover Girl beautiful, her sense of comedic timing gets significantly better with every movie. Mind you, Paula Patton was PERFECT as the hooch gold-digger. Who knew?? I’m not going to give anything away but just wait until you see her in the morning scene after the party. Hee-larious. And not for nothing, as long as he had his pants on Common was alright with me (yeah, the whole knobby knees/ skinny calves was a wee bit distracting for the kid). It’s very obvious he’s been working with a new acting couch on this.

I’m not gonna lie, the plot was relatively predictable. But STILL, it was sososo cute. It’s beyond refreshing to see a well done romantic comedy with strong black actors. No lie, for that hot hour and fifteen minutes, I totally fell in love with the idea of romance and love all over again. *swoons and spins in pirouette* Happy Sigh.

Hopefully, this will be the start of another round of movies featuring Black actors worth coughing up the $12.50 to see.

*side-eyes Madea while crossing fingers, toes, legs, arms*

everyday a star is born…

By on May 4, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day

Okay, today’s post is courtesy of my homie G-Payton. Who bless his little heart, keeps my inbox full of the tomfoolery. For those who have had the pleasure of viewing the ‘Yes Dance’ video (an earlier GP jewel), you already know. So please do not ask me where, how or WHY he found this particular video. But please be clear- my mouth remains WIDE OPEN.


It’s just so… I’m feel so… I mean, are these dudes straight? Even if they’re not hetero, as grown men, how do you even coordinate something like this???

Wait, wait, I know! It probably went a little something like this:

Boy 1: “Yo, I got a dope idea.”
Boy 2: “What, what’s up?”
Boy 1: “Let’s strip down to our shorts and baseball caps and then gyrate for the camera.”
*There’s a moment of silence. and then…
Boy 3: “Yoooo, that’s hot son! That is so hot!”
Boy 1: “And hold up, hold up- we can even have solos and shit…”
Boy 3:”Word! I’m down!”
*Everyone gets hype and starts jumping around the dorm-sized living room. Except for…
Boy 4: “I don’t know ya’ll… Cause I’m still working on physique for bikini season.”
Boy 5: Okay, well you hold the camera. Just make sure you zoom in close on me when it my turn for the solo…”
Boy 6: Whatever my dude, just be sure you hold the camera steady when I get to dropping it like it’s hot.”
Boy 2: “True, true.”
Boy 4: “Trust me my dudes, I’mma make ya’ll famous!”
*Grabs the camera, cues the music and voila!

BLANK STARE

they’re back…

By on April 30, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

Unfortunately, instances have become few and far in between, but there are still days when being an independent journalist does have it’s perks.


This was definitely one of them.

Thanks to the kind folks at Sony Pictures, I just got to watch an advance screening of the long awaited season 3 premiere of The Boondocks. Woo Hoo, Go Mitzi!!

And I have to tell you, it was definitely worth the wait.

I’m not going to give the plot way but be clear Aaron McGruder is a genius. And I so heart his little subversive mind. And quite honestly, if you watch this episode and don’t laugh at crazy ass Riley, self loathing Uncle Ruckus or the ridiculous car wash getaway scene then we can be friends.

And who wants that?

Be sure to tune in, THIS Sunday at 11.30p on the Adult Swim.

file a missing persons report…

By on April 27, 2010 in cuteness kills, Mitzi- all day every day

This is really random but… what in the world happened to Jennifer Lopez?

No, not as in what physically happened to her but more like what happened to the IDEA of Jennifer Lopez? You know the unstoppable Latina flygirl who armed with a black girl booty, bedazzled bandanna headbands, and relentless off-key hit songs rode that 6-train till the doors fell off? I’m just saying…

Jenny from the Block was living proof that with the right no-slip double-sided tape anything was possible.

And now what?

Lat year’s highly-anticipated return album went certified double dust (who in the hot hell thought a song reppin’ $900 Louboutin shoes at the height of a freaking recession was a good look??) and her new movie (which I actually kinda thought had a cute premise) straight belly flopped. Oh and let’s not even talk about how her patented moniker got snatched and recycled by greasy looking self-proclaimed guidette, J.Woww.

DEAD FISH EYES
You ain’t hear it from me but, Marc Anthony gots to be the devil.

touchdown…

By on April 25, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

Oh shoot, oh shoot! I am SO excited, I can hardly type! I just read in the NYT that after a tragic banishment to cable, Friday Night Lights (one of my most favoritest shows EVER) is coming back to NBC for its fourth season!! WOO HOO!!!

Honestly, I don’t even know HOW in the world I fell head over heels in love a show about a small little backwoods town in Texas…

BLANK STARE

Oh wait, yes I do. Smash Williams a.k.a Gaius Charles. Lord have mercy that boy is F-I-N-E. READ: I’d pay to watch this man BREATHE for hours on end if it was an option. *simultaneously fans self and reaches for the wet wipes*Anyhoo, eventually my borderline obsession with ‘Smash’ eventually lead to me getting all caught up in the actual storyline of the show and voila, here we are.

So come May 7th, Jesus be a plateful of warm chocolate chip cookies, glass of cheap red and a comfy seat in the middle of my couch cause it is ON!

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