Mitzi Moments

Category: Mitzi- all day every day

there’s a limit to the stupidity…

By on November 10, 2010 in end of days, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

WOWOWOW, Amazon.com is BUGGING.


How in the ‘twisted-unethical-hell’ are they selling a book entitled, ‘The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure’???? And wait on it, the freaking product description boldly states:

“This is my attempt to make pedophile situations safer for those juveniles that find themselves involved in them, by establishing certain rules for these adults to follow. I hope to achieve this by appealing to the better nature of pedosexuals, with hope that their doing so will result in less hatred and perhaps liter sentences should they ever be caught.”
(FYI- the spelling errors are all theirs not mine.)

BLANK STARE w/ 3 LOONG BLINKS


*gags*

For the record:
1 in 4 girls in the United States have been sexually abused
1 in 6 boys in the United States have been sexually abused

And Amazon thinks it’s a good idea to sell a how-to guide for perverts and sexual deviants 2 months before Christmas???

SMH. Greed is a bish.


**UPDATE** Do to the overwhelming negative response and consumer threats of a massive boycott weeks before Christmas, Amazon has decided to stop selling the book. READ: Money talks & bullshit walks.

co-signing on this one…

By on October 15, 2010 in it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

Well alrighty then. Looks like all the single moms have a new pint-sized champion. And you know what, I am not so mad. This video is super cute and the message is waaaay overdue.

Although, I have to say it’s kinda pathetic that it takes a fourteen year-old rapper to make it clear to grown ass men that it’s not appropriate to harass and cat call women (ever) but especially in front of their children.

BLANK STARE w/ 3 LOOONG BLINKS

Get it Astronomical Kid.
*Now if we could just get a song for the pregnant ladies getting catcalls…*

i wanna do-over…

By on October 11, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue

Funny, I was just watching Lupe Fiasco’s ‘I’m Beamin’ video on YouTube & wondering when in the music-business-red-tape-hell his label was going to put out his next album. And then, VOILA! Lupe and Pharrell are featured on Kanye’s latest weekly release, ‘Don’t Stop‘.


Now, that’s the good news of the day.

The bad news?

Um yeah, I don’t like this single. At. All.

Mind you, before anyone jumps down my throat- I’ve listened to it three times already. So please believe, it’s not that I didn’t TRY to enjoy. But at the end of the day, I just wasn’t impressed. Sure, speeding up the song tempo makes for an interesting change of pace. But, in my humble opinion being different doesn’t always make for good listening material.

And this song is a pain-in-the-butt to listen to.

No offense.

black done cracked…

By on October 5, 2010 in cuteness kills, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue

Well goddamn, what in the accelerated aging process happened to Craig David??


Last time I looked he was this young British upstart with penchant for knit ski caps and EXTREMELY well groomed eyebrows boppin’ around to his adorable single, ‘Fill Me In‘.

And now…

Shoot, negro looks like he been living through HARD times (and more than his far share of steroid shots to the ass).

Sigh. All I can say is, “let us pray.”

*bows head & passes collection plate*

look at eddie’s white play cousin…

By on September 29, 2010 in desperate cry for help, made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, too old for the road, why we as a people can't get ahead

Initially, I thought today’s post was going to be about Eddie Long’s 3rd accuser giving his first televised interview. Mm-hmm… *starts to hum & sway*

But then, I saw this story about Andrew Shirvell. And oh.my. GOD.

For six months, this grown ass white man in Ann Arbor, Michigan has basically waged a HATE campaign against the University of Michigan Student Body Assembly President Chris Armstrong (emphasis on student) because he’s gay.

BLANK STARE.

And when I say campaign, in addition to physically protesting outside of this poor COLLEGE STUDENT’s apartment, Shirvell created a website dedicated to “exposing” this child as, ‘a radical homosexual, racist, elitist, & liar.’ Talking about, “Armstrong has gone back on a campaign promise he made to minority students; engaging in “flagrant sexual promiscuity” with another male member of the student government; sexually seducing and influencing “a previously conservative [male] student” so much so that the student, according to Shirvell, “morphed into a proponent of the radical homosexual agenda”; hosting a gay orgy in his dorm room in October 2009; and trying to recruit incoming first-year students “to join the homosexual ‘lifestyle.”‘

But wait on it, in addition to his frequent vitriol filled updates he also posted pictures of Armstrong with obscenities written over them a la Perez Hilton and wait on it- swastika superimposed over a gay pride flag, with an arrow pointing toward Armstrong.

Um, where they do that at??

Mind you, this lunatic is an Assistant Attorney General for the State of Michigan. So it’s not like he just graduated from college last semester and that’s why he still feels vested in the on campus politics. No. He BEEN out of college! He’s grown as hell picking a fight with a damn CHILD.

And then, the video? With him looking and sounding like a whiny, hatin’ ass, repressed homosexual???

No sir. I. Will. Not.

*immediately cues Willow Smith*

look at what willow started…

By on September 27, 2010 in i'm not ready to be a grandmother, it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, why we as a people can't get ahead

And so it begins… the attack of the adolescent R&B singers. SMDH. Can please tell what in the auto-tune hell do these little boys know about girls loving them down? Perhaps it’s just me but, why are they even on cellphones enough to be singing about this nonsense? Shouldn’t their little skinny behinds be in a classroom LEARNING some ‘ish or something?

BLANK STARE

Here’s the thing, I’m not mad at little kids wanting to be performers and singing their little hearts out- if it’s Disney appropriate. Why? Cause that’s the appropriate demo. But when you’ve got CHILDREN running around wearing deep cut v-neck t-shirts, pretending to be grown before they even hit the double digits, it’s a totally different story.

Were are they going to go from here? Songs about seduction? Um, no thank you. We’ve already got a rising pre-teen pregnancy problem in our communities. I’mma need their management to pull out the Jonas Brothers blueprint and get on that. Leave the gyrating in florescent lit hallways to Trey Songz, et al. Forreal.

Oh, and if somebody don’t explain the length of Ray-Ray’s damn hair… *grabs scissors*

put down the doughnuts…

By on September 16, 2010 in going to hell in a handbasket, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

Oh the NYPD meter maids… SMH.


It just so tragic how seriously this mean-spirited division of the police department takes itself. Like, it’s not our fault you couldn’t even qualify to fight REAL crime. Tell you what, instead of taking it out on every tom, dick and harry who’s car is even remotely parked near a dead fire hydrant, why don’t you go workout and study a little something? So maybe one day, you can catch a real criminal. No, too much like right? I figured.

*rolls eyes*

So check this out: according to the NY Post a NYPD traffic cop was so busy ticketing a car parked on the wrong side during alternate side of the street cleaning, that the dummy chick didn’t even notice the driver was sitting in the car- DEAD. Oh and wait on it, it’s not like the corpse was leaned back against the seat where he could’ve been mistaken for sleeping. Nope. Homeboy overdosed and died with his body straight slumped over the steering wheel. Can you imagine?

BLANK STARE

Bish, I know all you do for 8 hours is ride around in a little go-cart and bring misery to drivers. But forreal, forreal aren’t you a trained POLICE OFFICER? How you leave a ticket on the windshield and don’t even bother to make sure the car is unattended? Shouldn’t you of all people be AWARE of your surroundings at all times? How you busy telling me, if you see something say something but your oblivious ass ain’t notice a damn CORPSE??

And all fun and games aside, what if dude had been a victim of a violent crime and the perpetrator was still in the area looking for the next victim?? But no. Miss Thang was so busy trying to get back to that ice latte she probably left in the car, she completely missed the actual opportunity to PROTECT & SERVE our community.

Waste of my damn taxes dollars.

so not hannah montana certified…

By on September 13, 2010 in i'm not ready to be a grandmother, it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, why we as a people can't get ahead

I had such a good weekend! I swear, it was full of so many firsts….

Attended my first Fashion Night Out (copped the crazy hot pink lipstick that will be making appearances all fall/winter long). I finally visited to Six Flags/ Great Adventures where I rode on an adult roller coaster for the first time (so damn scary, I will NEVER do that again). Oh and thanks to last night’s extra uninteresting VMA show, I actually heard my first Justin Bieber (eh, reminds me of a less talented Justin Timberlake without as much flexibility).

Nope, I can’t complain at all.

Speaking of underage performers with way too much hype, I’m curious to know what you guys think about Willow Smith’s new first single, Whip My Hair.

While I’m the first to admit that the song has a great beat/ contagious lyrics, doesn’t it concern you at all that a freaking 9 year-old is the one singing these lyrics? Like forreal, homegirl isn’t even ten and she’s already talking about having “haters”? I mean not to be funny but ain’t Willow and her brother home schooled? Who hating on her? Listen… *sucks the back of my teeth HARD* That child doesn’t even have friends, let alone haters. So, what’s next? A song about her falling in love? At NINE??? I can’t with that image.
Oh and if nothing else, lemme ask you this: While all that sass is really adorable on a music record, is it gonna be as cute when your little niece, nephew and godkids start whippin’ their hair at you?

BLANK STARE.

Right. Didn’t think so.

I’mma need Jada to try and find some age appropriate subject matter for her daughter PRONTO. Cause right now, lil Willow is steady reminding me of those nosey little kids that are always busy eavesdropping on their parents conversations when they should be playing with friends. And then, repeating back the gossip like they’re an authority. Uh-uh, too grown.

Love the Smiths as a Hollywood powerhouse but this right here is truly bordering on a parental fail.

it wouldn’t have been me…

By on August 31, 2010 in it's not a game out there, Mitzi- all day every day, why we as a people can't get ahead

Okay this is random as hell but my scanner hates me. I’ve been sitting here for the past hour trying to scan 3 raggedy ass articles that I wrote a THOUSAND years ago into a PDF file and it refuses to co-operate. I swear I’m about to jump out my freaking window… Woosah.


Now that i’ve gotten that off my chest, did you guys hear about Mahesh the tiger that jumped a 14-ft fence at a public wildlife preserve in South Florida called Jungle Island?

Mm-hmm, apparently, the craziness all started when one of the monkeys managed to escape from it’s own cage. After swinging around the food court area, the smart ass primate decided to go and harass the tiger. Well, I guess Mahesh wasn’t in the mood for the bullshit. And with a single running leap, the 700-lb cat cleared the fence (which is actually 2 feet higher than regulation height) and landed in the park with the totally unprepared patrons. But wait on it, the official spokesperson for the preserve had the never to tell news reporters that, “I know it’s hard to believe, but the folks in the park really weren’t in any danger. Cause the tiger is “used to people.” Really?

BLANK STARE.

Oh but my favorite part? The folks in the video that hung around long enough to see the tiger wander around, brush up against a pregnant woman and come within 10-feet of them. Yo. Who waits for all that to happen? At the very WHISPER of a wild animal escaping it’s cage, I’m BOUNCING. Like, the Road Runner- I’m gone. Trust, I don’t give a damn what a tiger looks like up close. At. All.

Good luck.

baby powder on aisle 9…

By on August 30, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

Sooo, did anyone actually watch the Emmy Awards last night?


*crickets*

Yeah me neither. Oddly, I’ve been on a self-imposed TV timeout for the past couple of weeks. Honestly, not sure what I’m going through… but oh wells. Perhaps, I’ll get back at it when the new fall season line-up rolls out. Or not.

Needless to say, not watching the actual telecast certainly didn’t prohibit me from eyeballing all the red carpet arrival pictures. And I gotta say, the fashion this year? Um, BORING. Like, I don’t know about you guys but I’m so over the one-shoulder, draped, layered, gauzy, bedazzled Grecian column dress I could vomit. Seriously. Can we please leave that look in 2009 and move on? Please and thanks.

Oh and while I can totally understand going the extra mile to avoid getting caught out on the carpet with ashy skin; there’s a definitive line between properly moisturized and plain ‘ole greasy. And err-um Rutina Wesley? Sweetie, you my dear missed the mark. Completely.

Now, don’t get me wrong- it is always exciting to see a new, beautiful, brown-skin actress working any red carpet that does NOT lead into the 100-millionth Rick Ross album premiere party. Howsomever…

There was absolutely no reason for homegirl to look like she straight jumped out of a vat of Vaseline and into her designer gown. (Which was actually kinda cute- when you tilt your head and squint your eyes a little something). Nope, none at all. And whomever the hell thought it was good idea to slather her from head to toe in grandma’s petroleum jelly and then send her out into the sun to sizzle like a damn pork rind needs to be bitch slapped.

The End.

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