Mitzi- all day every day | Mitzi Moments

a mouthful…

By Mitzi on July 19, 2010 in cuteness kills, Mitzi- all day every day

Uuugh, just got the call from the dentist’s office. It’s time for the bi-annual cleaning. FML.

I hate going to the dentist. No, I mean I really, really HATE going to the dentist. Like, I get freaked out from the moment I enter the building until my feet hit the sidewalk on the way home. And please don’t let me me actually need to have something more than a quick cleaning done… Oh uh-uh, more times than I care to share, tears have rolled down my face in that godforsaken office.

DEAD FISH EYES.

And I understand that I should be used to it by now but no matter how hard I try and psyche myself into thinking it’s no big deal, I can’t relax. I just don’t like anyone scraping, scratching and lasering all up in my mouth. Cause not for nothing but the minute they mess up, I gotta walk around a shitty wreck for the next week or so. And I don’t care how apologetic they are, there’s NOTHING worse than when your teeth hurt. You can’t eat, sleep, hear, or even think without being in pain! Sigh.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. I guess I’ll call this chick back and make my appointment. Dammit.

tell the truth, shame da devil…

By Mitzi on July 15, 2010 in made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

Hold up one goddamn minute! Why’d I just hear on the radio that K-Ci and Jo-Jo have a new album AND a reality show coming soon? BLANK STARE. You know what… the Devil is a liar and I will not succumb. Nope, no ma’am I will not. I rebuke this tomfoolery in the name of Dalvin, Devonte and an old school Mary J ass whooping.

*backflips into a bedazzled Walmart casket*

I’m so sorry, but dem two crackheads have been nothing but two strong hits out of a grave for the longest. Exhibit A: the above video clip where Jo-Jo falls the hell out mid-performance and K-Ci kindly steps over that big ass as he continues to wail, OOOOOOOO YEAH!!!

Uh, huh. And you know why? Cause he sees that nigga black out e’ryday and what?

So no. I CANNOT imagine what kind of “hot” new material they could call themselves putting out…. Unless it’s an instrumental album accompanied by sounds of an inhale, choke and cough.

DEAD FISH EYES

SMH. Forget about that Dru Hill nonsense that Keith Sweat is trying to peddle. This right here is about to be a damn shame of Whitney & Bobby epic proportions…

*immediately jots down reminder note to be on the look out for commercials*

puttin myself in the timeout corner…

By Mitzi on July 7, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

For the record, I had the bestest time down in New Orleans. I literally ate till I made myself sick- catfish, po’boys, oysters, alligator sausage, friend chicken liver, beignets and hurricanes galore. And then was back at it 20 min later- No judgements please. Saw some really great shows for free- Janet and Mary tore the Superdome DOWN. And that’s to say nothing of the plethora of friendly eye candy…

Cough *you already know* Cough

Yeah, it was a pretty fantastic. But it’s nice to be back in New York. Even with the 102 degree weather, there’s still no place like home.

Howsomever, part of being back at the crib means making the money to keep the A/C on. Le Sigh. So in an effort to catch up on some very overdue work, I’m gonna have to take the rest of the week off from the tomfoolery and focus.

No worries, I promise to be back at it next Monday. Until then…

*cues Empire State of Mind at maximum volume*

feeling real jazzy…

By Mitzi on July 2, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

Are you ready for the weekend?!? I sure am. ‘Cause yours truly will be celebrating the Fourth of July down in N’awlins at my very first Essence Music Festival.

READ: eating myself into a complete cajun stupor for the next the three and a half days.

*wipes the string drool dangling from the corner of my mouth*

So while I’m busy putting back on the pounds that my trainer has so painstakingly helped me lose over the last 2 months and jammin’ on the ones to Alicia, Mary and Janet “Ms. Jackson If You Nasty’, you all have yourselves a wonderful holiday weekend!

*cues the soundtrack to Treme and gets to steppin’*

BBQs, Warm Weather & Fireworks for E’rybody!!!

hope she’s workin somewhere w a cool breeze…

By Mitzi on June 30, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

So this is what the redesigned Wonder Woman cartoon looks like, huh?

*struggles to find something nice to say*

Yeah no, I’m not a fan. She just seems extremely pale, super slimmed down, way more conservatively dressed and her overall vibe so damn dark. Like forreal, what’s really hood with the burgundy colored lipstick in 2010 and black dog collar? And please don’t get me started on those random square-toed boots. Hellloooo…. don’t you think by now, Wonder Woman would’ve upgraded her shoe game to a fly ass pair of stiletto boots??

BLANK STARE

At the end of the day, I don’t understand the need to even update her to this extreme. Not for nothing with Beyonce, Lady Gaga, et al, making leotards and tights acceptable day wear, it’s extremely plausible that she’d still be running around kicking ass in a shiny vintage onesie with stars on her booty.

Shoot, if you were the superhero, wouldn’t you?

speech, speech…

By Mitzi on June 30, 2010 in it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day

Oooh-ee, it’s good to be me today. Not only did I finally get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, but I woke up in one healthy piece to celebrate the 12 year anniversary of my liver transplant! Yep, TWELVE YEARS. Can you imagine? WOO HOO!!!

*cartwheels across the living room*

Now normally, I’d spend this day running the streets with my mom or BFFs. BUT in light of the recession, an impending bar examination and recent births, I’m forced to stay my fast ass at home and accomplish some work. Le Sigh. But before I return to the grown-up portion of this 2nd life…

I wanna give a quick shout to all the people and things that have helped me see another year:

-God... for blessing me in more ways than I’ll ever know. Good lookin’ on the save this past summer. It was definitely a little nervous but as always you came through.

-Elsa… for being my being my sounding board. I know I be talking a straight hole in your head but if not you, who?

-My Entire Family… I never underestimate the importance of knowing the origin of my craziness. Not to mention all the great home-cooked meals you guys have provided along the way!

-My Meds… I realize that very transplant recipient isn’t lucky enough to find the right combination. I appreciate every handful that I’ve swallowed.

-My Friends… Ya’ll knuckleheads inspire, motivate and amaze me with the non-stop shenanigans. I am so blessed to have folks in my life that I can depend on to flip a table or two when i’sh hits the fan. In return, I promise to change all names and incriminating details when I drop the tell-all.

-My Mentors… I stand on the shoulders of giants, especially when it comes to my career. ‘Preciate all the fab women and men who have talked my scary behind through my moments of crisis.

-My Agents… Your subtle threats get me up and working every morning. I appreciate your steadfast faith. And any moment now, I pinkie swear to deliver on those proposals.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

-The Brazee Family… Your selfless generosity during a time of unspeakable tragedy is the reason that I am here today. Truly, there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not aware of the second chance that I was given because of your loss. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

*curtsies and exits stage left*

those are some great shoes…

By Mitzi on June 24, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

Whew! Good gracious it’s hot outside!

*fans self like the fat ladies at Sunday service*

Now, I’m not complaining cause Lord knows I’ll take a 90 degree day over the miserable winter cold every trip. Howsomever, this type of muggy heat seriously affects my ability to concentrate. Kinda like I have a heat induced ADD or some such nonsense… And the only thing I can think about is finding the nearest pool with a cute boys like Mechad Brooks popping up out the water.

Anyhoo, until my brain cools down , think I’m just gonna listen to music that makes me smile and keep trying to write something that makes sense.

Get into it.

how the mighty keep falling…

By Mitzi on June 23, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

Tell you what, it is a BAAAAAD day to be Lawrence Taylor. Apparently, this morning the former Giant great was officially indicted for rape, committing a criminal sexual act and sexual abuse. So basically, dude is looking at a potential max of THREE YEARS in a box behind this tomfoolery.

SILENCE.

You know what… I. Can’t.

When are ya’ll Negroes with money gonna learn? STOP paying for ass from women of unclear purpose. STOP having unprotected sex with the same chick ya boy banged out at last year’s all-star weekend. STOP bringing hookers to your real homes. STOP taking nekkid pictures on the cell phone you lose every other month. STOP wifen’ out strippers, exotic dancers, studio rats or whatever you wanna call them. And TRY to act like you have a drop of God-given commonsense.

It’s really, really not that hard.

On a lighter note, the above video courtesy of Miss Jia and the Anti-Bitch Antagonist is the answer to EVERYTHING this wonderful summer morning. Like the nice lady on the cell phone says when your call is connecting: Please enjoy the music!

eye on the prize & the crazy white woman…

By Mitzi on June 21, 2010 in cuteness kills, Mitzi- all day every day, work it white girl

So today is the first day of the Catherine Malandrino summer sample sale. Normally, I’d be dancing on table tops in eager anticipation of all the beautiful goodies that I was about to score at 40-60% off retail.

Howsomever, out of respect for my 2010 personal savings goal (oh you know, to have some sorta savings to leave behind for my kids when I kick the bucket), I will not be attending.

SILENCE

For those that know me and how happy those dresses make me, this is a tragedy that borders on epic proportions. READ: had it not been for the long, hard come to Jesus with my accountant AND my therapist, I’d probably put my damn self on suicide watch for the next three days.

*inhales deeply and exhales slowly*

Yes, it’s that serious to me.

Perhaps the only thing helping me through my self-imposed shopping fast is the fantastic news that the third season of The Rachel Zoe Project featuring my favoritest fashion bish of all time, Rachel Zoe kicks off on August 3rd. WOO HOO!

And wait on it… come Fall 2011, that neurotic lunatic will be launching her own fashion line including apparel, accessories and shoes. OMG, I DIE!

*the angels start to sing*

Whew! Okay, frivolous girlie moment is over, back to work.

bout to cop ron’s new single & a bag of tht indian yaki…

By Mitzi on June 18, 2010 in it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

Couple of things and then its back to grind:

1. Congrats to the LA Lakers! I am not and will never be a fan of Kobe Bryant but one monkey don’t stop no show. Like it or not, when it mattered the entire team dug in and managed to turn that game around in the 23rd & 1/2 hour. And not for nothing, Phil Jackson is one of my favorite professional coaches. So here’s to Phil and one particularly psychic Laker fan, ya’ll made the magic happen last night. Le sigh.

2. Vanessa Bryant and the bedazzled mini-Kobes were a lot. Like seriously? I swear her and them lil’ girls were down on center court faster than freaking security! Granted, we all know Mr. Bryant told her to have that ass front & center if/when they won but still… Can you relax and stop throwing cut-eye while that man celebrates with his teammates? Jeesh. (Lord knows, if the 1st Lady of the Lakers was African-American, folks would be calling her clingy ass all kinds of emasculating right about now. SMH. That good-good hair works wonders, I tell ya.)

3. Ron Artest is everything to me today. So proud of that man for giving props where it’s due and shouting out his therapist!! I can only imagine how much craziness that poor woman had to wade through before she got his mind on the right track. DEAD FISH EYES. Say what you want but maybe if a more athletes and “high powered” men (um yes, I put that shit in quotes for a reason) would carry their macho asses to therapy, there’d be less drama and confusion poppin’ off. Looks directly at Michael Vick, Kwame Kilpatrick, Plaxico Burress, Lil’ Wayne, Lawrence Taylor, T.I., and every fool ass Black man with a lil’ money and influence that’s been in the headlines for some extra preventable bullshit.

4. THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT of the entire post:If Rajan Rondo is need of any type of extra-curricular hand-holding/ comforting between now and next season, puh-lease be sure to point that adorable knobby-kneed boy in my direction. Not now, but right now.

Thanks.

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