Mitzi Moments

Author: Mitzi

mo money, mo problems…

By on January 24, 2011 in desperate cry for help, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue

So Oprah’s got a half-sister, huh?


Lucky chick.

Cause I surely was sitting here hoping that the big announcement was that she discovered that she actually had a secret love child out and that it turned out to be ME. No offense mom.

Oh wells, so much for that crack pipe dream.

On another note, prayers up for all the victims of the terrorist attack at the Moscow airport and Holly Lahti, the 29 year-old single mom that won $190 million dollars in the Mega Millions jackpot about three weeks ago. Turns out homegirl had serious domestic violence issues with her sleazy, estranged husband (who put that nasty shiner on her left eye back in 2003 & also happens to be suing for a chunk of her winnings) and is now missing.

BLANK STARE

*makes the sign of the cross and starts tossing holy water every which way*

u and your 54 followers…

By on January 21, 2011 in i die, Mitzi- all day every day, never too grown, pocket full of dirty tissue

O-M-G! Just finished reading a story about a Sports Illustrated writer that decided to track down a couple of the people that left him extremely nasty, personal, online comments (including a picture of hard core porn) in response to an article he wrote. Check it out HERE.


HEE-LARIOUS.

Talking about, when the first guy answered the phone and realized it was the sports writer he had just cussed out and sent an x-rated picture- cause homeboy really did call both commenters on their home phones- it was an ENTIRELY different story than the crude, profanity filled tirades they had written online:

“Without invisibility or the support of his 54 Twitter followers or the superhuman powers supplied by a warm keyboard, Matt was meek and apologetic. ‘I was just trying to get a rise out of you,” he said. “You’re a known sports writer, and I thought it was cool. That’s all. I never meant for it to reach this point.'”

Or wait on it.. the one who still lives at home with his freaking mother:

“… along with contacting Matt, I also tracked down Andy, a 23-year-old aspiring writer who tweeted of me: “jeff Pearlman and billy madison share an intelligence quotient (because jeff Pearlman is a f—ing retard).”
When I dialed a number I found for Andy, his mother answered. (I admit, this brought me great delight.) Andy was even more apologetic than Matt…”

Uh huh, I’ll bet.

*falls out laughing*

Now don’t get me wrong, everyone is entitled to an opinion. And you’re absolutely free to comment on/disagree with any and everything I publish. (In fact, hearing a different side of the story makes me more informed.) So please share. But there’s a HUGE difference between disagreeing and calling names/sending pornographic images to illustrate your disdain.

DEAD FISH EYES

So lesson of the day for all the internet thugs runnin’ amuck & poppin’ ish from behind your new iPads: The keyboard will only protect you so far.

Lames.

do not pass go, do not collect a single dollar…

By on January 20, 2011 in desperate cry for help, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, tapped out



For the record, I am adamantly pro-choice.

I have no interest or desire to regulate another woman’s reproductive decisions nor do I believe that it is anyone else’s right to do so.

Because at the end of the day, there’s only one person that will have to live with the mental and physical consequences of giving birth to an unwanted child. And it sure as hell ain’t nam one of the folks holding up graphic protest signs and blockading the entrance to abortion clinics.

With that said, I am absolutely horrified by the accusations against this doctor in Philadelphia. H-O-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.

Performing medical services in a filthy clinic that reeked of cat urine?
Abortions given during the 6th & 7th month of pregnancy?
Severing living babies’ spinal cords with scissors?
Hoarding bags of fetuses in a refrigerator?
Transferring venereal disease from patient to patient b/c the instruments weren’t sterilized?
Saving baby feet in jars for no known medical reason?

*gags violently*

This man wasn’t a medical practitioner, he was a freaking MONSTER.

And what makes is so devastating is that he clearly preyed on the weakest members of his very own community. Cause ain’t no way in the world, any woman with means and options would elect to have such a sensitive surgery in such a disgusting, demoralizing and offensive environment.

There’s a special place in hell for people who are part of ish like this. And certainly I hope that man, his wife (who was his partner in crime) and all the rest of the so called professionals in the office -receptionist, nurse, anesthetist, whoever was there- see fit to make their way there ASAP.

screwed up priorities…

By on January 19, 2011 in made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

So I’m going to skip right over Regis’s retirement announcement, the 300 dead cows in Wisconsin and get to the important stuff: the bidding war over O.B tampons on Ebay!


*silence*

Okay, I kid, I kid. But don’t act like paying $79 for a box of tampons isn’t excessive.

Actually, a couple of stories caught my attention this morning as I was catching up from the long weekend hiatus: First, there’s the story about the Memphis high school where 90 teen girls are pregnant or have already given birth this school year. Uh, 90? All in 1 school? SMH. So much for abstinence, huh? Then there is the article on the Hepatitis C patient in Alaska who was charged with attempted murder for spitting on a nurse while she was trying to put him in restraints. Now, ya’ll already know how squeamish I am about germs & saliva… Can you imagine what this poor woman was thinking when ‘ole dude hocked a fat one in her mouth?? *shudders* But the most intriguing of all the headlines I stumbled across was the white guy who completely wilded out when his wife caught him watching porn. And when I say wilded out, I mean homeboy flew into a rage and straight stabbed her to death. Mmm-hmmm… But wait on it- after the murder, he proceeded to go to a basketball game and THEN call the police.

DEAD.

Like seriously? There are so many things wrong with this last story. First of all, why are married people still getting into arguements over porn? Its a video with actors. That he will never meet. Now, if it was a video of your next door neighbors or your kid’s 3rd grade teacher, that’s a little different. But some botox filled broad and bi-sexual man w a penile extension? So not worth the energy or worse, getting yourself killed over. At all.

And who in the trailer trash crazy goes to a basketball game before reporting a murder? For all that, he might as well not call at all. Just toss her ass in a garbage bag and keep it moving.

No offense.

Maybe I’m just tired this morning but the series of poor decisions in this situation is simply perplexing. Forreal.

now is the time to call 911…

By on January 14, 2011 in end of days, made for the maury show, why we as a people can't get ahead

It’s funny, because as a single woman, I’m frequented being asked what I look in a mate. And naturally, here are a lot of qualities that I hope that my life partner will possess. But after watching this video, I gotta tell you the order of that theoretical list IMMEDIATELY become revised and now has a non-negotiable number one:


SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE.

YO, how in the WORLD does anyone in their right mind drive by an unsupervised toddler waddling down the sidewalk EVER???? And the baby was ONLY wearing a pair of diapers in the f’king SNOW???

BLANK STARE w/ MOUTH COMPLETELY AJAR

Ya’ll these dudes are beyond foul and selfish. And their sick, voyeuristic ability to enjoy witnessing what is clearly a cry of help and not get involved is just…

This is exactly what I meant when I say, as embarrassed as that pre-teen might have TEMPORARILY felt getting whupped up on by his Uncle, at LEAST somebody cared enough to jump in and get involved when he was endangering his life (And yes, posting pictures of yourself pretending to be a drug dealing gang member and making terrorist death treats on the internet where nothing ever disappears IS endangering your life).

This seriously reminds me of the type of people that stand around and video tape a woman being gang raped. But in that case, at least the cowards can claim that they might of been scared for their own safety. This is a BABY on a deserted street in a clearly blighted area of town.

I really hope all the men laughing in that car face criminal charges for their depraved indifference.

*drops the mic and walks away*

lookin mighty sweet…

By on January 13, 2011 in it takes a village, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. But for the grown ass man who thought it was a good idea to tattoo a three-scoop ice cream cone with lightning bolts shooting out of it on his face, I only have one:


FOOL.

I’m not even going to get into Gucci Mane’s loopy blood shot eyes and and slightly ajar bottom lip that give me the distinct impression that he’s either suffering from a bad cold or missing a chromosome… or two. Nope.

I’m just going to wish you good luck with that homie.

*logs all the way off*

don’t call me, i’ll find you…

By on January 12, 2011 in end of days, it's not a game out there, tagging out

Oh yeah, I want to put everyone up on this website, spokeo.com.


A modern day national address book of sort, this new service has basically compiled all the public data available on everyone and created individual user profiles. Which in theory should be no worse than the white pages (remember those?)

Except, these profiles include EXTREMELY personal information. Mm-hmm… Think your marital status, lists of your relative and how they’re related to you, your occupation and bio, an estimation of your annual income, photos & videos from sever social networking site you’ve belonged to like Myspace (remember THAT??)/ FB/Linkedin, hobbies, etc.


DEAD FISH EYES

So essentially, for a nominal fee of course, any wacko in the world with internet access can find out how much they think you make a year, who your favorite aunt is, where she lives and even get a Google picture of her front door.

You do the math.

I suggest you log on, find your profile, copy the URL, click on the Privacy link at the bottom of the page and get to opting out IMMEDIATELY.

RANDOM SIDENOTE: I mentioned the site to one of my homegirls yesterday. And do you know, that shady hooker replied, “Oh yeah, I heard about that last week. I figured you knew. I already removed myself.” Uh, she thought I knew??? myBFFsaintish.com

no, its not pretty…

By on January 12, 2011 in desperate cry for help, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

Gentle reminder, please say and prayer and if you can, drop a dollar (or more) on Haiti today.

Today officially marks a year since the earthquake literally tore the country apart. And it’s safe to assume, that even the dimmest bulbs amongst us should be able to understand that between the massive death toll, child abductions, delayed reconstruction, non-stop stream of gang rapes of women &children in the make-shift tent cities, and current cholera epidemic the small Caribbean country is still very much in need.

Do not behave like our former President and assume that because Bono has stopped organizing celeb charity concerts, it’s “mission accomplished.”

BLANK STARE

i used to put books under my pants..

By on January 11, 2011 in it takes a village, it's in the genes, Mitzi- all day every day

So I realize that I’m SUPER late with this but guess what? I. Don’t Care. I’ve been under a deadline rock for the past week and a half.


This video of a kid who looks to be about 14 years old getting his behind WHOOPED by his Uncle for posting fake gangster nonsense, threats and inappropriate thug bullshit on his Facebook page gave me LIFE this morning.

And when I say, LIFE? I mean, I was literally shaking and crying from laughter for five minutes straight. This might be the only reason I make it through the next 4 days.

Lemme tell you, not because I think watching someone get humiliated is funny. No. Easy. I told ya’ll I’m trying to be a better person in 2011.

On the contrary, all I could think as I watched the kid scurry in a circle trying to avoid each smack without actually running away from his Uncle (cause the two worst thing you could do in that situation were run or grab the belt) was, O.M.G, I KNOW that belt!!! I was RAISED with that belt!! It landed on my legs, thighs and back more times than I care to remember!! And I for damn sure been in the same cowered position, apologizing for acting like I didn’t have any good goddamn sense. Believe that.

And why? Because my parents taught me better than that. And we don’t come from that shit!!

I thank GOD EVERY day there was no cameras around when I was growing up!!

*makes the sign of the cross, presses play and falls out again*

Shout out to all the people who were raised by someone that loved them enough to whip-not BEAT- them when they were getting bigger than their britches.

you add it up…

By on January 11, 2011 in it's not a game out there, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

So I read the story about the Black former Gristedes van driver who basically ran over and killed a Hispanic woman in Brooklyn while he was driving drunk. The 29 year-old was married with three young children. Oh and wait on it… she was also three months pregnant.


BLANK STARE

I’m not going to get into how in his tipsy state, witness testified that dude was speeding and slowing down so that his boy could cat-call female pedestrians as they drove by. Seriously? No. I’m just going to say that I was happy as hell to hear that received 15 years in prison. At first. And then I was sad. really, really sad.

Why?

Because then I remembered a very similar DUI manslaughter case sentencing that took place only four months ago.

Equally horrific details- a married mother is mowed down while while hailing a cab. Except in that case, the driver was a White off-duty cop who was heading home from the bar with another cop when he ran over the Black woman. The victim was also a married mother. Oh and it definitely gets better… when the ON-DUTY cops (you know the ones that were supposed to protect & serve the victim) arrived on the scene, they not only advised said drunken officer not to take the breathalyzer-they also instead gave him a stick of gum, two bottles of waters and allowed him to leave the scene (to go home & sober up).

He received exactly 90 days in prison. Uh huh, you read that correctly, NINETY DAYS.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that dude who killed the pregnant lady should’ve gotten a lighter sentence. When you decide to drive under the influence, that’s the dangerous gamble you take. In this case, homeboy lost.

But, just so I’m clear lemme do the math:
Jan 2011 Black van driver kills Hispanic mother= 15 YEARS
Sept 2010 White police officer kills Black mother= 90 DAYS

Granted, I only made it as far as College Algebra but err um, the discrepancy seems like… a lot.

CATEGORIES

Contact

Name
Email
Message

Yay! Message sent.
Error! Please validate your fields.
Design by materialdsign.com