It never ceases to amaze me how different teenagers are these days from when I was growing up. Like seriously, the sense of entitlement these kids have is just… . BEYOND.
Case in point, this 19 year-old Mexican girl Estibalis Chaves who’s been staging a hunger strike in front of the British Embassy in Mexico City for the past 9 days so that she can receive an invitation to Kate & Prince William’s upcoming royal wedding.
DEAD FISH EYES
Talking about, “Are they going to let me die just because they wouldn’t give me an invitation to the royal wedding?”
HUH?? Is this some kind of sick joke so that she’ll land a reality show? Cause forreal, this can’t be life.
For weeks, hundreds of innocent people in the Middle East have been losing their limbs & lives in a fight for BASIC human rights. And this fool ass chick is killing her damn self over a private event that has absolutely nothing to do with her, her family or even her own country???
*sucks the back of teeth completely clean*
Man listen… Someone please order her a pine box RIGHT now.
I’m so excited to celebrate President’s Day and know I’m actually honoring a Black man. Not just ones that supposedly did something for Black men. Supposedly.
With that said, in honor of the occasion, my girl and I are about to go see the film, I Am Number Four. Real talk, I haven’t been to the movies in forever and a day. So I sure hope this is worth my $12 plus popcorn, Coke and candy.
Cause you always gotta have popcorn and candy!
Oh and above is the trailer for the next movie that I’ll probably go see, Jumping The Broom. Why? Cause I’m officially in love with Paula Patton as the hapless lightskin romantic comedy lead. And whomever the hell that groom is can get it- several different ways. Don’t judge me, I’m 35. My hormones are a raging mess.
BLANK STARE (with a sly wink)
Anyhoo, hope everyone enjoys their day off- if they have it. If not, I’ll do my best for the both of us.
Oh yeah, had a surprise visit from one of my besties this morn. She was in the hood getting her hair done, or I should say chopped the hell off. It looks so amazing! She said she was felt like she was being oppressed by all the hair on her hair- how funny! Seems like short cuts are trending this year.
Speaking of surprises, the new Britney Spears video dropped. And I don’t hate it.
Her hair and body seem to have finally recovered from the train wreck that was her life.
Oh and for the record, that cat fight towards the end was BOSS.
Hmm, so I guess yesterday was the official ‘Get In That Ass’ TV Journalist holiday, huh?
First, Oprah went IN on poor Iyanla Vanzant for trying it on her time and going hard about getting her own show before Oprah felt ready to give it to her. And I mean, she got O-P-E-N.
Poor Iyanla was crying and begging for forgiveness before she could even take her seat properly. Um, can you say AKWARD? And then to make matters worse, once they started talking it really seemed like this THIRTEEN year beef was nothing more than a simple misunderstanding between two strong-willed women who were both waaaaaay too sensitive.
Poor Iyanla went looking for extra validation and reassurance from Oprah but unfortunately, she went about it the wrong way. And Oprah (who if you remember wasn’t as secure in her own success back in her KKK interviewing days), perceived Iyanla’s stepping to her, with lawyers and asking for more concrete assurance (cause they were already in loose negotiations) that she’s be given her own show- because “someone important” a.k.a. shady ass Barbara Walters, counter offered as ungrateful. So O and her right hand white girl (cause there’s always an assistant that’s more offended than the leader) were like, Word? Well, actually Iyanla you can go ‘head with that.
You know, kinda like when you tell the dude you KNOW wanna be with that you’re thinking about kicking it with the random next dude just to get a reaction… and instead of telling you not to or that he’ll be pissed if you do, he wishes you good luck?
BLANK STARE
Right.
But when I tell you Mama O didn’t have NOTHING on Anderson Cooper’s interview/ public thrashing of dick head journalist Nir Rosen who tweeted “Lara Logan had to outdo Anderson,” about the CNN correspondent, who was reportedly sexually assaulted AND punched in the head multiple times while covering the recent celebrations in Egypt. And then homeboy ignorantly followed that comment up with, “Yes yes it’s wrong what happened to her. Of course. I don’t support that. But it would have been funny if it happened to Anderson too.”
BABY!!
Anderson lit homeboy’s arse and alibi on FIRE. Every time dude tried to explain and apologize, Anderson just went deeper and deeper and DEEPER. Shoot, I promise you, after it was over dude had a serious case of diarrhea.
Oh well. Cause Anderson Cooper might be a certified media whore but bump no one deserves to have a sexual assault or ass whooping made marginalized.
YOOOOOOOO! What in the wide-nostril-cross-dressing- hell is this??
Like forreal, is this clown really on YouTube rhapsodizing about his damn wig $5 wig?
Talking ’bout, “Dis is ‘Still I Rise’ hair; the hope & dream of the slave. Dis is for the colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf- but if them girls was laid, they wouldn’t have been considering suicide.”
BLANK STARE
You know what, no. Just no. I don’t care what I see or hear, the devil is a liar.
So Chris Brown has a new video out. Think I’m going to have to watch it a couple more times before I make a decision on how I feel about this song.
However, there is one thing that I’m decidedly against. All those freaking tattoos covering his arms and chest.
Yuck.
Now, don’t get me wrong- I’m not 100% anti-tattoo. One or two creative designs in a strategic location (preferably one that can be covered as necessary) can be extremely sexy- especially on a man with a fit physique. Mmm-hmm…
But when a grown man starts looking like a member of a traveling circus of freaks & oddities, a recent parolee or worse his body starts to get a little flabby and the designs stretch out?
BLANK STARE
And the more common tattoos become the less interesting they are to look at. Like how many times can I be impressed by a pair of hands praying, a dragon crawling out your abs, angel wings on your back, your zodiac sign or Japanese symbols of strength (at least that’s what the artist on 125th Street told you it was) across your knuckles??
Err-um, shock value= zero.
In all fairness, I understand Chris has been through a lot these past couple of years. And watching Rih Rih screech her way to Grammy Award probably doesn’t help. But how much more of said internal struggle does he need to advertise on his pectorals? Like, why not get a better therapist or wait on it- an anonymous twitter account? Just no more of the tats.
I mean, honestly from that horrific Aretha tribute to Lady Gaga popping out an egg just to sing over Madonna’s ‘Express Yourself’ all the way to Rih Rih’s off-key, wannabe dance hall moment and Dr. Dre’s old school mom jeans. Le Sigh. Yeah, I think I pretty much said it all in my chocolate bar fueled Twitter feed rant. In case you missed it, go HERE.
But lemme ask you this… What’s was going on with Beyonce?
When the camera panned on her for the first time sitting next to her BFF Gwyneth Paltrow, I did a damn double take. WTH?? Is she morphing into a white woman right in front of our very eyes?
Granted, I know this is homegirl’s “winter” complexion but still- what’s really good with the extra strawberry blonde weave and bare face look she was giving? As if she just decided to stop by the awards show on her way back to the hotel from running an errand at Target? I mean, less is more but none is ridiculous.
DEAD FISH EYES
Oh and I’m not even going to discuss the drab, black, bedazzled waist-length tuxedo jacket over a pair of high-waisted, sequined booty shorts….
Normally, I don’t really get into the Fashion Week madness here in the city. Although I love fabulous clothes and the drama as much as the next person, the idea of sitting around gawking at emaciated human hangers prancing up and down a runway does absolutely nothing for me. At all.
Let’s just say, I’m more for the open bar/ free food afterparties. *shrug*
But this year, thanks to the kind folks at Diet Coke I actually had the pleasure of attending the Heart Truth Red Collection Runway Show. Held annually, it features some of our favorite actresses and celebrities wearing red dresses from different designers to raise awareness of heart disease amongst women and inspire us to take action to lower our level of risk.
And I have to tell you, I was impressed.
Not only was the pre-show panel extremely informative. Did you know heart disease kills more women than all forms of cancer COMBINED? But the stars turned out for the event- I had no idea Matthew McCougney could clean up so well. And the boys- from America’s Next top Model- Miss J, Jay and Nigel were doing the absolute MOST on the front row. And the actual celeb models were very impressive:
NBC’s Ann Curry was super cute, Camila Alves (Matt’s baby mama) has a body to D-I-E for, Dita Von Teese is the sexiest white woman on the planet, Laila Ali & her baby bump were jamming, few make divorce look better than Garcelle Beauvais, the size of Suzanne somers breasts was epic and nobody, I mean nobody could outdo Miss Patti prancing down the walk singing her own damn song.
Unfortunately, I spent too much time laughing and clapping at the catwalk antics to get any good pictures.
Um so yeah, for the record this hoodie-footie pajama gives me LIFE. L-I-F-E.
*shrug*
Yeah, I said it.
I mean I know that Valentine’s Day is around the corner and what not so we should all get our lingerie game up- even if you’ll just be wearing it for yourself- but as cold as it is? Man listen…
*zips all the way up*
Till the spring, mama is gonna need a real good reason.
MMM-kay. So about this new commercial for Khloe & Lamar’s new unisex perfume??
Why does watching it make my skin crawl?
There’s something so NOT sexy and honestly, kinda scheevy about the way her equally long and wide limbs wrap themselves around this man. And not for nothing, why does he sound more soft spoken than her? Like she’s trying to whisper but that just his tone- naturally. And then watching her kiss him. Nope. Too much.
*shudders uncontrollably*
I don’t know, maybe it’s just too early in the morning for me to be thinking this kinda nonsense. But between you and me, the entire commercial looks like it stinks.
