Mitzi Moments

Category: it takes a village

making technology work for you…

By on June 25, 2009 in it ain't easy, it takes a village, pocket full of dirty tissue

Dang! The po-po ain’t catching no breaks this week…


Apparently, NYPD Detective Christopher Perino thought he was slick and denied threatening a suspect Erik Crespo in court. Well don’t you know the tech savy teen taped the entire “conversation” that included threats to the then 17 year-old’s mother and sister on a tiny MP3 player he had in his pocket?  

So much for doing a thorough job of frisking the suspect, huh?

Therefore, when the trifling Detective got on the stand talking about he never interrogated Crespo let alone threatened him, the defense attorney basically whipped out the 62-page transcript of the taped convo and cold busted his ass.  Mmm-hmm, just like that.

In addition to being played to the left in front of a courtroom full of people, the Detective was immediately charged with perjury and arrested. He is suspended without pay, will probably lose his pension and could now go to jail his DAMN self.

You know…. I wanna say I feel bad for the former Detective, especially since it turns out the kid is truly guilty of the crime they arrested him for (he was caught on tape shooting someone). 

BUT at the end of the day, I’m not really for all that threatening of folks mothers and sisters… No sir, not at all.

sure hope he had his drawers on…

By on June 24, 2009 in honorary white woman, it takes a village, made for the maury show, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

In most cases, there’s nothing funny about police brutality.  Like, at all. But you know my motto- every day is a new opportunity to take it to the next level. Peep game:



Apparently, good ole Carl (who mind you, was recently voted District Officer of The Year) got wind of the fact that his estranged wife was screwing around at the crib with another man.  So naturally, as soon as he got off duty he headed over to ‘get things straight’. 

When he arrived on the scene, I guess homegirl was trying to be on some slick shit and refused to answer the door. (Can’t you hear her now- “Just ignore all that banging baby.  I told you, me and him not together no more.”)

Well don’t you know homeboy smashed a window, stormed in and charged up to the bedroom? 

Once in the bedroom, crazy ass Carl (you like how he went from good ole Carl to the crazy ass, right?) found the freaking Police Chief HIDING out in the closet and proceed to pistol whip and beat FIRE out of that ass.

DAYUM son. Can you say anger management issues? WTF??  I’m gonna need the Chicago Police force to turn off the R.Kelly and pull it together.  Not now, but RIGHT  NOW.

another cdc nightmare…

By on June 16, 2009 in desperate cry for help, it takes a village, why we as a people can't get ahead

Oh Jesus, here we go… 


Even if the weather isn’t necessarily cooperating with those of us in the tri-state area, summertime is here party people.  Wanna know how I know?

‘Cause the New York Times just published it’s annual ‘please-don’t-poop-in-the-pool’ article.  You know, the one where they report on the rising number of people swimming in NYC’s public pools that become infected with a nasty intestinal parasite that’s found in feces? 
Uh-huh,  feel free to vomit in your mouth right about now.

For those that need more details: Cryptosporidium is what they call it. The only way to become infected is through ingestion. And the reason that so many people become ill is because that bad boy can survive as  long as 10 days- EVEN IN CHLORINATED WATER. 

Talking about, “We want people to swim but be healthy about it.” Uh yeah, no thanks. 

Jesus be the cold water in my shower until I arrive at a beach far, far away…

the munchkins were my favorite…

By on June 12, 2009 in it takes a village, keep hope alive, too old for the road

So last night, my boy G-Payton scored tix to see the dress rehearsal performance of The Wiz featuring Ashanti and Orlando Jones. Under normal circumstance, you’d have to drag me kicking and screaming to anything remotely Ashanti related but it’s The Wiz. I couldn’t resist.

And I am SOSOSO happy to report that for the most part the play was really good. As expected, LaChanze (she played Celie in Oprah’s The Color Purple musical) was phenomenal. Orlando Jones looks like he’s put on a couple of pounds but still dead on as The Wiz. I seriously heart the Scarecrow, Tin Man And Cowardly Lion. Them brother right there can BLOW. And don’t sleep, even though she only had two and a half scenes, Tichina Arnold straight STOLE the show as Evillene (the Wicked Witch of the West).
But I did say for the most part.  As in not completely… Sigh. 
Poor, poor Ashanti. Her costume was probably the most unflattering thing I’ve seen in a LONG time. Cause we all know that girl got cankles and big feet.  Who in the unholy costume-design-school-dropout HELL thought it would be cute to put her in a dress that tea length dress and black Converse sneakers?? 
And even though it seemed like they tried to rearrange the tone/pitch of the songs to accommodate her limited range, homegirl still came up waaaay short. Although, I must give her points for being creative enough to try and whisper sing  (like Janet), so that folks couldn’t really tell that she can’t sing. Unfortunately, them type of smoke and mirror shenanigans don’t really work when you’re performing with or right after folks that can really, really SANG. 
I just thank GOD that the producers/writers kept her speaking parts to a bare minimum (at least it seemed). So there were moments that you could sorta- if you tried very, very hard and clicked your heel 3x- forget that she was there.

here comes the bride…

By on May 22, 2009 in cuteness kills, desperate cry for help, it takes a village, mama gotta eat, too old for the road

PRAISE God there are less than 48 hours until Toya & Dre’s freaking wedding!!!  My goodness, this whole bridesmaid dress situation has been a NIGHTMARE. Exhale. Got me feeling like a broke-down Keyshia Cole singing, ‘I jus’ want it to be OVAAAA!’  

No offense.
Forget the fact that I’ve been existing in a perpetual state of hunger for the last 6 weeks, why has it taken SIX freaking fittings to get a “custom-made” dress to fit properly?? Seriously?? , I’m a need you to do a little better dude.  Cause beyond the $250 for a dress that I won’t ever wear again, you’re wasting MY TIME.  
SIX times over the past EIGHT weeks, I’ve had to stop any and everything that I was doing and DRAG my ass down to midtown and below (because after the 4th attempt, it required a totally different tailor to execute the necessary damage control) from Washington Heights,.  For those who aren’t familiar with NYC, that’s about 120 blocks or a 40 min trip. Mind you, as I type this post the dress is not in hand. I still have to go pick it up for the shop.  Uh-huh, one word: beyond.
Jesus be the open bar reception.  ‘Cause Lord, I can’t do it in my right mind…

the joy of indoor plumbing…

By on May 15, 2009 in going to hell in a handbasket, it takes a village, it's not a game out there, keep hope alive

You know there are a lot of things that just ain’t clean in the milk with folks living in this country. Yeah, yeah don’t even front.  We all know that Americans definitely contribute to our fair share of tomfoolery (i.e the group of punk ass white boys that savagely beat and killed a Mexican immigrant for kicks in Texas). But I gotta tell ya, even if this isn’t necessary the land of milk  & honey that my parents imagined it  to be when they moved here from Panama, it SURELY beats the hell outta living next to sewage drain in Mumbai, India.  Mmm-hmmm… And that’s exactly where Azharuddin Ismail, the nine year-old star of the not one, not two, not even  five, but EIGHT Oscar award-winning film Slumdog Millionaire has been chilling with his family since returning from the red carpet 3 months ago.

But wait on it… why did the government literally tear down his home the other day?  Talking about, “the ‘town’ (which is really just a group of families living in shanties attached to a drain) was squatting on government property.”  And with monsoon season around the corner, the drains needed to be cleaned out so they BULLDOZED everyone’s shit. Yep, just like that. 
Mind you, when they first came under scrutiny for the squalid conditions that these kids were going to have to return to after all the glitz and glamour of being big Hollywood and Bollywood star for a season, everyone promised them the world.  Specifically, the same gov’t that kicked in their tent flap, assured them that they would be moved to a house. Err-um, guess that didn’t happen, huh?
So basically, months being called a national hero and going to visit Mickey at Disneyland this kid is homeless.  SMH.
Jesus take the wheel, I’m jumping out here.

the toes are so ready…

By on May 13, 2009 in it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

I’m so excited for the summer! Despite the fact that I have not one but two weddings to attend (and suck the life out of my entertainment budget), I am really really trying to spend more time enjoying myself this go ’round.

So first things first, I started researching vacay spots… I considered the Essence Music Festival but eh, not so much for me this year.  It’s too late to get decent tickets to the concerts and not for nothing, I really don’t want to pay $500 to fly into New Orleans. No offense. So I’m thinking about Barbados or some other small Caribbean island…. anywhere that the sun is hot, the beaches are clean and the water warm will work wonders for the kid.
Next, I got a hold of the NYC City Parks Foundation free concert schedule.  Okay seriously, this might be one of the best summers we’ve had in YEARS.  Lisa-Lisa, Slick Rick, Big Daddy Kane, Chrisette Michelle, Naughty by Nature, Joe and a DJ Premier v. Pete Rock battle? And let us not forget the outdoor movie screenings. Can you say, Purple Rain under the hazy NYC summer twillight sky?  I’m done!
Cue the 90 degree temps and let the tomfoolery begin!

she get it from her father…

By on May 4, 2009 in it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day

Okay so, I went in to pick up my bridesmaid dress this past Friday and lo and behold, that sucker still doesn’t fit: the strapless top is too big, the sash is too short to cinch and the entire backside is damn near see-through (yes, I know Toya wants a Super Sexy Second Wedding theme across the board but that does not include me being topless and ass out, homie). Sigh, so annoying. Cause it’s all fun and games till the wedding day when I wind up looking scandalous friend with no home training in all the photos.

With that said, I’m now on the hunt for shoes. Which in theory should be simple because the dress is black… yeah, not so much.

For whatever reason, I can’ seem to find a pair of black strappy, sparkly sandals with a four inch heel that 1) match the black in the dress (cause don’t you hate blatantly mismatched blacks) and 2) fit my feet comfortably.

And no, I can’t just “go get a pair from 9 West or Aldo,” dammit. Why? Because 9 West/ Aldo+Mitzi’s wide ass feet= severe pain. And after all the money I’m spending on this mess, I have no intention of spending half the night in my seat or worse being the girl that has to do the hot foot dance all the way home after the reception. (And you know exactly what I mean by hot foot- foot all twisted out, limping like someone smashed your toes with a sledgehammer and then pushed you unto a bed of hot coals.) No thank you.

So if you see any cute black sandals please let a sister know ASAP. I’ve only got 19 days to pull it together…

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