Category: it takes a village

Oh shoot, oh shoot, looks like its the end of the road for Joran van der Sloot! Homeboy done got caught in Chile and that ass is about to be deported right back to Peru.

Ironically, the entire time I was down in Aruba, everyone- locals and fellow visitors alike stayed talking about Natalee’s murder in hushed whispers. Five years later, People were still super freaked out by what happened. And seriously, there were so many different opinions on what really happened- sex trafficking, thrown off the cliff, accidental drowning and subsequently eaten by sharks…. the list was endless. But at the end of the day, there were two things we were able to agree upon:
1) Drunk teenagers + remote islands + wealthy psychopaths= epic FAIL

and

2) Not nary one of us wanted to be ‘Nataleed’ while getting our fun in the sun on.

DEAD FISH EYES.

Here’s hoping dude sits in a tiny Peruvian box for the rest of his life.

So err-um a yeah, about Venus’s outfit at the French Open… How can I put this nicely? No way, no ma’am, not even on a dare.


DEAD FISH EYES.

Although strategically, I can see how it worked to her advantage. Cause honestly, who in their right mind is not going to be completely thrown off when her tall lanky self pranced unto the court in some trashy.com super sale lingerie? And then the first time the wind blew and it seemed as if she was completely naked underneath? GAME OVER. If I was that poor girl, I’d need more than a minute to get my mind behind some mess like that.

And while I’m all for doing what you have to do to get the win, at the end of the day it still grossed me out. Aside from the fact that I absolutely hate black and red as a lingerie color combo, the entire outfit just looks inappropriate. You weren’t home playing a random game of pick-up in our pjs with your homegirl. This was one of the biggest tournaments of the season.

You can’t tell me that she’s not starting to resent how much of a media darling Serena has suddenly become now that she’s dating Common. And I get it. It’s gotta be miserable being the sibling that genetics fairies forgot to drop a lil booty on. So you decide to do something to get folks’ tongues wagging about you too. But still, this is nuts.

Um hello. Venus Williams you’re the #2 ranked tennis player in the world and THIS is what you wanna do? Uh-uh.

Survey says LAME.

Is it me or does it seem like every third woman you see on the street is knocked up? I mean, I know that sex is one of the few things that you can still get for free nowadays but still… it’s becoming a little nutso w the morning sickness mafia. Blank Stare. But at least the five knocked-up people I know are certain to be good parents.


Which is clearly more than anymore than anyone could’ve said for wackass Jessica Bruce who despite being 6 months pregnant decided to engage in a high-speed car chase with the cops on Wednesday night.

*cue the tragedy theme music*

Apparently, the 21 year-old refused to stop her car when the po-po tried to pull her over for speeding. Allegedly, she was drunk. But bigger than drinking and driving while pregnant, in the Georgia woman’s haste to get away; she crashed into one car, spun into oncoming traffic, was hit by another car, totaled her ride and ultimately had to be cut from the wreckage of her car. Her baby died.

Charges of feticide are pending.

Time to call E-Boogie and thank her being such an amazing mother.

On the road again… Today, I’m headed to the D to celebrate the BFF’s graduation from law school. Woo Hoo! Sooo ridiculously proud and inspired. In honor of SPF making the magic happen while raising 2 wonderful little girls and taking care of a husband & home better than most folks I know- I leave you with a video that STAYS giving me life.


Enjoy.

Basic Hometraining Rule 101: Before you say something negative, it’s important to lead with a positive.


So let’s start the day by giving Sandra Bullock a HUGE shout out. Adoption, Oscar and Divorcing lame ass Jesse James? Homegirl is taking no shorts in 2010. Sure hope Elin is taking notes. And best of all, how serious is baby Louis’s side-eye game? Like,what? Straight out the N.O grilling the paparazzi like a rock star.

I am also L-O-V-ing the fact that not only will President Obama will be delivering the eulogy at Dorothy Height’s funeral tomorrow but he also ordered the American flags at the White House and upon all public buildings and grounds, at all military posts and naval stations, and on all naval vessels of the Federal Government in the District of Columbia and throughout the United States and its Territories and all possessions to be flown at half-staff on the day as well, “as a mark of respect for the memory.”

Take that, Take that.

Yes, I’m really glad that I had such encouraging and happy news to help balance out the craziness that is jumping off in mid-west right now: As if Arizona wasn’t enough, apparently despite two vetoes by the State’s governor, the Oklahoma Legislature has voted two new and even more restrictive abortion measures into law. One of which requires women to undergo an ultrasound and listen to a detailed description of the fetus before getting and abortion AND the other prevents women who have had a disabled baby from suing a doctor for withholding information about birth defects while the child was in the womb.

DEAD SILENCE

But wait on it, the new laws are way detailed. Like the first law, requires that the doctor or technician set up the monitor so that woman can see it and describe the heart, limbs and organs of the fetus. No exceptions are made for rape and incest victims. Okay real talk, how sick is that for someone to have to sit through the description of a fetus? Although, I’m not really sure what the hell they’re going to be describing since its just a mass of tissue and nerve stems for the first six weeks (which is when most women schedule the procedure). So perhaps they’ll just be making it up as they go along… You know kinda like the Teabagggers and the Birthers.

Seriously? All fun and jokes aside, what country are we living in right now? Is this a freaking extremist Muslim country where women’s reproductive rights are up for debate amongst a bunch of MEN?? I’m so confused.

So when there is a sudden rise in the number of abused and abandoned babies on Oklahoma, what then? Are these same lawmakers going to sign up to start taking them in? Cause clearly the whole overseas adoption movement is going to hell in a handbasket. Exhibit A: the couple in Virginia Beach who are now suing the nation’s largest adoption agency for sending them another little blond-haired psycho from Russia. Mm-hmm…

Apparently, lil Roman started out as a vision of normalcy. But over the course of six years, he has threatened his the couple’s 5-year old biological daughter with a steak knife and a two-by-four as well as held her underwater in a pool. Oh and did I mention the multiple therapeutic programs that have ejected the future serial killer for kicking, biting, hitting and most recently, on his 8th birthday, pulling out three of his teeth using a pen cap, fork or spoon?

*crickets*

Oh and NOW that the lawsuits are flying, the caseworker finally acknowledges that when she had said the doctor visited orphanages to “see the children” and review pictures, videos and medical information that did not necessarily mean that the doctor had actually examined. Matter of fact, in deposition, the same doctor said he had not practiced medicine for years and was a facilitator for the agency, not a medical screener. Word?

Feel free to throw up as I donate my ENTIRE life savings to Planned Parenthood.

So after all the hoopla Shani Davis came right back and kicked ass in the men’s 1,000-meter speed skating competition, huh? Well alrighty then. Chicago, stand up!


On an itty bitty sidenote, this is probably a horrible thing to say considering how hard all those athletes work to prepare but forreal, forreal I so could care less about the Olympic Games. (Mind you, I have a friend that’s very, very likely to land a spot on the USA track team and still… Not so much.) No offense.

And it’s weird cause didn’t we all used to LIVE for the Olympics?? I can distinctly remember begging my parents to let me stay up late and watch whatever-the-hell competition was on TV: ice skating, gymnastics, downhill skiing, track & field. Mind you, this was before there were Black people to watch and identify with.

*dead fish eyes*

I wonder what that’s about… Am I the only one that couldn’t give two shits about bringing home the “gold” to the ‘ole U-S of A? Especially when we still can’t manage to bring home the health insurance? Or how about the end to the recession?

I’m just saying… *kanye shrug*

The recession is a bitch. But I gotta say, it does bring out the creativity in folks. Check out this video short that a friend of my girl Reena made about her life as a recent grad called- ‘Hire Me.’ It is SOSOSOSO freakin’ cute.


I LOVE.

Oh and by the way, she’s headed to NYC for a part-time fellowship at a film company in mid-February and REALLY needs a job. So if you can help, please do.

There’s a lot of information out there about how and what to donate to Haiti. Which is good but unfortunately, can be a little overwhelming.


For those who’d like to do a little bit more than send $5 by texting Wyclef’s non-profit Yele at 501501, check out community activist, writer and former Real World cast mate Kevin Powell’s website.

Not only does Kevin’s site provide a list of credible organizations to donate money, there’s a list of specific supplies that are needed (water, water, water, food, toiletries and clothes) as well as sources of information on the history of Haiti (which will make it more clear why this disaster is such a tragedy).

While the outlook may look really grim, it’s not over yet… get informed and please stay involved!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know today is the first work day of the new year/ decade but I gotta tell you- I’m so not for ready it. Seriously, I think my body may need another 24 hours to recover from the non-stop tomfoolery of the 2009 holiday festivities and this damn head cold that I seem to have picked up on Saturday night. Sigh.


Guess I still need to learn when to say when…

But before I go back to bed to stage a much-needed do-over, I wanted to share the news story about the ex-mayor of Lancashire in England who recently confessed to breaking into women’s homes and what? Stealing their underwear. *blank stare*

Mmm-hmm, apparently homeboy’s pantie raid lasted from January to June of last year. And at one point, it got so bad that not only were women going to the police about the number of missing garments but one woman actually went so far as to install a hidden camera in her bedroom. Can you imagine?

Uh-uh, Jesus take the wheel…

Now before I go in, I need to state that a good friend of mine is one of the new owner/ exec producer of Soul Train Holdings, LLC. And I am very, very very proud of how far the show has come since the last time it aired. And considering that aside from the BET Awards, this is the only televised award show dedicated to “our” music, it’s important to support and encourage. Howsomeva…

Homeboy or not, there are a couple of things that I’m confused about:

- Was Fonzworth Bentley the most uninteresting red carpet host ever? No, forreal. The very sound of his voice was making my eyes roll back in my head.
- Please tell me my eyes were deceiving me but was the audience seated on FOLDING CHAIRS?
- When did Keith Sweat turn a thousand?!?!? That negro looked like the crypt keeper up on the stage.
- Didn’t Keri Hilson reading her thank-you list off of a bedazzled BB seem a bit much? I know, I know, she was probably still flustered from getting her grind on with the unbelievably sexy (and prob gay) background dancer but still…
- What was up with the return of the Hi-Tek and Timbaland boots? Mario, Raheem DeVaugn, Sean Garrett? Really? Are we bringing back to the 90s R&B thug look like that?
- Speaking of inappropriate throwbacks, why in the hell was K-Ci doing the stanky leg during the Charlie Wilson tribute?? Boo.
-Why does Terrance Howard STAY trying to sing to somebody? I’ma need him to focus less on his acoustic guitar career and more on not getting released from mega-blockbuster franchises.
- Which was worse, Robin Thicke’s porn-stache or those hot ass lookin’ leather pants?
- How funny was it when Chaka snatched the mic during her own tribute? Like, listen Angie I appreciate you trying and all but lemme show you how its really done.
- Is it really considered an awards show if you only give out 4 awards?
- Why was everyone from Toni to Taraji open-mouth kissing like herpes/ H1N1/ HIV ain’t real? Uugh, so disgusting.

Okay, okay, that’s all the flashbacks I can deal with on an empty stomach. Again, very proud of the award show itself as for the performances, eh not so much. But at least with time (and a bigger budget), that can be improved.

Fingers crossed.

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