Mitzi Moments

Category: pocket full of dirty tissue

i’m bored…

By on February 15, 2011 in Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue

So Chris Brown has a new video out. Think I’m going to have to watch it a couple more times before I make a decision on how I feel about this song.

However, there is one thing that I’m decidedly against. All those freaking tattoos covering his arms and chest.

Yuck.

Now, don’t get me wrong- I’m not 100% anti-tattoo. One or two creative designs in a strategic location (preferably one that can be covered as necessary) can be extremely sexy- especially on a man with a fit physique. Mmm-hmm…

But when a grown man starts looking like a member of a traveling circus of freaks & oddities, a recent parolee or worse his body starts to get a little flabby and the designs stretch out?

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And the more common tattoos become the less interesting they are to look at. Like how many times can I be impressed by a pair of hands praying, a dragon crawling out your abs, angel wings on your back, your zodiac sign or Japanese symbols of strength (at least that’s what the artist on 125th Street told you it was) across your knuckles??

Err-um, shock value= zero.

In all fairness, I understand Chris has been through a lot these past couple of years. And watching Rih Rih screech her way to Grammy Award probably doesn’t help. But how much more of said internal struggle does he need to advertise on his pectorals? Like, why not get a better therapist or wait on it- an anonymous twitter account? Just no more of the tats.

Please and thanks.

so not the desired effect…

By on February 8, 2011 in end of days, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

MMM-kay. So about this new commercial for Khloe & Lamar’s new unisex perfume??

Why does watching it make my skin crawl?

There’s something so NOT sexy and honestly, kinda scheevy about the way her equally long and wide limbs wrap themselves around this man. And not for nothing, why does he sound more soft spoken than her? Like she’s trying to whisper but that just his tone- naturally. And then watching her kiss him. Nope. Too much.

*shudders uncontrollably*

I don’t know, maybe it’s just too early in the morning for me to be thinking this kinda nonsense. But between you and me, the entire commercial looks like it stinks.

they call it progress…

By on February 4, 2011 in pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

Woke up extra early this morning so that I could get a jump on the Friday. Trying to get out to NJ to see my girl and her 2-month old bundle of joy (and baby poop). Now, normally the only thing I hear on the radio morning shows is Nikki Minaj and Tre Songz, but to my great surprise, Power 105 was having an old school moment with MOP’s single, “Ante Up.”


Wow. Remember MOP? Or any of the rest of the knuckleheads that were hot back in the day when hip hop did more than trick off in strip clubs and sit around imagining that airplanes were shooting stars for that matter? And if so, can you even imagine an emo rapper like Drake trying to come out during that time? Or worse, a freakin’ corrections officer like Rick Ross flossin’ like he was one of the biggest drug dealers of modern times?

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Yeah, me neither. Le sigh.

*pours out a lil brown licca*

sticks, stones and a crackho…

By on February 1, 2011 in end of days, keep hope alive, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

Ok, while you’re playing, this Mayoral race in Chicago is DEAD SERIOUS.

O.M.G!

Shout out to my girl Leah, for putting me up on this news report from a recent candidate debate where former Senator Carol Moseley Braun goes all the way, and I do mean, ALLA WAY IN on a fellow candidate Patricia Van Pelt Watkins.


See, now if folks started telling the truth like this is NYC, Bloomberg’s shady ass wouldn’t even be in office right now. Real talk.

BLANK STARE w 3 LOONG BLINKS.

Lord forgive me but I cannot wait until Rahm Emmanuel has his turn at the mic.

*grabs the bowl of popcorn and pulls up a chair*

parenting isn’t for everybody…

By on January 28, 2011 in desperate cry for help, end of days, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

Let me get this straight. A 13-month old baby drowns in the bathtub while his mother is checking her friends’ status updates and playing CafeWorld on Facebook? Forreal?


When I initially saw this story, I almost refused to click link. And quite honestly, I’m sorry that I went against my gut. Cause now I’m physically ill.

Not only did this little boy drown because of his mother’s irresponsibility and lack of good judgement but wait on it… This ignorant hooker has the nerve to try and justify her actions??

Talking about, “he wanted to be left alone.”

HUH? He, who? Since when can a one year old tell an adult ANYTHING??? Let alone, give me privacy while I bathe.

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This tragedy was so senseless and preventable it’s just… BEYOND.

calling all balloon heads…

By on January 26, 2011 in end of days, pocket full of dirty tissue, team obama, why we as a people can't get ahead



This video is priceless.

It physically pains that someone with this little knowledge of our country’s history is in a position to make decisions for the entire nation. Michele Bauchman reminds me of all the white people I know that still think and openly say things like, “Oh Mitzi, you’re so different from the rest of those Black people.”

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mo money, mo problems…

By on January 24, 2011 in desperate cry for help, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue

So Oprah’s got a half-sister, huh?


Lucky chick.

Cause I surely was sitting here hoping that the big announcement was that she discovered that she actually had a secret love child out and that it turned out to be ME. No offense mom.

Oh wells, so much for that crack pipe dream.

On another note, prayers up for all the victims of the terrorist attack at the Moscow airport and Holly Lahti, the 29 year-old single mom that won $190 million dollars in the Mega Millions jackpot about three weeks ago. Turns out homegirl had serious domestic violence issues with her sleazy, estranged husband (who put that nasty shiner on her left eye back in 2003 & also happens to be suing for a chunk of her winnings) and is now missing.

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*makes the sign of the cross and starts tossing holy water every which way*

u and your 54 followers…

By on January 21, 2011 in i die, Mitzi- all day every day, never too grown, pocket full of dirty tissue

O-M-G! Just finished reading a story about a Sports Illustrated writer that decided to track down a couple of the people that left him extremely nasty, personal, online comments (including a picture of hard core porn) in response to an article he wrote. Check it out HERE.


HEE-LARIOUS.

Talking about, when the first guy answered the phone and realized it was the sports writer he had just cussed out and sent an x-rated picture- cause homeboy really did call both commenters on their home phones- it was an ENTIRELY different story than the crude, profanity filled tirades they had written online:

“Without invisibility or the support of his 54 Twitter followers or the superhuman powers supplied by a warm keyboard, Matt was meek and apologetic. ‘I was just trying to get a rise out of you,” he said. “You’re a known sports writer, and I thought it was cool. That’s all. I never meant for it to reach this point.'”

Or wait on it.. the one who still lives at home with his freaking mother:

“… along with contacting Matt, I also tracked down Andy, a 23-year-old aspiring writer who tweeted of me: “jeff Pearlman and billy madison share an intelligence quotient (because jeff Pearlman is a f—ing retard).”
When I dialed a number I found for Andy, his mother answered. (I admit, this brought me great delight.) Andy was even more apologetic than Matt…”

Uh huh, I’ll bet.

*falls out laughing*

Now don’t get me wrong, everyone is entitled to an opinion. And you’re absolutely free to comment on/disagree with any and everything I publish. (In fact, hearing a different side of the story makes me more informed.) So please share. But there’s a HUGE difference between disagreeing and calling names/sending pornographic images to illustrate your disdain.

DEAD FISH EYES

So lesson of the day for all the internet thugs runnin’ amuck & poppin’ ish from behind your new iPads: The keyboard will only protect you so far.

Lames.

screwed up priorities…

By on January 19, 2011 in made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

So I’m going to skip right over Regis’s retirement announcement, the 300 dead cows in Wisconsin and get to the important stuff: the bidding war over O.B tampons on Ebay!


*silence*

Okay, I kid, I kid. But don’t act like paying $79 for a box of tampons isn’t excessive.

Actually, a couple of stories caught my attention this morning as I was catching up from the long weekend hiatus: First, there’s the story about the Memphis high school where 90 teen girls are pregnant or have already given birth this school year. Uh, 90? All in 1 school? SMH. So much for abstinence, huh? Then there is the article on the Hepatitis C patient in Alaska who was charged with attempted murder for spitting on a nurse while she was trying to put him in restraints. Now, ya’ll already know how squeamish I am about germs & saliva… Can you imagine what this poor woman was thinking when ‘ole dude hocked a fat one in her mouth?? *shudders* But the most intriguing of all the headlines I stumbled across was the white guy who completely wilded out when his wife caught him watching porn. And when I say wilded out, I mean homeboy flew into a rage and straight stabbed her to death. Mmm-hmmm… But wait on it- after the murder, he proceeded to go to a basketball game and THEN call the police.

DEAD.

Like seriously? There are so many things wrong with this last story. First of all, why are married people still getting into arguements over porn? Its a video with actors. That he will never meet. Now, if it was a video of your next door neighbors or your kid’s 3rd grade teacher, that’s a little different. But some botox filled broad and bi-sexual man w a penile extension? So not worth the energy or worse, getting yourself killed over. At all.

And who in the trailer trash crazy goes to a basketball game before reporting a murder? For all that, he might as well not call at all. Just toss her ass in a garbage bag and keep it moving.

No offense.

Maybe I’m just tired this morning but the series of poor decisions in this situation is simply perplexing. Forreal.

lookin mighty sweet…

By on January 13, 2011 in it takes a village, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. But for the grown ass man who thought it was a good idea to tattoo a three-scoop ice cream cone with lightning bolts shooting out of it on his face, I only have one:


FOOL.

I’m not even going to get into Gucci Mane’s loopy blood shot eyes and and slightly ajar bottom lip that give me the distinct impression that he’s either suffering from a bad cold or missing a chromosome… or two. Nope.

I’m just going to wish you good luck with that homie.

*logs all the way off*

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