Mitzi Moments

Category: end of days

all kinds of sick & twisted…

By on August 16, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, it's not a game out there


Err-umm yeah… so what’s really hood, Detroit?

Lemme find out that robbing and raping defenseless 90 year-old women is what’s up in The Motor City? Like, forreal? That’s how ya’ll celebrate GM posting a profitable quarter? By attacking the elderly?


BLANK STARE.

It goes without saying, there’s a special place in hell for individuals that move through the world this. You know, right along side the nut jobs that torture animals and molest children. Mmm-hmm, I’m pretty there’s room right THERE.


Oh and not for nothing, I actually disagree with her grandson. I HOPE the streets find these two goons before the police figure it out. Cause honestly, jail is too easy… Too easy.

feel better fannie…

By on August 11, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

Dang, I feel kinda bad for Tasia. I mean, just a little.From the winner of American Idol to hiding in a closet while trying to OD on an aspirin& sleeping pills cocktail? YIKES. That’s a looong, hard, humiliating fall.


And over what? a dude that when shit hits the fan, is no where to be found?

(Like seriously, I can get totally accept that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with a man that worked in a T-Mobile store and CLEARLY, planned to live off of whatever monies she had left after supporting every last member of her family. But what I cannot accept or remotely understand is why was it the diarrhea- mouth manager discovering her in the back of the closet? Where the hell was Mr. Cook?)

Aye mami, lo siento.

But what’s done is done, just ask Britney Spears. The important thing is to learn from the lessons that God gives us. So while you’re laying up in the padded room trying to figure out how Angelina & Alicia ended up with rings while your ass on Nancy Grace’s hit list, remember this: SILENCE & DISCRETION ARE GOLDEN.

READ: Enough with these ridiculous damn statements! You sound a mess and nobody believes a single word. The. End.

Wishing you a speedy recovery…

turning the other (ass) cheek…

By on August 9, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, work it white girl

Okay, this PRICELESS:


So for the past four years, there’s been this ongoing battle in Ohio between a local strip club and the Evangelical Church that moved into a nearby property.

According to the various news reports, since the New Beginnings Ministries set up shop they’ve been trying to run the strip club out of the neighborhood. Talking about, “this is a battle between good and evil…”

BLANK STARE

Good and evil? Huh? It’s a regular strip club featuring adult women, not some illegal underground child sex slave trading depot! Again, the strip club was there BEFORE the congregation moved in.
Anyhoo, in typical extremist fashion, they’ve resorted to lowbrow intimidation tactics. You know standing out front with blow horns, screaming at the patrons and women that work there, signs with bible verses on them and the protesters have even videotaped the license plates of the club’s customers to post on the internet.

So evidently, the strippers got finally sick of the Pastor,his followers and all their Bible busting sheenanigans cutting into the take home. And they decided to return the favor and freaking protest the Church!!

Mmm-hmm, this past Sunday a bunch of the working ladies got dolled up (or as dolled up as a low-budget Ohio stripper can be) in next to nothing and headed down to morning service with a few signs of their own.

HILARIOUS

PUH-lease go to DListed for the video. It’s fantastical. The righteous ass Pastor Bill, the skanky stripper and the poor woman holding her baby while she tries to run into Sunday service.

atlanta stand up…

By on August 9, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

“When things go bad, people want to look good. When things are good, people want to look better.”


Err-um well alrighty then, I guess that’s all there is to that.

Now if someone, ANYONE could please explain what in the unholy- dredlocked-hairbug- hell is hanging from Big Bad D’s chin, life would be complete.

let this be a swift lesson…

By on August 5, 2010 in end of days, it ain't easy, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, why we as a people can't get ahead

So from what I understand the senseless event in this video occured because homie was “trying to make a funny video for YouTube.” Um, make a funny video for Youtube? Like that’s an occupation now? SMDH. I can’t.

Ya’ll fools gonna learn to stop cooning for the camera…

congrats all around…

By on August 5, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, i die, made for the maury show

There’s a lot to be happy about today:


The sun is shining.

The U.S. Court overturned California’s ridiculous same-sex marriage ban.

BP seems to have finally sealed the oil well in the Gulf.

Oh and none of us are 48 year-old, Jerry Douthett. And trust when I tell you that is this last reason is HUGE. Mmm-hmmm…

Because apparently, the Rockford, MI resident got soused off of 6 beers and several margaritas and promptly passed out. When Jerry finally woke from said drunken stupor, he discovered that the family’s pet Jack Russell Kiko, had completely gnawed off his rotten big toe.

“I woke up and the dog was laying alongside my foot, then I looked and blood was everywhere,” the drunk ass explains. “I ran to the bathroom and screamed for my wife Rosie to come. I went to the bathroom, rinsed it and it was gone.”

Let me repeat, IT WAS GONE.

*promptly throws up in mouth*

But wait on it… So although Kiko had eaten the big toe down to below the nail-line, the tests at the hospital revealed that an infection that Jerry had clearly been ignoring for some time would actually require a complete amputation of the toe. And here he go talking about, “In retrospect the incident explained a lot. It smelled, and I look back now and realize every time we’d visit someone with a dog, it would be sniffing all over my foot.”

Um, it smelled?

BLANK STARE

keepin’ up the crazy…

By on August 3, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, honorary white woman, made for the maury show, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, why we as a people can't get ahead

Since it’s so late in the game I really, really didn’t think I should bother posting this video. But as many times as I watch this video, I just can’t get enough. And I figure if the Essence controversy can still be going on strong than shoot, I’m gonna get mine in too.

Now remember:

Hide ya kids, Hide ya wife and hide ya husband, cause they raping everybody out here!

*swan dives into the shallow end of the pool*

need to put the bullseye right btwn their eyes…

By on August 3, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

Hmm, so Goldman Sachs has announced that despite being legally able (for the first time ever), they will not spend any money in the 2010 elections.


Well isn’t that nice and civic oriented of them to stay out of politics and mind their business? Fingers crossed, they’ll take the money that they’re not using to buy elections and instead make a donation to various job creation, community service type organizations across this same country whose economy they’ve managed to destroy. *shrug* I’m just saying.

On the other hand, I sure wish Target had taken a clue…

It is with a broken heart that I recently learned that one of my most favoritest mass retailer has contributed $150,000 in cash and services to MN Forward, a PAC in Minnesota that supported the election of Republican Tom Emmer governor of the state.

It turns out that not only is Emmer anti-gay marriage but he also very publicly supports You Can Run But You Cannot Hide Intl., a Christian right organization that calls the execution of gays and lesbians morals.

But wait on it, when they were called to the mat for making this donation they basically responded by saying we make political decisions based on business not civic rights. (READ: To hell with your human rights, and how you feel. we’re helping out whomever is gonna keep business taxes low).

SILENCE

Corporate America sucks. And while it may be all about business to them, civic rights are important to me and all my friends. The End.
If you agree, feel free to sign the petition and let them know.

lookin more like the Bronx…

By on July 29, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead



So I’m really starting to believe that ignorance is way too underrated. Mmm-hmm… There are just some things that I’m just never going to understand and clearly, better off never even knowing about.


Exhibit A: the seeming “normal” French couple that just so happened to have eight and counting newborns buried in their backyard garden?

BLANK STARE

EIGHT babies? Dude, how were they able to snatch EIGHT (probably more) babies and nobody noticed? Now I don’t have kids, so I could be wrong… Howsomever, if my newborn offspring suddenly went missing, I’d probably want to tell somebody. You know, like file a report with the police, do a TV appearance, maybe put up a flyer…. or something. Right? SMH.

I’m just so confused.

Oh and for the record, the attached six minute Bodega Queen- Busted remix that I receive courtesy of one GPayton, is NOT helping my state of mind. At all.

*proceeds to vogue on the corner*

stealin’ sneakers from behind the speakers…

By on July 26, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, i die, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out, too old for the road, why we as a people can't get ahead

So I started out the day thinking, “Wow. I really need to say an extra prayer for President Obama. ‘Cause it seems like every other day it’s something else. If it’s not the recession, health care, BP’s oil spill or an improper firing of an official then it’s the leaking of classified military documents that make the entire administration look CRAZY for A) allowing top secret info to get out and B) continuing to send our soldiers into a war that we obviously cannot win. It’s too much.


BUT THEN, I saw the senseless tragedy that are the pics of Foxy Brown from her performance at B.B. Kings on TheYBF.com…

Umm.

First of all, who are her family and friends? Because aside the fact that some fool co-signed on the idea of a wearing brown leather mini in the middle of July- as a woman, I can take one look at this ridiculous contraption and know that she needed about two or three strong people to help squeeze her fat ass into it. So before I even go a sentence further, be very, very clear, whomever those people are- they HATE her. HATE.

Now beyond the obvious treachery, what the hell happened to her body? I’m not saying people aren’t allowed to gain weight. Especially since Foxy has clearly been on a permanent hiatus since Jay-Z stopped hitting her off with lyrics and whatever else your dirty little minds can imagine. DEAD FISH EYES. But forreal? What in the lopsided hell happened to Inga? About the skinny chicken legs, multiple Michelin tires around the waist, fat boobs hanging out around her belly button and still no eyebrows in 2010? Uh, uh Ms. Marchand, no bueno.

And the absolutely worst part to me? WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HER TEETH?? Why in the world is it all dark, black and empty where her back molars should be?? AAAHHHHH! And ya’ll already know, how I feel about the dentist… *gags* But I’ll tell you what, this rotten tooth smile nonsense right here makes me want to bump appointment up to like, tomorrow.

I mean… I’m just so sad. It’s so awful how far she’s fallen. SMH. Perhaps we should all just be thankful that her cotton panties match her nail polish.

No? Not going for that? *kanye shrug* Fuckkit. At least I tried…

*cues Brand Nubian’s ‘Slow Down’ and turns it ALL the way up*

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