The only drawback to having a great birthday is the day after, you have to come back to reality. And let me assure you, reality sucked this morning. What with the body of that poor little 5 year-old girl in North Carolina whose mother sold her into prostitution being found and the father, sons and uncle in Missouri that raped GENERATIONS of women in their own family? Uuugh, my stomach is officially in knots.
So I thought we light keep it light and talk about the 27% of you guys that are willing to date someone who doesn’t believe in/ isn’t willing to perform oral sex. Um really? So what you’re really saying is: if things work out, you’re willing to go your ENTIRE life without the lickey-lickey??? Woah.
Okay, okay, I won’t even go all in and talk about you. I’ll simply explain why I can’t even consider joining the compassionate 29% who said that for the right person they’d be willing to pray on it. As my girl Nikki is so fond of saying, God Bless their little hearts…
Granted, everybody is different. BUT like the 42% majority, I don’t know if I could really stay interested in someone who suffers from that type of issue. No, not because I’m angry or even offended about their personal choice to abstain. Not at all.
It’s just that after 30-something years, I know Mitzi. And eventually, somewhere down the road, I will have a moment of sheer paranoia. Out of nowhere, I’ll start wondering whether there’s another, dare I say- more fishy reason that keeps my sig other from even wanting to TRY to go down on me…. And trust, that moment will not end well. *Insert image of me bent over with my head in my crotch sniffing like a wild banshee* Err-um, no thank you.
So avoid making your issue my own crisis, I will not.
Good God, I’m tired.
