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Hmm, does anyone care about this alleged Jennifer Lopez “sex” tape that might be coming out? Wait, here’s an even better question- Does anyone remember Jennifer Lopez? *crickets*

Yeah, that’s what I figured. So real talk, was it Marc Anthony or Kim Kardashian that stole her life? ‘Cause its not like she was ever more than a wavy-haired big butt and a smile… No offense. I’m just unclear who are the “fans” that she doesn’t want to see her in these unguarded moments (apparently she’s filmed admiring herself in a bra/ panty set, being spanked and jumping on the back of a motorcycle sans drawers) to the tune of $10 million dollars. Feel free to insert DEAD FISH EYES right here.

Err-um, good luck with that mamacita.
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