Mitzi

actually, it is a popularity contest…

By Mitzi on February 16, 2010 in feedback

Another snowy day, another old poll question.

What’s worse, knowing your significant other’s family doesn’t like you or not getting along with his/her friends?

65% say family.

34% say friends

Real talk, both of these situations suck. Period. Cause who doesn’t want to be liked? Not to mention, we all know that having the friends and family on your side is like a secret insurance policy during those times when your relationship is on the rocks (and you probably don’t even know it). You always want somebody to be willing to say, “Dude she/ he is the best thing that ever happened to you…” or “If you mess this up, you’re an idiot.”

But since I have to choose, I’m gonna go with family.

‘Cause the thing is, you can always limit your interaction with the friends. Nothing says that we all need to hang out or vacation together. Matter of fact, I’ve already got a ridiculous amount of friends that I barely get to see let alone, spending my time around yours. At a certain point, you can always pull the old ‘what happens between us, stays between us’ rule of relationship silence. And if your partner is genuine, that should limit the amount of shit talking they get to do about you to him/ her. At least until you can convince your beloved to move the hell away from the entire worthless bunch.

But the family? Uh-uh.

Them mo-fos are around for good. His nasty mama and slutty sister will forever be at your crib on holidays. All those dirty looks from his know-it-all father will just keep coming like shit in the sewer. Oh and trust, you’ll never stop blocking the unwanted advances of his favorite alcoholic uncle. *crickets*

Oh and God forbid, the two of you get married and have kids?? YIKES. Who the hell wants all of that at your wedding? As expensive as weddings are? The last thing I want are folks that work my nerves hanging around making faces on our special day. I don’t know about you but I’m not leaving MY child around ANYONE that doesn’t like me. I don’t give a DAMN whether you’re a relative or not.

But now I’m curious. If you’re more worried about the friends hating you, tell me why.

drumroll please….

By Mitzi on February 15, 2010 in we love the free

It seems that Operation Wife’d Up in 2010 truly is in effect!

According to random. org, the winner of the Mitzi Moments V-Day Conversation Giveaway is…..

Ms. Ericka Bennett!

Ericka will receive a free copy of Essence Book Club recommended read, The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, trusting Relationships by New York Times Bestselling author and actor Hill Harper.

Congrats to Ericka and a huge thanks to everyone that participated in this month’s giveaway.

*Ericka, at your earliest please send your mailing addy to: mitzimoments@gmail.com

if u disagree, say somethin’…

By Mitzi on February 12, 2010 in feedback

Aside from the tragic suicide of Alexander McQueen and Bill Clinton’s near heart attack, it’s a super slow news day. I mean, that is if you don’t count the triflin’ Brooklyn school aide who encouraged an elementary school bully to beat up another student cause the latter got on her nerves. But I digress.

Anyhoo, so I’m taking it back to the polls. Here’s a more recent question that got a good voter response:

Do you think it’s possible to hook-up with a good friend 1x and still be as cool afterwards?

59% say Yes. If both parties are mature/ consenting adults it should be no problem

40% say No. Sex changes everything.

Quick disclaimer: I haven’t had any experience with the one-time homie hook-up. BUT I was thinking about it…

You see normally, I hook-up with men that I’ve recently met but don’t have any shared history. Since it’s all we know, we’re generally able to keep it going for at least a couple months (who turns a good thing away?). Then when the whole sexual aspect of the relationship fizzles, we remain cool. Truth be told, in most cases we’ve become really good friends because in such casual arrangement there’s no pretension. READ: he sees/ appreciates me for who I am and vice versa.

Mind you, the ONE and ONLY time that I did hook-up with a guy that was friend, it turned into a freaking 2-year long SHITSHOW. *shudders visibly in recollection*

In fact, now that I’m seeing all this written out, my mind is made up- I’m going with no-thank you.

As hard as true platonic friends of the opposite sex are to come by, I doesn’t seem worth potentially screwing up the relationship for a one-off. Over the years, I’ve come to depend on my guy friends’ brutal honesty in everything from work to relationships (cause please believe even when your mom won’t, a dude has no problem telling you when you’re playing yourself). The LAST thing I need is for my boy to be all distracted from the matters at hand or giving shady advice b/c they’re too busy thinking about the crazy thing that I can do with my whatchumacallit.

No ma’am.

don’t be like that…

By Mitzi on February 11, 2010 in desperate cry for help, we love the free

Wow, so nobody wants to read what Hill Harper has to say about relationships? Even though I’m giving the book away for FREE??? That’s F-U-N-N-Y.

Honestly, can’t say I didn’t have the same reaction initially. After all, why would I want to read what a successful, good looking yet for some odd reason PERPETUALLY single Black man has to say about why relationships between Black men and women don’t work. Hmmm, seems like a set-up.

But I must admit, after reading the first couple of chapters (I’m not even going to FRONT like I have the time to sit around and read the entire thing), I am impressed. From the very beginning he starts by addressing his own issues with commitment: bloated ego, sense of entitlement and mainly fear in a very understandable way. Real talk.

So anyhoo, I explain all that to say, don’t judge a book or in this case a ‘suspect’ author by his cover.

It’s not like you have to do anything but leave me a comment sharing what you think is the most lovable feature about you… And how hard is that?

money tastes better than chocolate…

By Mitzi on February 10, 2010 in desperate cry for help, pocket full of dirty tissue, work it white girl

So former Disney wunderkind turn washed up actress before the age of 25, Amanda Bynes went off on a little twitter rant this morning. Talking about how even though she’s “VANILLA” she loves “CHOCOLATE.” And she doesn’t care who has a problem with it.”

*crickets*

Um really, Amanda? Vanilla and chocolate? Sigh. Okay, in your defense I’m sure you thought that you’re making a powerful political statement. But how can I put this nicely… Sweetie, you sound STOOPID. No, really. And not because I don’t think that you enjoy having sex with Black men, I just don’t believe that if you have to announce it in a Twitter, it will ever, ever, ever be more than that- a f’ck.

In my experience, folks that have to make these kind of proclamations, don’t mean a word that they’re saying. They just want attention and generally to hear the sound of their own voices.

And surprise, surprise I guess little Amanda’s voice wasn’t as loud and proud as those of her publicists, the Disney reps and her all white middle-American fans. ‘Cause please believe that homegirl deleted that nonsense within 2 hours of posting. Just. Like. That.

DEAD.

thats that deebo type mind control…

By Mitzi on February 9, 2010 in feedback

It’s so much easier to ask questions than to answer them… But since my girl D got all up in my ‘ish the other day about not posting the results of the weekly polls since like forever, I promised I’d get back on my job.

Okay, so here’s an old one that we didn’t discuss…

Do men want sex more than women?

26% said Yes. they just can’t help themselves

73% said Nope. As women, we simply control our urges better.

You know, I think it depends on the individual man. ‘Cause I have certainly dated men that are literally driven to distraction if they are not sexually active on a regular basis. And we both understood that if he wasn’t getting it from me, too much time wasn’t going to pass before he was on to the next one. Real talk. But quite honestly, that never really presented a problem for me… At all. So perhaps there’s an itty bit of dude in me. I’m just saying.

My thing is, once I’m sexually intimate with someone, I also need it to pop off regularly. As in every day. The time of day (and often place) makes no difference, let’s just get it in. But if I’m not ‘dating’ or in a relationship, my “urges ” are completely turned off. I have very little interest and in fact, become very territorial about my personal space. READ: I don’t want no random mo-fo all up under me. Shit.

DEAD

So ladies, for those of you actively “controlling an urge,” how’s that working out for you? And why do you even do it? Aren’t we at a point in our culture and personal lives where if you feel the need to get broken off, you should make the magic happen. Of course, please be sure to be safe (condoms, 2nd form of birth control, absolutely no video, cameras or witness)You know, and then (like the properly raised individuals I know you all are) simply pretend it wasn’t you in the morn.

DENY, DENY, DENY.

v-day conversation giveaway…

By Mitzi on February 8, 2010 in we love the free

So. How’s your love life?

Well, if you’re like me and it’s still very much a work in progress, have no fear! Just in time for Valentine’s Day I’ve got a little something, something that might help you out…

I’m giving a FREE hard copy of best selling author and Image Award winning actor Hill Harper’s latest book, The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can build Loving, Trusting Relationships to one lucky Mitzi Moments subscriber.

In addition to having a really great looking cover (which naturally features Hill), the book is easy to read and makes sense. I’m not saying it’ll answer all your questions but it just might give you a couple of a-ha moments. Oh and did I mention it’d be F-R-E-E? Exactly.

Here’s how you win:

MANDATORY

• Leave me one comment telling me what you think the most lovable thing about yourself.

• Be/Become a Mitzi Moments subscriber (you MUST verify your email subscription to qualify).

FOR EXTRA ENTRIES (please leave separate comments for each)

• TWEET “I just entered the @MitziMoments V-Day Conversation giveaway for a free copy of Hill Harper’s book The Conversation: http://tinyurl.com/yjcs99r“

• BECOME a Mitzi Moments Member through Google follower on site OR get the Mitzi Moments RSS feed HERE on the site (leave an additional comment letting me know you’ve done so, and include an email address so that I can contact you if you win).

• FOLLOW @mitzimoments on Twitter (send me a direct message letting me know you’ve done so).

• BLOG about this giveaway.

• JOIN the official Mitzi Miller Author/ Journalist/ Opinionated Personality Facebook Fan Page HERE (leave a comment on the FB page letting me know you’ve done so).

THIS CONTEST ENDS AT 11:59 P.M. on SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2010. THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2010. It is open to residents in the continental U.S. and Canada.

is this was mickey taught you…

By Mitzi on February 5, 2010 in i die, made for the maury show, that sense of entitlement, work it white girl

OH God! I knew it, I knew!!

Triflin’-ass Lindsay Lohan is a HOARDER!

Don’t believe me? Just check out the first of Extra Insider’s two-part special w/ co-host Niecy Nash (who is so freakin’ condescending/ annoying, she made me want to strangle the breath out of her and that ridiculous looking wig).

Mmm-hmmm, Jesus be the Goodwill truck waiting outside with the engine running. ‘Cause Lindsay’s place seriously has more shit than an outhouse crapper!

If I was one of her neighbors, I’d be trying to get that hooker evicted IMMEDIATELY. Just on GP. It’s like as if your constant reckless behavior and blatant drug abuse weren’t enough, now you’re bringing filth-flarn-filth to the building where folks pay waaay too much money to live as it is? Oh HELLS naw!

Survey says, FAIL.

Oh and you must know it’s train wreck when I’m so caught up in the nastiness of her condo that I can’t find the energy to discuss what all that plastic surgery has done to her face. Looking like Laura Flynn Boyle’s illegitimate blonde-haired daughter.

I’m going to take a shower.

psst, hey Bey…

By Mitzi on February 5, 2010 in i die, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good, work it white girl

OMG, how did I miss this?? I freakin’ LOVE this white woman!! No seriously, I will forever have a special spot in my heart for Chelsea Handler thanks to this dead-on tirade about Beyonce’s performance at this year’s Grammy Award Show.

Girl Crush Proper.

might’ve worked w bush…

By Mitzi on February 5, 2010 in going to hell in a handbasket, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

Okay so I’m not going to get all deep into the details of the group of fake missionaries/ child traffickers from Idaho that were arrested as they attempted to kidnap a group of THIRTY-THREE children form Port-au-Prince, Haiti last week in the name of Jesus. Cause honestly, the facts speak for themselves… And if I get started on the audacity of these white people, preying on the poor, displaced families in the midst of a natural disaster, I may never end.

But very quickly, I’d like to draw your attention to this picture taken yesterday afternoon of two of the women in the group- a mother and child. Now be clear, these two women are headed BACK to jail after being charged with child abduction and criminal conspiracy, and they’re what? Laughing.

DEAD FISH EYES.

I gotta tell you, I wouldn’t think a damn thing was funny if I was innocent and my ass was headed back to a freakin’ Haitian jail. No ma’am. Not. At. All. But I guess the key word there is ‘innocent,’ huh?

I sure hope them heifers don’t think that just cause they’re white Americans everything is gonna to eventually blow over. SMH. Cause them days is over…

SOMEBODY CUE THE TRAVELING MUSIC.

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