Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

she better than me…

By on April 5, 2011 in desperate cry for help, it's not a game out there, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

Err-um real talk, this picture of Wendy Williams’ feet that she twit pic’d after DWTS practice made me GAG!!


Yo, this is CRAZY! What is that lump on her right foot? And why are the bunions on her toes doubled up like that?? MY GOD.

And you better believe her husband Kevin faithfully massages them joints for her… with his bare hands.

BLANK STARE

To hell with Charlie Sheen, Wendy Williams got that certified TIGERS BLOOD pumping through her veins. Cause not for nothing, I refuse to do anything that would cause my feet to look like this besides run for my DAMN life.

This is NOT winning.

like chubby trainers at the gym…

By on April 4, 2011 in desperate cry for help, it takes a village, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

So err-um yeah… I gotta ask, exactly WHY are people beefing about the updated etiquette and food restrictions being imposed on New York City Health Department employees??


Because I for one, COMPLETELY agree.

For those who didn’t read the article, here are some of the changes that will be going into effect today:

-no eavesdropping btwn cubicles
-no overbearing perfumes
-no displays, photos or signs that may be considered offensive
-no “celebration” cake and cookies being served at the same time
-tap water is a must
-no drinks with more than 25 calories per 8oz servings
-cut muffins & bagels in half, or order mini-sizes
-ABSOLUTELY no fried foods

Personally, I think the real tragedy is that it’s necessary to TELL folks to act right and eat healthy when that’s what they do for a living. ALLEGEDLY.

*insert mean momma side-eye*

I mean honestly? No eavesdropping or fried food? It’s the freaking HEALTH DEPARTMENT. Call me crazy but of ALL the government agencies, they should be the LAST folks gossiping OR eating crappy food on taxpayers’ dimes.

*sucks back of the teeth HARD*

Man listen… Go talk ‘ish over that cup of red Kool-Aid during your regular off-site lunch break cause nobody needs it. At. All.

stop the presses…

By on March 31, 2011 in made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue

So about this reality show fights montage the Daily News compiled… Um yeah.

BLANK STARE

While I feel like we’ve seen most of them in commercial snippets, it’s certainly shocking as shit when you run them all together. And just between you and me, it’s even more shocking was that there was not ONE black person involved in this craziness.

*light bulb goes off*

Of course, that’s why it’s suddenly a mainstream concern. ‘Cause now that reality shows are capturing the Kardashians caught up in domestic violence and teen moms from middle America slap boxing over the little black boy in the mugshot it’s DEFINITELY a crisis.

Yeah, now I totally understand.

time to dial down the meds…

By on March 30, 2011 in desperate cry for help, it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue

WAYMENT, what in the slew-footed hell happened to Britney Spears’ rhythm??


Granted, I’d read the rumblings on Twitter about the GMA performance being a little shakey bakey but I charged that on the time of the day. I mean, anyone coming from the west coast *cough* that’s as hopped up on anti-depressants as Miss Spears *cough* might be a little sleepy and off beat at 7.30am.

But now this Kimmel Show catastrophe? Oh uh-uh. This my darling is ree-diculous.

Could she have been anymore lackluster? Or out of shape? Seriously, homegirl went from sexy hourglass to a straight cardboard box. And please don’t get me started on the square 2-inch heels or that god awful, green & black criss-crossed onsey which was doing nada except making her look like the Incredible Hulk.

Oh Brit-Brit.

And let’s be honest, when the dancing fails to entertain, we’re forced to actually listen to the auto-tune nonsense you’re passing off as music nowadays. Who wants that?

BLANK STARE

Exactly.

this is not the sticky icky…

By on March 29, 2011 in keep hope alive, pocket full of dirty tissue

Hmm, so I was listening to the radio this morning and Snoop was on air promoting his new album, Doggumentary. And truth be told, I didn’t even know Snoop had a new song out let alone an entire album.


At first, I felt badly. I thought to myself, “DAYUM I’m getting old. I mean, how can I not know when a new Snoop album is dropping??”

So naturally, I immediately google the first (and apparently, ONLY) video from the album. And err-um, yeah. I’m not that old. This ish is just not remotely noteworthy. In fact, it’s kinda bad.

No offense my nizzle.

*shrugs & goes back to listening to my iTunes library*

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