using our powers for good | Mitzi Moments

may the GAP be with you…

By Mitzi on July 1, 2009 in i die, keep hope alive, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, using our powers for good

Random: so the other day I received an email from a unknown marketing company rep named Justine asking whether I’d be interested in becoming a Gap Brand Enthusiast. According to her email, somehow or another, they’d stumbled on my blog, enjoyed the tomfoolery and wanted to see if I was down to test out the new ‘Born To Fit’ line of GAP jeans before they hit the stores this fall for, wait on it… FREE.

Oh please believe, I just knew this was one of those African-money-laundering-pyramid schemes. Not to mention that I haven’t comfortably fit into a pair of GAP jeans since I was in freaking college. But then I reconsidered and was like what the hell? Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

Turns out that not only is this operation very legit but in addition to the jeans, if selected (of course there’s a whole process) not only will I get to try out the new jeans, but for the next year I’ll also get all the latest and greatest releases from GAP!!

Err-umm free clothes for a year in the middle of a recession? Can the church get an amen???

Then wait on it… to sweeten the deal, Justine ends the meeting by taking me shopping for an outfit at the nearby GAP store!! I copped the most comfy summer weight cardigan (I’m actually wearing it in my profile photo), a great pair of linen trousers, a pretty gray sweater top that you will probably be seeing on TV sometime sooner or later and a silk tank top that’s gonna be hot to death with my white jeans. Mmm-hmmm, just like that.

So anyhoo, we shall see. I assume that they’ll be making their decision within the month. Fingers crossed… If nothing else, THANKS JUSTINE. This post is for you.

i’m on his team…

By Mitzi on June 4, 2009 in it ain't easy, team obama, using our powers for good

Raise your hand if you managed to get up at the crack of dawn (approximately 6:10am for those on the east coast) to watch President Obama’s speech in Cairo live? Yeah, me neither.

But since I was bombarded with opinions, reviews and commentary from the moment I logged on to the internet, I decided to bite the bullet and watch all 54:52 min online (My god, that’s a long time for anyone to speak continuously, no?).

Gotta say, I’m so not mad at Michelle’s man.

Not only does President Obama continue to be one of the most engaging and eloquent public speakers of modern times, but the man does it with a smile. He managed to take responsibility for our nation’s history of poor decisions (Iraq War, Guantanamo Bay, unjust discrimination against Muslims) while still making it clear that any and every damn body can get it if they mess with the US.

Uh-huh, I see you moving and shaking Barack… Do it. Check it out for yourself HERE.

the bottom of shoes worn once should never ever, ever look like this…

By Mitzi on May 26, 2009 in it ain't easy, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

It’s official- Toya & Dre’s Super Sexy Second Wedding is a wrap! Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I am free at last! No more multiple dress fittings, late night invitation stuffing, frantic shoe shopping, last minute make-up appointments or drama-filled weather report watches to endure.

Mr. & Mrs. Brown are safely in Thailand (making up for the 60 days of abstinence that crazy ass Toya insisted upon ‘to make it feel like the first time all over again’) and my feet are still soaking in a bucket of ice cold water (who knew it was humanly possible to stand/dance for 7.5 hours in a pair of 4 in stilettos?)

Oh and yes, with the help of a whole lot of prayer and sticky tape, the dress managed to stay up and over most of the boobs all night long. Ain’t God good?

the toes are so ready…

By Mitzi on May 13, 2009 in it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

I’m so excited for the summer! Despite the fact that I have not one but two weddings to attend (and suck the life out of my entertainment budget), I am really really trying to spend more time enjoying myself this go ’round.

So first things first, I started researching vacay spots… I considered the Essence Music Festival but eh, not so much for me this year. It’s too late to get decent tickets to the concerts and not for nothing, I really don’t want to pay $500 to fly into New Orleans. No offense. So I’m thinking about Barbados or some other small Caribbean island…. anywhere that the sun is hot, the beaches are clean and the water warm will work wonders for the kid.

Next, I got a hold of the NYC City Parks Foundation free concert schedule. Okay seriously, this might be one of the best summers we’ve had in YEARS. Lisa-Lisa, Slick Rick, Big Daddy Kane, Chrisette Michelle, Naughty by Nature, Joe and a DJ Premier v. Pete Rock battle? And let us not forget the outdoor movie screenings. Can you say, Purple Rain under the hazy NYC summer twillight sky? I’m done!

Cue the 90 degree temps and let the tomfoolery begin!

my bed is mad at me…

By Mitzi on May 11, 2009 in desperate cry for help, it's not a game out there, miracle on 169th street, using our powers for good

Since the summer is (eventually) coming, I’ve decided to try and start my workdays a little earlier… as in four hours earlier. Um yeah, you read that right. The “I don’t use an alarm clock” queen is about to get it popping at 6am in the morning. Feel free to stop laughing any time now… Cause I’m so forreal. I see my friends with kids do it all the time, so I figure what the hell?

This way I can actually go to bikram regularly (instead of just giving them my $115 a month), walk poor Drama before 3 o’clock in the afternoon (any day now she’s gonna call the ASPCA on my ass) and most importantly, spend more time trolling the headlines for news that makes you go hmm… Like the review of Tuesday night’s season premiere of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Which apparently left the reviewer from the NY Daily News thinking, “Good Lord, what a piece of trash. That was great!” Err-umm yeah, I will so be watching. Or better yet, how Rihanna’s people are cracking down on blogs that posted the alleged naked photos of her. But wait on it… not denying that the photos are of her. Insert huge sigh.

Of course, I am going to need your prayers in this endeavor because I don’t even know what six o’clock in the morning looks like let alone to be getting up and trying to function. So light a candle, yours truly is about to get focused.

do it for the kids…

By Mitzi on May 8, 2009 in keep hope alive, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

So I’m getting ready to head to CHI and can I just say, my god, I hate packing.

No matter how early I begin, I always wind up having to rush around at the last minute for something I almost forgot. So damn stressful. Not to mention all the cleaning that has to go on before I can step a foot out the door. ‘Cause there ain’t no way Elsa’s daughter is leaving a dirty bathroom, dishes in the sink or trash in the crib while she’s on the road. No maam.

But I shall not complain, because aside from the crazy weather I do love me some Chicago. Aaannd (drumroll please)- thanks to the unbelieveable success of the HOTLANTA series in the Chicago Public Schools, Denene and I have been invited to be recognized and participate as the keynote speakers at the 2009 Mayor Daley’s Book Club Spring Conference. Woo Hoo!! Go Mitzi, it’s ya birthday! Go Denene, get busy!!

So think good thoughts, pray I don’t forget to pack the right bra and I’ll holler at ya’ll next week.

i’ll give you somethin’ to cry about…

By Mitzi on April 21, 2009 in it ain't easy, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, using our powers for good

I hate the first day of my period. Okay, perhaps hate is a strong word. Let me rephrase that: I really dislike the first day of my period.

Every single time without fail, I’ll wake up on said morning with the starving African orphan-esque bloated belly, killer lower back pain and feeling extra extra evil. Like it’s so not a game for those initial minutes after the wake-up. All the way up until I finally figure that ‘duh, I got my period! That’s what all the drama and confusion is about!!’

Thankfully, I generally wake up alone. So, time permitting, I’ll promptly proceed to lay around in the bed, tossing from side to side, feeling sorry for myself and watching things that make me cry like Steel Magnolias/ the Christian the Lion youtube video for about half a day or at least until I remember those times when the period was late… ‘Cause please believe, nothing makes a woman pull it together and be grateful for a little cramp more than the memory of the times you had to commence the prayer circle and send the bloodhounds out to find it.

Uh-huh… Jesus be the 25th day.

But wait on it… so this morning before I could even get in a good hour of the whole ‘woah is Mitzi on her period’, I noticed an online article about a white woman in England who’s allergic to WATER. Can you imagine? Apparently Michaela Dutton has a rare allergy to water called aquagenic urticaria. Therefore anytime her skin gets wet, she breaks out in a painful rash!! YIKES!

Mind you, the post is 100% PC and solely focuses on the fact that this poor woman can’t even hold her own son because his sweat hurts her so much. Which I will definitely agree, is a heartbreaking issue. But you wanna know what I think is really, really the most tragic aspect of this situation? This woman CAN’T BATHE. For her entire life, she’s just been STINK.

I mean think about it. How can she possible take a shower? EVER? She busy talking about “people don’t come around anymore because they think I’m contagious.” No my dear, folks don’t come around cause you SMELL. I can’t.

Between this and the 22 year-old Boston University medical student killing Craigslist prostitutes in hotels for thrills, I had to cut the pity party short. My life is too damn good. Onward my people.

public service announcement…

By Mitzi on April 2, 2009 in Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

Note to the NYC area weather: it is officially spring. So cut the crap and cue the sun.

I am sick of looking out my window at the gray skies and chilly weather. This misty rain b.s that you’re carrying on with is working my nerves. I’ve had nothing but frizzy, unfortunate looking hair days for so long, I’ve lost track of time. And not for nothing, I don’t want to wear my full length down coat not one more time.

Do you hear me?? I am D-O-N-E.

That’s all for now, thanks.

not so fast with the co-sign…

By Mitzi on March 26, 2009 in Mitzi- all day every day, taking it one day at a time, using our powers for good

Okay don’t nobody dislike stank ass folks more than the kid. Forreal, forrreal. For as long as I can remember, my sense of smell has been extremely heightened. Honestly, I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m five foot flat a.k.a armpit level. So where as the odor has to rise to meet a taller person’s nose, that mess just smacks me dead in the face.

So you’d think that the announcement of this new stink-free underwear that Japanese astronauts are testing out in space would make Mitzi a very happy girl. But then again…

I’m not sure about folks being able to run around in the same pair of drawers for days at a time… Just because it don’t stink that doesn’t make you any less dirty.

And not for nothing, I depend on my sense of smell to help me decide when the hell to keep it moving. Like, no sir don’t let the fly shoes fool you. that chick right there ain’t put on deodorant OR take a shower today! And let’s not even talk about all the implications for those still playing the quickie hook-up game… humph, humph, humph.

Jesus be the bacteria that grows in dark places. Cause I sure the hell don’t want it.

remember the food stamp…

By Mitzi on March 10, 2009 in it's in the genes, keep hope alive, using our powers for good

Oh weee! You know the recession is real when the rich folks start to get nervous. Mmm-hmmm…

Ain’t nothing more telling than billionaire investor Warren Buffet on CNBC talkin’ bout, “the economy fell off a cliff.” Oh yeah? And this is new to you? Wow, must be nice to be so insulated…

But the good news is my people, we are built for this. Yes sir.

Because unlike the pinktoes who are just now trying to figure out the value of a discount and what it means to cut corners, me nd my mine been nigga-rigging the hook-up for years. And everbody and they mama knows how to make a dollar outta fifteen cents. Word up.

1-800-Stay Focused!

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