Category: it’s in the genes

Oh weee! You know the recession is real when the rich folks start to get nervous. Mmm-hmmm…

Ain’t nothing more telling than billionaire investor Warren Buffet on CNBC talkin’ bout, “the economy fell off a cliff.” Oh yeah? And this is new to you? Wow, must be nice to be so insulated…

But the good news is my people, we are built for this. Yes sir.

Because unlike the pinktoes who are just now trying to figure out the value of a discount and what it means to cut corners, me nd my mine been nigga-rigging the hook-up for years. And everbody and they mama knows how to make a dollar outta fifteen cents. Word up.

1-800-Stay Focused!

And the Obama momentum continues…

On Thursday, February 12, 2009 Captain Rachelle Jones (on the left), First Officer Stephanie Grant (right), and their two flight attendents Robin Rogers and Diana Galloway made history as the very first all African American female flight crew! The dope foursome operated Atlantic Southeast Airlines flight 5202 from Atlanta toNashville and flight 5106 from Nashville back to Atlanta.

In the immortal words of Puff Daddy- Take That, Take That!

Can I tell you? I love me some snow. Okay wait, let me be a tad more specific- I do not love cold weather, dirty slush, treacherous driving conditions, or the stink in the subways that inevitably accompany a snowstorm BUT I do love me some winterwonderland-esque snow days. Sigh.

And guess what? This blissful day right here is THAT much better because super dope journalist/editor Juleyka Lantigua (if you don’t know the byline you better get to googling), included me in her latest Republica Update blog post “Afro-Latinas to Celebrate During Black History Month“!!!

Yes maam, I’m all up on there with Rosario Dawson, Gina Torres and even Rita Marley. Mmm-hmm, betcha didn’t know good ole Rita was Cuban, did ya?

Take notes and feel free to spread the good news…

Normally, I wouldn’t bother posting a damn word about Solange “Somebody Puh-lease Notice Me” Knowles. How-some-ever this here photo of her face down, passed the hell out in the LAX baggage claim area from last week’s airline ‘Nyquil’ incident is freaking priceless.

And err-um, for someone who supposedly, “passed out” it sure looks like she made a very conscious decision to lay her lil ass on the dirty floor homeless lady style. You know with the comfy blanket that she clearly stole off the flight. Mmm-hmm. 2 cents says there were a whole lot of sleeping pills mixed in with that alledged innocent dose of Nyquil…

If you ask me, somebody needs go get the leather belt- this child clearly wants a good beating.

Ok, so I’m doing my morning troll thru the headlines and came across this breaking news story about a random 12 year-old British boy named Alfie who “thought it would be a good idea to have a baby” and knocked up some dingbat 14 year-old chick named Chantelle from around his way.

Apparently there’s all this shock and outrage because these poor (literally and figuratively) children were unsupervised and having sex at such a young age. And wait on it, now all the girl’s neighbors are dry snitching on the parents, talking about, “They let the kids run wild on the street until all hours, they have no control over them.” You don’t say?

Last time I checked, there were more than enough 13 and 14 year-olds in the United States knocked up or pushing a stroller around the hood. And if the Jerry Springer show’s consistent top teir ratings are any indication, there are probably 3x as many undocumented cases in the countless middle America trailer parks.

Call me jaded but exactly what’s the big deal here? Maybe it’s just a slow news day…

I swear ‘fo God, I will never, ever, ever, ever talk about Black people and the names they give (or rather make-up for) their kids again. NEVER.

‘Cause you know what? Ain’t nothing wrong with the name Alexus Camry Laquanna Shalamieka Brown compared to JoyceLynn ARYAN NATION Campbell. Mmhmmm, you read that correctly- JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell is the forreal, forreal government name of some unfortunate white child.

Blame it on the pesky pinktoe sense of entitlement, but Mr. & Mrs. Campbell didn’t have a problem naming her or her two brothers-Adolf Hitler Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Campbell- after murderers and racist institutions. Five bucks say not nary a one will ever hold a government job…

But no worries, apparently because of the blatantly racist overtones of the kids’ names, the parents/ family landed on the Child Protective Services shit list. Go figure. And the other day, the kids were snatched out of the home for reasons yet divulged. Just like that.

Lemme find out all that legal eavesdropping on citizens that George Bush came up with turned out to be good for something…

Will somebody puh-lease explain to me what in the unholy-unsupervised-destined for jail-BeBe’s kids hell is going on in this world?

According to the AP, a four-year old boy in southern Ohio purposely shot his baby-sitter. Yup you read that correctly. But wait on it… the pre-schooler didn’t do it because the sitter was, oh I don’t know, physically/ sexually abusing him or something horrible like that. No, that would’ve been too much like right. This fool shot his sitter because the 18 year-old accidentally stepped on his foot!!! WTF!?!?!?!?
WHO THE HELL IS THIS KID??? Damn Scarface reincarnated? Lil’ dude isn’t even in kindergarten. He probably doesn’t even know his ABC’s or how to count past the number 20… And yet this pint-sized psychopath is popping off at the age of FOUR?? Uh-uh.

If you ask me, his parents need to be the first ones locked up under the jail from now until forever. Mmm-hmmm.
‘Cause why was there a loaded gun laying around in the crib where a four year-old can reach it? And since it’s obviously one of those households where the TV not the adults educate the children-what in the world kind of violent ass shows and video games did they expose him to?
Oh and as for that little mo-fu? His ass needs Jesus.
Damn a juvenile hall. He needs to be locked up in a monastery far, far away with jedi-master monks that can read his mind. And will KARATE CHOP THAT ASS every time he even dreams about doing something out-of-pocket.
It’s officially the end of days. Someone please pull the little red wagon around, I’m tagging out.

Okay, I had to take a sec to give my little cousin Roy (the cute one with the big ears in the top row, center) a quick shout. He was officially named to the 2008 FIRST Team All-FCIAC East Football team in CT. Woo Hoo!!!! I am so proud of him!

OMG, I still remember when he was little enough for me to snatch that badass up with one hand and beat his butt with the other. Now look… he’s bench pressing 265lbs and trying to decide what college he wants to play for.

Uh-uh, I can’t. Vianet, please go get your nephew.



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