According to 66%, if you had to choose between either never getting married or never having children, the next step is definitely the baby. It seems that procreating is way more important than forming a “perfect union.” Interesting. Deep in my heart, I’ve always believed that true single parents (you know, the ones where there is no co-parent to be found AT ALL) are like the repo man in the hood, some of the most courageous people on the planet.

I on the other hand, like the not so courageous 33%, am gonna choose marriage sans babies.

And no, I did not choose this because I enjoy the luxury of walking around my crib in nothing more than a pair of cotton drawers on a sunny Saturday… I just think that at the end of the day, I’m not built for the whole single parent thing. I need help… A LOT of damn help. Like, therapist, nanny, housekeeper AND dutiful husband type of help. All that crying and dirty diapers and running amuck in the name of childhood- just thinking about it is enough to drive me to drink. Uh-uh, if it’s gonna go down, I need the person that helped created the situation to bear his share of burden (read: a shoulder to tap in the middle of the night when the baby wakes up crying like a wild banshee. ‘Cause you know Mommy needs her beauty sleep). Lord knows, I can barely get my life together, let alone raise a kid solo. No sir, we don’t want that at all.

I have a very delicate sense of smell. It’s sensitive to the point where I tear up and act out over what might be considered to most as a barely perceptible odor. I am admittedly the chick sneaking sniffs of my own arm pits on a regular basis just because… And you know what, I’m okay with that.

In an ideal world, no one would have to choose between love and a dream career. But as we’ve all learned from watching TMZ- ain’t no such thing as a perfect world. No matter who you are…

How exhausting is this statement? “Girls from down South are nicer than girls from up north.” Feel free to insert a deep sigh. But as a favor to my boy Jelani, I posed it to you guys after we spent a good hour on the IM debating whether he-who believes that Southern women are “softer” than Northern women- is in the majority.

Well from the looks of it, appearance (and health, I hope) seem to be the priority for the majority of folks. A strong 64% said that you would rather date someone who could potentially never surprise you with a romantic weekend getaway, live in a cold, dark house because it saves a whopping $20 a month, have you cutting coupons for toilet paper or even worse ask you to go dutch at your very own bday dinner IN FRONT of family & friends; than be with someone who is noticeably overweight. True. If you can’t get past jiggly man-breasts and moist backfat, then you just can’t.

How-some-ever, once again I’m rolling with the minority on this one. Like the 36%, I cannot stand cheap people. Worse if it’s a man that I’m romantically involved with. My motto is: life is for the living. There’s a big difference between frugal and cheap. We ain’t gotta ball outta control every single day but good grief you can’t take it with. All that saving every last penny… no sir, mama needs pretty things to keep a happy house. Even if I have to go grocery shopping once a week and replace the mattress every three years because he’s breaking the springs… I’ll be damned if I we go out as a couple with a single girlfriend and homeboy doesn’t inherently understand that he’s expected to pick up the tab for her and I. As my girl Takara so eloquently explained, “one good bout of the flu or food poisoning… and you’ve got the skinny boy of your dreams.” Ha! I know, we ain’t about nothing…

Well, its definitely encouraging to learn that 66% of you have figured out a way to be friends with your exs. Cause I can def remember a time when the phrase, “I hope we can always be friends” was just the polite way to get off the phone. You know, after the whole- “Um no we can’t keep sleeping together anymore” part of the convo. And right before you’d call your closest friend and talk more mess than a little bit about how the entire relationship was nothing short of the biggest mistake of your life and not one of your friends were ever, ever, ever allowed to speak to him/ her again.

WOWOW, so the majority of you guys are not okay with your partner regularly logging on to internet porn, huh? Very interesting.

I gotta be honest, like the paltry 36%, I could care less if my partner watches while he’s working or surfing. As long as you’re not crying about how you can’t afford to take me out cause you’re broke, still putting it down in our bedroom, cleaning up after yourself at the desk and not asking me to help you pick a new position for the bootylicious freak who doesn’t know you from the next serial number that just logged off before you… The way I see it is, if you like it, I love it.

But I guess the 63% do have some valid points… Yes, all those virus and cookies downloaded to the computer will eventually cost money to remove. No, it’s probably not so easy for the average self esteem to accept that their partner fantasizes about another person (even if we know we do it too). Yes, certain stains and smells can be very challenging to remove when in a rush. And no, there’s nothing quite as comforting as the old school bootleg DVD that can be broken in half and tossed in the trash if I get mad enough.

I know, I know, this poll question seemed like a no-win situation. Because realistically, for the majority of us bad credit and crazy co-parents are as my girl Nikki put it, “the equal deal breakers.”
But sometimes in life, we gotta make the hard choices… And don’t act like you haven’t run up on the cutie that made you want to change your religion until he/she explained that they can’t even purchase a new cell phone without a freaking $1500 security deposit or that the real reason they have 7 bolt locks on the door is b/c the ex keeps kicking it in. Mmm-hmmm…

Ultimately, it seems that if absolutely forced to make a choice, 54% of you considered crappy credit to be the worse of the two evils. Clearly current economic concerns are making us say “no thank you” to more than that new pair of Manolos, huh? Well, like that old R&B song said- ‘ain’t nothing going on without the rent.’ And quietly, nowadays you won’t even qualify to view let alone rent that exclusive Riverside Drive duplex penthouse suite, without stellar credit. Shoot, we can always lock up your ex but I ain’t got 10 years to wait on you to get your car out of your auntie’s name.

For the 46% willing to hire a fantastic financial advisor and hold your boo down till that money gets right, kudos. I definitely understand why you put your foot down on the crazy co-parent. Don’t nobody need the phone ringing all times of the night or want folks jumping out of bushes kamakazi style. Sometimes there’s just not enough room or group therapy in the world for three adults in one relationship. Unlike the terrorists who consider suicide bombing a ticket to heaven… everybody ain’t able.

When it comes to making the magic happen, it seems I’m not the only who thinks the second time had better be the charm. According to the first poll of the week, 44% of you were more than okay with cutting a partner off if the sex was still wack after an initial botched performance.

Interestingly, 33% admitted that you’d hang in between 3 to 9 attempts… Hmm, I wonder whether you’re the “talk it through-teach him/her what I like” kinds? And if so, how’s that really going for ya?

And God bless, the 16% of you who don’t think sex is important enough to end a good relationship over. Either you got a mean hand/toy game or your nerves are way better than the mine…

But hands down, three snaps in a circle for the 5% of you who were over it after the initial encounter. And my friends think I have little patience for mediocrity. You yes, are my heroes.

Well at least I know that I’m not the only who has given up trying to sustain the sexy 24/7… Like myself, 42% of you guys feel comfortable enough to break out the comfy cotton from the very beginning of the relationship; $70 La Perla nylon lace thongs be damned.
And while I respect the gangsta of the 14% of you still figuring out ways to stay in a thong or even the silk panties for the duration (or at least until you get that proposal and crossover to the other side), it seems everybody ain’t able.
And just to clarify for the nonbelievers, comfy does not mean grandma. My low rise cotton bikini drawers are SUPER cute… even if they’re not always an exact, exact match with the bra. Oh and trust, when the outfit or mood calls for it the kid is the first one logging on to http://www.trashy.com/ (can I get an amen?)
However, for the most part my butt just wants to be held… and supported properly. And like momma always says-to own box be true (but nothing keeps the GYN away like a pair of breathable cotton undies).

Don’t forget to log on and vote in the next poll!!!