Category: end of days

So I ( like countless numbers of you guys, I’m sure) just listened to Russian Roulette, the new single from ya girl Rih-Rih’s upcoming untitled album for the first time.  Hmmmmm… how can I say this nicely?


This  right here is the kind of song, that makes folks on the edge feel like slitting their wrists, videotaping it and posting it on youtbe.com might be a very sexy thing to do. 

*Insert Dead Fish Eyes*

Like personally, I’d probably listen to this when I was in a funky mood and needed to force myself to cry so that I could get the hell over it or on repeat during those traumatic first 48 hours after a bad break-up.  But for damn sure, not in a club.  And while you’re at it, I’m not sure I even want to hear it on the radio too many times. 

Shooot,  life is hard enough without the suicide theme music.

Here’s the thing-kids can be mean to one another.

It’s not always fair, but everyone understands that it’s just the way life is… But there’s a difference between being mean and being a goddamn psychopath. And I’m sorry but the three little future serial killers from Deerfield Beach, Florida that laughed about setting a fellow classmate on fire over an unpaid $40 debt are definitely the latter and deserve to be sharing a cell with a 6’5″ 350lb lifer named Big Bertha forreal, forreal.

Like seriously? That poor kid has severe burns on 80% freaking percent of his body. Physically and mentally, he will never be the same. I can’t even imagine the pain he’s in right now. Sigh.

And not for nothing, what kind of parents RAISE children that set people on fire? As far as I’m concerned they should definitely bear some of the responsibility when senseless tragedies like this occur. You know some sort of Poor Parenting Penalty where the parents pay a hefty monetary fine AND are sentenced to hard labor.

Cause bottom line- at some point, the B.S has to come to an end.

Okay, you know what? There are definitely times when actions speak louder than words. And this video is screaming right now. Or maybe that was just me after watching it for the first fifty times…. ‘Cause when I tell you, this right here, Made. My. Day.

I can 99.9% GUARANTEE you, this little girl’s parents have NO idea their daughter is jamming on the ones like this. Like seriously? Goldilocks ain’t missed a beat. Matter-of-fact, my old ass would probably sit the hell down if I saw her on the dance club.

Now, I’m hesitant to blame it all on the nanny… For one, most of the nannies I see sitting out in the parks barely want to look at the kids they’re supposed to be taking care of let alone take the time to teach they how to pop their booties.  And quite honestly, there’s just as good of chance homegirl learned it at school from one of her classmates. But still… it damn sure took a nanny to cue the music, videotape the solo performance and put it up on the web. 
Feel free to insert Dead Fish Eyes.
With that said, I’d like to dedicate this to all the Upper East Side and Park Slope parents whose kids are being raised by someone else. Um, Barbie and Ken? It’s time to reassess.

Err-um, what in the lowest-common-denominator-next-stop-is-the-crackhouse hell is happening in the suburbs??

According to the NY Daily News, over the weekend Norwell, Massachusetts authorities arrested a couple for assaulting a fellow patron outside their local KFC restaurant. Why? Apparently, homeboy, 31 year-old Jared Garfagna and his girlfriend, 24 year-old Sara Mohn became pissed off with the slowass service and the two started wildin’ out inside the restaurant.  In response, this random dude asked/ told  them to keep all that crazy screaming and cussin’ to themselves- for the sake of the children (aww, we love the good samaritan who sticks up for the kids).

Unfortunately, that didn’t go over as well with the ghetto Bonnie and Clyde.  At. All. And when dude came outside, the two of them beat FIRE out of him! 

Umm-hmm, the po-po said that Jared cold clocked the man upside the head while good ‘ole Sara got a couple of swift kicks in.  Okay, maybe they didn’t say it EXACTLY like that but… Poor guy wound up with cuts on his eyelids and wrists. Ouch.

Seriously?? Over some damn fried chicken? Sigh.

KFC is the devil ya’ll. 

Okay seriously?  This video looks like it was shot in third world country.  Certainly not on the streets of a major city like Chicago.  What in the hell? Where did these kids get the 2×4 planks that they’re swinging around like bats from? Good grief.  

My heart goes out to the families of all the kids- the one that lost his life, the ones that got injured in the brawl as well as the ones that are about to go to jail for the rest of their lives behind this tomfoolery.

Let the choir sing…

OMG, I was so blown when I heard that the Hostra chick who cried gang rape was straight up lying.  Like, who does that?? Um hello, this is 2009. If you want to get it poppin’ with 5 boys in the bathroom at school dance then that’s ya business.  Granted, you wouldn’t be no friend of mine but still…  go ‘head ma.

The whole situation is tragic.  Putting those boys and their families through the ringer b/c she didn’t want her boyfriend to find out that she was a lil’ fast ass? When all along homegirl was more than a willing participant in the amateur porn shenanigans. 
Not for nothing, if it was MY son that was accused of some random mess like this, I’d press criminal charges in the blink of an eye AND then sue the shit outta that loony tune. Of course, this is after I beat fire outta him for even being involved in some foolishness like running a train with four of his friends. Sigh. I. Can’t.
Jesus be the camera phone that set them free.

On a truly tragic note, South African track star Caster Semenya is now under suicide watch. Jesus.


Apparently, ever since the news of her being a hermaphrodite went public she’s gone into a deep depression. Officials are describing her current behavior as similar to that of a rape victim- she is afraid of herself and she doesn’t want anyone near her. My god. 

And what’s really horrible is that none of this should have ever happened.  The reports from the probe should have never been leaked. And now the whole world is privy to personal information that belonged to her alone. 

In my opinion, the international media treated Caster like an animal and at the end of the day, she’s only a child.  She’s just 18 years-old.  So if you thought 19 year-old Taylor Swift looked like a helpless child on that MTV stage, put yourself in this little girl’s place.  

Real talk, folks have had mental breakdowns for less. (Um hello, Mischa Barton?) I am so sad for her and her family. 

Wow, remember Monifah?  What ever happened to her? Just another casualty of the 90s black lipliner, leather catsuit and remix era, huh? Damn.  You gotta hate it when that happens…


I wonder if we’ll soon be saying the same thing about Maya and Amerie.  Oh wait, we’re already saying it. Oh well.

Looks like the United States isn’t the only country where grown folks are wildin’ out on out of control little kids


Apparently, a couple in England went to dinner at a newly opened Mexican restaurant with their somewhat “outspoken” 2-year old (READ: unruly mini tyrant whom probably deserved a quick pinch under the table).  When their beloved lil’ Molly started to get antsy and fuss (at the top of her lungs, I’m sure) about the service being too slow, the waiter took it a tad personal.  Umm-huh… 

Now I know what you’re probably thinking: ‘Eeewa! He put something in the baby’s food!’ But no, homeboy wasn’t nearly as passive aggressive.  Instead, he kept it 100% live, and listed a line item charge for the  “little f**ker on the bill!  Can you stand it?? 

Jesus take the wheel… cause I can’t.

Can you imagine living in an apartment that smelled so bad, people assumed there was a DEAD BODY inside???

According to the NYPost, the cops were originally called to an apartment complex in Long Island City for a domestic dispute but the noticeable stench and dead flies outside of one of the other apartments caught their attention. So after knocking on the door and getting no response, they reported a possible dead body in the apartment.

Later in the day, fire fighters showed up to bust down the door and recover the corpse. And that’s when a very much alive tenant, Ming Li Sung surprised them by jumping out up from underneath piles of trash, and yelling “Get out! Get out!” *

But wait on it… Not only were police officers on the on the scene straight vomiting from the smell of rotting garbage but when they tried to remove the trash AN ARMY OF ROACHES ran out into the hall!!! Please feel free to insert image of me running in circles, screaming my head off and scratching myself to death right about NOW.

You know, there are so many things wrong with this situation, I don’t know where to begin…

First of all, how are you even able to breathe when the air is so stink that the flies are dying on the outside the apartment?? What you got, an extra pair of lungs?

Then all that jumping up out of the piles of garbage? No ma’am, this ain’t some Jason-Woorhees-meets- Micheal-Myers-in-da-hood-esque movie. That fool is lucky one of those firefighters didn’t split his head in two with a damn axe.

And the river of roaches flooding out of the apartment? Uh-uh… there ain’t no way. If you want to live amongst the roaches and rats your ass is more than welcome to hit the streets. Do NOT play yourself and move next door to me. Cause I am not the one. I would’ve been banging on that door night and day until your nasty ass did something about the tomfoolery.

Now please excuse me while I go take a scalding hot shower.


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