Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

sans polish please…

By on June 18, 2009 in feedback

I just looked at all the sandals sitting in my closet and had to shake my head. I really, really don’t like rainy days in the summer time a.k.a the open-toe killers.


Speaking of toes, a while back I posted this pedi question: 

Would you clip your partner’s toenails?
78% said sure, it wasn’t a big deal
22% wouldn’t do it even on a dare.

Gotta say, I am on the fence about this one right here.  Cause in reality, I’m really funny about people’s toenails being too long.  That whole, dragging on the sidewalk over the tip f your flip-flops?  Oh god, it just makes my nerves bad. 

Mind you, my fixation on feet is hardly extreme (no, there’ll be no toe sucking for the kid) but I definitely appreciate it when men take the time to make sure their respective foot game is on point. 

So with that said, if the length of my significant other’s toenails are bothering me more than him, then yes, I’m quick to offer my services.

But what if your partner has fucked up feet?  You know, the joints that look like bird talons? With all that caked-on dead skin, ginormous bunions and Grand Canyon fissure-like cracks in the heels? Ewwwwwwa (Insert image of me vomiting in my mouth).

Call me funny actin’ but I would be hard pressed to share a bed sheet with anyone who had crazy looking feet, let alone trying to clip the nails. I don’t care how much I like you. As long as you’re looking like close cousins with the barefoot homeless guy outside the Port Authority with all that thick yellow, flaky, fungi growing all up under and around your nails, I’m not the one.

someone’s not celebrating father’s day…

By on June 17, 2009 in made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, never too grown, pocket full of dirty tissue

So I’m reading the NY Post and there’s a story about a 50 year-old man in LaGrange, NY who stabbed his wife AND his teenage daughter in the neck with an ice pick earlier this morning. Which is crazy enough, but what really takes it over the edge is that neither of the two women is critically injury or dead. WTH?


How is possible to get stabbed in the neck with an ice pick and not be critically wounded?  What kind of weakling is this man? And better yet, how did his punk ass manage to stab the BOTH of them? Not for nothing, but even if they were sleeping when the attack started, wouldn’t the screams from the first person to get stabbed wake the next?   

I’ll tell you what, as much as I love me some Elsa, if someone was stabbing her in the neck with an ice pick, I gots to run and get help. Shooooot… ain’t no point in us both getting shanked. No offense.

Jesus be a good pair of running sneakers.

another cdc nightmare…

By on June 16, 2009 in desperate cry for help, it takes a village, why we as a people can't get ahead

Oh Jesus, here we go… 


Even if the weather isn’t necessarily cooperating with those of us in the tri-state area, summertime is here party people.  Wanna know how I know?

‘Cause the New York Times just published it’s annual ‘please-don’t-poop-in-the-pool’ article.  You know, the one where they report on the rising number of people swimming in NYC’s public pools that become infected with a nasty intestinal parasite that’s found in feces? 
Uh-huh,  feel free to vomit in your mouth right about now.

For those that need more details: Cryptosporidium is what they call it. The only way to become infected is through ingestion. And the reason that so many people become ill is because that bad boy can survive as  long as 10 days- EVEN IN CHLORINATED WATER. 

Talking about, “We want people to swim but be healthy about it.” Uh yeah, no thanks. 

Jesus be the cold water in my shower until I arrive at a beach far, far away…

reminds me of my honey days…

By on June 15, 2009 in desperate cry for help, i die, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

It’s been a long while since I’ve come across a blog that I kid you not, makes me want to pee my pants. You know the ones that are so good you can’t help but stop whatever you were supposed to be doing (like work) read every single, solitary entry from wherever it starts until the very end? 

But then, lo and behold- StopnReflect.com
There are no words for the tomfoolery that is this website dedicated to the fashion tragedies that occur New York City.  I implore each and everyone to take a minute and check it out.  
Oh and by the way, you now owe me a good laugh.

not living life in darkness…

By on June 12, 2009 in Mitzi- all day every day

Has anyone NOT seen the post, What Black Women Can Learn From Michelle Obama? I swear it’s been circulating all week like a viral flu…


For those that haven’t, this sentence from the article sums it up: if black women are going to defy the statistics, they need to start being more realistic. Holding out for the perfect man, someone who is intellectual but not nerdy—cool but not arrogant—impeccably dressed but not effeminate—not a player but with just the right amount of edge—is useless.

And you know what my response to that entire train of thought is? YOU SHUT UP.

Cause forreal, forreal, why are we so quick to assume that Michelle was being ‘realistic’ (read: settling) when she started dating Barack? Maybe the First Lady has a thing for skinny bi-racial guys with big ears that are into helping the community and wanna be President?? How do you know that Barack wasn’t EXACTLY what she was holding out for? And so what if the car he was dead broke and driving a hoopie?You ain’t never seen a sexy struggling artist/activist that could get it? Shoot, we’ve ALL seen the pics of him smoking ganja. Ain’t nothing about that man look the least bit nerdy or effeminate- at all.

All I know is, I continue to work DAMN hard to pull myself into a marketable package. And I want to see the same in my partner. 

I refuse to spend a moment (let alone the remainder) of my life with a man that makes me wish I was anywhere else under the sun but with him.  And that’s exactly how I (or anyone that’s willing to be honest with themselves) will feel if we give up the search and start accepting whatever is in front of us…

If I don’t like lame guys, I’m not dating them.  If I don’t like dudes who are excessively overweight, I’m not dating them.  If I don’t like men who spend more time grooming themselves and looking in the mirror than me, I’m just not dating them.  PERIOD. 

I refuse to walk through life in a pair of dark shades so that my significant other doesn’t notice all the side-eye I’m throwing at him just for being him.  And keep it one thousand, if you’ve ever been with someone that works your nerves for no good reason, you understand exactly what I’m talking about.

And on the flip side, I for damn sure don’t want anyone settling for me. If I’m not the one- Keep It Moving Shorty. There are way too many options out there for you to be wasting my time, making me jump through hoops when you already know I won’t ever measure up. No thanks, I’m good. 

Oh and real talk, NONE of the women that I know in relationships/ marriages worth talking about EVER settled.

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