Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

abort mission…

By on February 5, 2010 in desperate cry for help, keep hope alive, too old for the road

Good grief, I’m so glad it’s finally Friday! Not that it’s necessarily the end of my work week, since I decided to take yesterday off… But I’m still happy as hell that there will be less emails coming into my inbox than going out for a couple of days. Sigh.


So are ya’ll ready for some football?

Personally, I’m very excited about the Super Bowl! ‘Cause thanks to the kindness of friends I will be stuffing my face on yummy food as I root my ass off for the Saints. Oh boy, my greedy behind can’t wait!

Howsomever, I’m sure this impending “snowstorm” is probably making a lot of folks that are scheduled to fly down to Miami between tonight and tomorrow morn really, really nervous. (And I say that with quotes b/c since when is six inches of snow during the month of February considered a storm? Isn’t that just winter weather?)

Well if it helps at all, I’ll be thinking good thoughts for ya. ‘Cause ain’t nothing worse than getting all geared up to go slut it out and then unexpectedly being stuck at home. And you know who I’m talking to… (insert serious side-eye)

*lights a candle*

i see dirty people…

By on February 4, 2010 in desperate cry for help, i die, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out, work it white girl

So as most folks know, I am totally obsessed with the A&E show, Hoarders- totally and completely.


My obsession is to the point where I’m seeing the signs of potential Hoarders EVERYWHERE- from the lady in the grocery line buying 100 cans of cat food to the extra-messy looking chick that keeps spilling old food wrappers, crumpled papers and empty bottles of water out of her bag on the subway car. I swear, if you look they are all over!

And while I’m sure some of you probably think I’m a itty bit nutso, I’m TELLING you, that freakin’ Lindsey Lohan is a damn hoarder!

Exhibit A: Just look at this photo of a room in her condo!

What in the unholy-nasty-white-trash-hell is going on? Who lives like this? Talking about, “I try not to go in there… It gives me anxiety being in here. The clutter takes up a lot of space mentally.” Err-um, really??

And this is the same worthless chick that they had the NERVE to pay to be the face of Ungaro? DEAD. Real talk, they might as well have asked the homeless lady that that lives at the end #1 Train subway platform at the 168th Street stop. No offense…

On an upnote, the shameless starlet is going to let The Insider come in and film a ‘De-cluttering Lindsey’ special about her situation that’s scheduled to air next week. So I’ll get to watch the whole shit show up close and personal.

I. Can. Not. WAIT!

god be whispering, so you gotta listen carefully…

By on February 3, 2010 in end of days, it's not a game out there, pocket full of dirty tissue

So Syed Rahman, the bar worker that murdered 24 year-old Ingrid Rivera this past August at Lil’ Kim’s birthday party, finally pleaded guilty, huh? Dang…


Ironically, my girl and I were JUST talking about how unsafe some of these so-called super clubs in the city can be for women and she mentioned this very incident. *cues the creepy horror movie instrumental music*

Honestly, this case was always unsettling to me because I’m a HUGE believer in spiritual signs and paying attention to what the universe is trying to tell you. And ultimately, had ole’ girl not finagled so hard be inside that party, her ass would still be alive. And that’s nothing but the truth.

(For those that don’t know the deets: For whatever reason homegirl got kicked out of the party. Then, the creepy bar worker with his own personal agenda helped her sneak back inside through the service entrance. At the end of the night, she supposedly threatened to tell people that he was the one who let her back inside the club- Personally, I think he prob tried to force her to have sex and she was like hell no and then threatened to tell on his ass. Either way, his psycho ass slit her throat and knocked her over the head. The End.)

Mind you, I’m not judging homegirl. ‘Cause at one point or another, we’ve all thought that if we didn’t get invited or gain access to a certain event, it was going to be the end of days. It’s just too bad, that getting her way cost this young lady her life.

Stay alert party people.

lacing up my kicks…

By on February 2, 2010 in desperate cry for help, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, the internet is the devil

There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to lose those last five pounds. But can you imagine losing 280 pounds and STILL weighing 686 lbs??

YIKES.

Apparently, this British guy (who despite the weight loss still qualifies as the world’s heaviest man), Paul Mason lost the weight to qualify for a gastric bypass. So let’s all pray, he’ll be able to lose more weight pretty quickly…. But my God. Can you just imagine all the skin hanging off of his body when the weight is finally gone?? Can you see it, just layers like that Japanese dog breed the Shar-Pei.

DONE.

Oh but wait on it… before you start to feel bad for homeboy- I just read on some random Flickr post that dude (who is a former postman) was arrested and imprisoned for stealing mail. And while he was serving his sentence he lost mad weight. But since his release, he’s been chilling at home, living off of welfare and eats MAD junk food.

DEAD.

is this your super…

By on February 1, 2010 in end of days, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

I spend a lot of time complaining about all the things that suck about my apartment building. You know the whole, corner boys at the door instead of a legit doorman, the neighbor’s dog using my doormat as her personal Wee Wee pad, having to play hide and seek with the hot water every other day, and the list goes on… But one thing I’ve never worried about was my super being a damn LEVEL 3 SEX OFFENDER.


So my heart goes out to all the tenants living in the Upper West side buildings owned by Stanley Katz (specifically at 144 W.73rd, 140, and 142 W.75th Streets).

‘Cause I know you pay RIDICULOUSLY more rent than I do and definitely don’t deserve to go to sleep at night knowing that a man who raped a teenager and attacked three little girls between the ages of 5 and 7 while forcing other children WATCH the abuse, holds the spare key to your apartment.

*DEAD FISH EYES*

That is all.

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