Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

eye on the prize & the crazy white woman…

By on June 21, 2010 in cuteness kills, Mitzi- all day every day, work it white girl

So today is the first day of the Catherine Malandrino summer sample sale. Normally, I’d be dancing on table tops in eager anticipation of all the beautiful goodies that I was about to score at 40-60% off retail.


Howsomever, out of respect for my 2010 personal savings goal (oh you know, to have some sorta savings to leave behind for my kids when I kick the bucket), I will not be attending.

SILENCE

For those that know me and how happy those dresses make me, this is a tragedy that borders on epic proportions. READ: had it not been for the long, hard come to Jesus with my accountant AND my therapist, I’d probably put my damn self on suicide watch for the next three days.

*inhales deeply and exhales slowly*

Yes, it’s that serious to me.

Perhaps the only thing helping me through my self-imposed shopping fast is the fantastic news that the third season of The Rachel Zoe Project featuring my favoritest fashion bish of all time, Rachel Zoe kicks off on August 3rd. WOO HOO!

And wait on it… come Fall 2011, that neurotic lunatic will be launching her own fashion line including apparel, accessories and shoes. OMG, I DIE!

*the angels start to sing*

Whew! Okay, frivolous girlie moment is over, back to work.

bout to cop ron’s new single & a bag of tht indian yaki…

By on June 18, 2010 in it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

Couple of things and then its back to grind:

1. Congrats to the LA Lakers! I am not and will never be a fan of Kobe Bryant but one monkey don’t stop no show. Like it or not, when it mattered the entire team dug in and managed to turn that game around in the 23rd & 1/2 hour. And not for nothing, Phil Jackson is one of my favorite professional coaches. So here’s to Phil and one particularly psychic Laker fan, ya’ll made the magic happen last night. Le sigh.

2. Vanessa Bryant and the bedazzled mini-Kobes were a lot. Like seriously? I swear her and them lil’ girls were down on center court faster than freaking security! Granted, we all know Mr. Bryant told her to have that ass front & center if/when they won but still… Can you relax and stop throwing cut-eye while that man celebrates with his teammates? Jeesh. (Lord knows, if the 1st Lady of the Lakers was African-American, folks would be calling her clingy ass all kinds of emasculating right about now. SMH. That good-good hair works wonders, I tell ya.)


3. Ron Artest is everything to me today. So proud of that man for giving props where it’s due and shouting out his therapist!! I can only imagine how much craziness that poor woman had to wade through before she got his mind on the right track. DEAD FISH EYES. Say what you want but maybe if a more athletes and “high powered” men (um yes, I put that shit in quotes for a reason) would carry their macho asses to therapy, there’d be less drama and confusion poppin’ off. Looks directly at Michael Vick, Kwame Kilpatrick, Plaxico Burress, Lil’ Wayne, Lawrence Taylor, T.I., and every fool ass Black man with a lil’ money and influence that’s been in the headlines for some extra preventable bullshit.

4. THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT of the entire post:If Rajan Rondo is need of any type of extra-curricular hand-holding/ comforting between now and next season, puh-lease be sure to point that adorable knobby-kneed boy in my direction. Not now, but right now.

Thanks.

filling my prescription early…

By on June 17, 2010 in cuteness kills, i'm not ready to be a grandmother, Mitzi- all day every day

So today’s the day the FDA decides whether to approve a drug to boost women’s libido a.k.a. the highly anticipated Viagra for females… Interesting.


I see a lot of experts are on the fence because they believe a lowered libido in women is less physical than mental. And therefore, they feel it should be treated with psychotherapy or counseling versus medication. And quietly, they probably have a valid point.

But I’ll tell you what- if God forbid, my libido ever slows down, I don’t want to spend a single, solitary minute talking about wanting to have sex. Nope, not even one. Just gimme the damn pill and let me get back to getting it on.

DEAD FISH EYES

Seriously, can you imagine how many relationships and marriages would be saved if all a woman had to do was pop a pill and suddenly be turned on by their partner? Man listen…

Just LOOK at the majority of men you know who are in their late 30s, early 40s. How many of them have already noticeably deteriorated from rock hard, 6-pack toting, he-can-get-it-all-day, 20 year-olds into the extra comfy, soft tummy, man boobs and flabby arms cause the most consistent exercises they’re doing are talking ish to their boys and lifting the remote control grown men? Mmm-hmm… Now wait on it, imagine what that’s gonna look like at 65??

*grabs the smelling salts*

And don’t get me wrong, I’m no more mad at the dudes than they are with us women. Change is a part of life. Fuck what Dr. 90210 told ya, having the body of a 21 year-old until the day you die is NOT NATURAL. I refuse to be working out 5 days a week for the rest of my life. No way. And neither should my husband. ‘Cause when I’m 75 years old I d not want the man in my bed to be all hard body, knees, and elbows. Uh-uh, to hell with that. Yours truly is gonna need something nice and easy to cuddle up with on them cold nights.

HOWSOMEVER, if said soft & squishy man expects me to be gonna be playing find-the-penis under his 6 pound belly on a regular basis then a little picker-upper will probably go a long way. The End.

*drops the mic and walks away*

sunshine on a cloudy day…

By on June 16, 2010 in it takes a village, using our powers for good


Err-um, have you seen Jada on the cover of the new issue of Essence? Woah. Homegirl is H-O-T.


Even more fire is the ‘Why I ♥ Being A Black Woman’ feature.

Like seriously, what a breath of fresh air to see such a positive cover line on an already breathtaking cover! And guess what? The inspiring opener was written by my fabulous & prolific co-author Denene Millner. All I can say is: if there was ever a question, here is your answer.

I know there’s a recession and all but take my word for it, it’s worth the splurge. Purchase this month’s issue of Essence. You will not regret it.

Another fantastic job ‘Nene!

a little too sunnyside up is all…

By on June 15, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

So Drake’s highly anticipated 1st studio album finally drops today…


*crickets*

Err-um yeah, think I’m gonna wait a minute on that one. Oh and let me be clear, not b/c I don’t believe it has the potential to be a good album. I’m sure it will be more than fine. I mean, the kid is talented- overexposed- but certainly talented.

And speaking of overexposed, I honestly think I’m just a little tapped out on the emo-rap right now… Granted, first it was Successful, then it was the Best He Ever Had, next he was trying to Find Your Love, certainly there were Fireworks but now, it’s Over.


BLANK STARE

I’m sure with enough airplay in the hood over the summer, I’ll soon recover from this temp aversion. But for right here, right now, the whole ‘I’m a suffered rapper who rhymes about running through young impressionable girls like a car wash b/c one random girl didn’t support my dream & broke my heart into a ka-million pieces’ has run it’s course.

Thanks.

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