Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

the year of the downgrade continues…

By on July 12, 2010 in love be a cellulite cream, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, that sense of entitlement

And to think, I was worried that missing out on all of last week’s Oscar Grant and LeBron James craziness was going to leave me with nothing to discuss this morning.


*mails a thank you card to Terius Nash*

Sigh. Oh The Dream… Getting caught on the romantic rendezvous in the Caribbean with your slutty personal assistant? Really? Does it get more cliche than that?

I must say the images of Terius in his beachwear glory: extra snug pink-n-white striped board shorts, jiggly man-boobs and Buddha gut with the dark permanent side crease frolicking in the ocean with the equally sloppy body trick (how are you’re supposed to be the sexy sidepiece w the loosey goosey tummy & unflattering flattering 2-piece, ma?) for the all of the paparazzi to photograph sickens me to my soul.

But I guess we shouldn’t be that surprised that the Umpa Luma is this sloppy. His comments about Christina and their home life since she got pregnant have been nothing short of blatantly disrespectful. And that’s to say nothing of the ignorant first single from the crappy ass album that he released last week, “Make Up Bag.” Talking about, “If you ever make your girlfriend mad. Don’t let your good girl bad. Drop five stacks on the make up bag.”

Simple ass negro.

Granted, I’ve always thought Christina Emillian was kind of typical. You know what I mean: cute, marginally talented with some very obvious signs of gold digger tendencies when it comes to the men she chooses to date. *shrug* But still… ain’t no lifestyle worth this type of humiliation. At the end of the day, homeboy put the ring on it. Knocked-up or not, the two could’ve just co-parented if he didn’t intend to TRY to be monogamous.

Maybe LaLa and Melo were onto something by waiting five years to actually get married….

puttin myself in the timeout corner…

By on July 7, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

For the record, I had the bestest time down in New Orleans. I literally ate till I made myself sick- catfish, po’boys, oysters, alligator sausage, friend chicken liver, beignets and hurricanes galore. And then was back at it 20 min later- No judgements please. Saw some really great shows for free- Janet and Mary tore the Superdome DOWN. And that’s to say nothing of the plethora of friendly eye candy…


Cough *you already know* Cough
Yeah, it was a pretty fantastic. But it’s nice to be back in New York. Even with the 102 degree weather, there’s still no place like home.

Howsomever, part of being back at the crib means making the money to keep the A/C on. Le Sigh. So in an effort to catch up on some very overdue work, I’m gonna have to take the rest of the week off from the tomfoolery and focus.

No worries, I promise to be back at it next Monday. Until then…
*cues Empire State of Mind at maximum volume*

feeling real jazzy…

By on July 2, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

Are you ready for the weekend?!? I sure am. ‘Cause yours truly will be celebrating the Fourth of July down in N’awlins at my very first Essence Music Festival.


READ: eating myself into a complete cajun stupor for the next the three and a half days.

*wipes the string drool dangling from the corner of my mouth*

So while I’m busy putting back on the pounds that my trainer has so painstakingly helped me lose over the last 2 months and jammin’ on the ones to Alicia, Mary and Janet “Ms. Jackson If You Nasty’, you all have yourselves a wonderful holiday weekend!

*cues the soundtrack to Treme and gets to steppin’*

BBQs, Warm Weather & Fireworks for E’rybody!!!

hope she’s workin somewhere w a cool breeze…

By on June 30, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

So this is what the redesigned Wonder Woman cartoon looks like, huh?


*struggles to find something nice to say*

Yeah no, I’m not a fan. She just seems extremely pale, super slimmed down, way more conservatively dressed and her overall vibe so damn dark. Like forreal, what’s really hood with the burgundy colored lipstick in 2010 and black dog collar? And please don’t get me started on those random square-toed boots. Hellloooo…. don’t you think by now, Wonder Woman would’ve upgraded her shoe game to a fly ass pair of stiletto boots??

BLANK STARE

At the end of the day, I don’t understand the need to even update her to this extreme. Not for nothing with Beyonce, Lady Gaga, et al, making leotards and tights acceptable day wear, it’s extremely plausible that she’d still be running around kicking ass in a shiny vintage onesie with stars on her booty.

Shoot, if you were the superhero, wouldn’t you?

speech, speech…

By on June 30, 2010 in it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day

Oooh-ee, it’s good to be me today. Not only did I finally get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, but I woke up in one healthy piece to celebrate the 12 year anniversary of my liver transplant! Yep, TWELVE YEARS. Can you imagine? WOO HOO!!!


*cartwheels across the living room*

Now normally, I’d spend this day running the streets with my mom or BFFs. BUT in light of the recession, an impending bar examination and recent births, I’m forced to stay my fast ass at home and accomplish some work. Le Sigh. But before I return to the grown-up portion of this 2nd life…

I wanna give a quick shout to all the people and things that have helped me see another year:

-God... for blessing me in more ways than I’ll ever know. Good lookin’ on the save this past summer. It was definitely a little nervous but as always you came through.

-Elsa… for being my being my sounding board. I know I be talking a straight hole in your head but if not you, who?

-My Entire Family… I never underestimate the importance of knowing the origin of my craziness. Not to mention all the great home-cooked meals you guys have provided along the way!

-My Meds… I realize that very transplant recipient isn’t lucky enough to find the right combination. I appreciate every handful that I’ve swallowed.

-My Friends… Ya’ll knuckleheads inspire, motivate and amaze me with the non-stop shenanigans. I am so blessed to have folks in my life that I can depend on to flip a table or two when i’sh hits the fan. In return, I promise to change all names and incriminating details when I drop the tell-all.

-My Mentors… I stand on the shoulders of giants, especially when it comes to my career. ‘Preciate all the fab women and men who have talked my scary behind through my moments of crisis.

-My Agents… Your subtle threats get me up and working every morning. I appreciate your steadfast faith. And any moment now, I pinkie swear to deliver on those proposals.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

-The Brazee Family… Your selfless generosity during a time of unspeakable tragedy is the reason that I am here today. Truly, there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not aware of the second chance that I was given because of your loss. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

*curtsies and exits stage left*

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