Mitzi Moments

Category: pocket full of dirty tissue

its all about choices…

By on August 24, 2010 in cuteness kills, made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, why we as a people can't get ahead

Why lawd god, why????

Who in the hell told Fantasia she could get away with wearing a skin tight dress sans the proper undergarments? Like, in life? Let alone, for a nationally televised appearance on Good Morning America? I can’t. My eyes hurt from looking at this craziness.

Yes, I know that the super strength, full body slimmers can be kinda pricey. And yes, I understand that she was already two seconds off of dead-ass broke before racking up the new medical bills. But still…

I think I can comfortably say that the majority of us would much rather see Fanny repeat an outfit or two rather than look at pictures of her saggy boobs, side roll ripples and flabby belly hanging over the top of the generic low-rise Spanx (which for the record, should never be peeping out from under the dress, thanks).

There’s got to be a better way.

(And you know I’m trying to be a better person, because I’m not even gonna go in on the ridiculous sideburns, extra pale pink lip gloss that does nothing for her lips or how filthy the tattoos on her legs make her appear. Thank you very much.)

this is for danita…

By on August 20, 2010 in cuteness kills, it's not a game out there, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

Happy Summer Friday everybody! As the summer winds down, I hope you’re using every last minute to cut up in the sunshine.


Oh and before you head out the door, here’s yet another face from the back of the ‘missing 90s R&B singers’ milk carton for you to be on the lookout for… Have a great weekend!

u get no points for originality…

By on August 17, 2010 in end of days, it takes a village, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

So eer-um yeah, about the unemployed, single mother of three in South Carolina who just confessed to suffocating her two sons to death with her bare hands because she was stressed out, dead ass broke and felt overwhelmed? PAUSE. Oh and my fave part? That the 500-lb beauty queen tried to cover-up the murders by recycling a new version that crazy white woman, Susan Smith’s story about losing control of the car and it (along w the babies) would up at the bottom a nearby lake…. ‘Cept I guess she decided to skip the part about the carjackers, huh?

SIGH.

Um Precious…. kids are not kittens. You don’t bag ‘em up and toss them in the lake when the litter gets to be too much. You just don’t. Dummy.

I swear, I have Z-E-R-O sympathy for women that CHOOSE to have a whole gang of kids and when ‘ish hits the fan- they suddenly can’t cope. At All. Newsflash: being a parent is so much more than sperm meeting egg in your uterus. I don’t care what the Bible tells you, if your life is a shit show to begin with, don’t bring another helpless dependent into nonsense.

*looks directly at the pro-life zealots protesting outside of abortion clinics around the country*

Again, it’s craziness like this that should serve as a wake-up call to Republicans and conservatives who want to restrict access to birth control. Cause if didn’t nobody else figure it out; trust me, the good Lord himself knew that this woman didn’t have any business having THREE children. Raising them by her damn self. In poor ass South Carolina.

Geesh.

feel better fannie…

By on August 11, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

Dang, I feel kinda bad for Tasia. I mean, just a little.From the winner of American Idol to hiding in a closet while trying to OD on an aspirin& sleeping pills cocktail? YIKES. That’s a looong, hard, humiliating fall.


And over what? a dude that when shit hits the fan, is no where to be found?

(Like seriously, I can get totally accept that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with a man that worked in a T-Mobile store and CLEARLY, planned to live off of whatever monies she had left after supporting every last member of her family. But what I cannot accept or remotely understand is why was it the diarrhea- mouth manager discovering her in the back of the closet? Where the hell was Mr. Cook?)

Aye mami, lo siento.

But what’s done is done, just ask Britney Spears. The important thing is to learn from the lessons that God gives us. So while you’re laying up in the padded room trying to figure out how Angelina & Alicia ended up with rings while your ass on Nancy Grace’s hit list, remember this: SILENCE & DISCRETION ARE GOLDEN.

READ: Enough with these ridiculous damn statements! You sound a mess and nobody believes a single word. The. End.

Wishing you a speedy recovery…

atlanta stand up…

By on August 9, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

“When things go bad, people want to look good. When things are good, people want to look better.”


Err-um well alrighty then, I guess that’s all there is to that.

Now if someone, ANYONE could please explain what in the unholy- dredlocked-hairbug- hell is hanging from Big Bad D’s chin, life would be complete.

art imitates life…

By on August 5, 2010 in desperate cry for help, it takes a village, pocket full of dirty tissue

So err-umm…. yeah.

Not for nothing, It was a lot easier to listen/ enjoy this song before I watched the video. Although I must say, it definitely reinforces why I avoid those box-cutter, manic love type relationships like a cold sore on Christmas day. I don’t care how good the make-up sex is… I don’t EVER want anyone to love me like this.

Oh and am I the only one who felt super uncomfortable watching Rih-Rih make those faces as she sung the chorus? Like, you can’t be a victim and simultaneously be down for the get down. Doesn’t work like that. It’s just my opinion (well shit, its my blog), but I’m thinking she should’ve done much more crying than mean mugging. *kanye shrug* It seems waaaay too soon for her to be leering and ice grilling at the camera in regards to anything remotely related to domestic violence ma.

Too. Soon.

pick your poison…

By on August 4, 2010 in pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

Don’t Republicans and conservatives seem a just a tad hypocritical for jumping all over the government for the illegal immigrant who accidently killed a nun while drunk driving yet they are saying next to nothing about the legal gun owner in Connecticut who intentionally killed 8 of his co-workers then offed himself?

BLANK STARE

Perhaps they don’t want to discuss what happened in the predominantly white area of CT because the shooter, who was one of only two Black men at the entire beer distribution plant, had been complaining of racial harassment. according to his family, he’d even shown them pictures of racial epithets and a stick figure with a noose around it’s neck that he’d snapped in a men’s restroom at the plant. Matter of fact, in the middle of going all postal a la his namesake on ‘The Wire’, Omar called his mother and confessed to killing 5 racists ‘that was bothering him.’

SMH. You got to do better people.

need to put the bullseye right btwn their eyes…

By on August 3, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

Hmm, so Goldman Sachs has announced that despite being legally able (for the first time ever), they will not spend any money in the 2010 elections.


Well isn’t that nice and civic oriented of them to stay out of politics and mind their business? Fingers crossed, they’ll take the money that they’re not using to buy elections and instead make a donation to various job creation, community service type organizations across this same country whose economy they’ve managed to destroy. *shrug* I’m just saying.

On the other hand, I sure wish Target had taken a clue…

It is with a broken heart that I recently learned that one of my most favoritest mass retailer has contributed $150,000 in cash and services to MN Forward, a PAC in Minnesota that supported the election of Republican Tom Emmer governor of the state.

It turns out that not only is Emmer anti-gay marriage but he also very publicly supports You Can Run But You Cannot Hide Intl., a Christian right organization that calls the execution of gays and lesbians morals.

But wait on it, when they were called to the mat for making this donation they basically responded by saying we make political decisions based on business not civic rights. (READ: To hell with your human rights, and how you feel. we’re helping out whomever is gonna keep business taxes low).

SILENCE

Corporate America sucks. And while it may be all about business to them, civic rights are important to me and all my friends. The End.
If you agree, feel free to sign the petition and let them know.

lookin more like the Bronx…

By on July 29, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead



So I’m really starting to believe that ignorance is way too underrated. Mmm-hmm… There are just some things that I’m just never going to understand and clearly, better off never even knowing about.


Exhibit A: the seeming “normal” French couple that just so happened to have eight and counting newborns buried in their backyard garden?

BLANK STARE

EIGHT babies? Dude, how were they able to snatch EIGHT (probably more) babies and nobody noticed? Now I don’t have kids, so I could be wrong… Howsomever, if my newborn offspring suddenly went missing, I’d probably want to tell somebody. You know, like file a report with the police, do a TV appearance, maybe put up a flyer…. or something. Right? SMH.

I’m just so confused.

Oh and for the record, the attached six minute Bodega Queen- Busted remix that I receive courtesy of one GPayton, is NOT helping my state of mind. At all.

*proceeds to vogue on the corner*

stealin’ sneakers from behind the speakers…

By on July 26, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, i die, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out, too old for the road, why we as a people can't get ahead

So I started out the day thinking, “Wow. I really need to say an extra prayer for President Obama. ‘Cause it seems like every other day it’s something else. If it’s not the recession, health care, BP’s oil spill or an improper firing of an official then it’s the leaking of classified military documents that make the entire administration look CRAZY for A) allowing top secret info to get out and B) continuing to send our soldiers into a war that we obviously cannot win. It’s too much.


BUT THEN, I saw the senseless tragedy that are the pics of Foxy Brown from her performance at B.B. Kings on TheYBF.com…

Umm.

First of all, who are her family and friends? Because aside the fact that some fool co-signed on the idea of a wearing brown leather mini in the middle of July- as a woman, I can take one look at this ridiculous contraption and know that she needed about two or three strong people to help squeeze her fat ass into it. So before I even go a sentence further, be very, very clear, whomever those people are- they HATE her. HATE.

Now beyond the obvious treachery, what the hell happened to her body? I’m not saying people aren’t allowed to gain weight. Especially since Foxy has clearly been on a permanent hiatus since Jay-Z stopped hitting her off with lyrics and whatever else your dirty little minds can imagine. DEAD FISH EYES. But forreal? What in the lopsided hell happened to Inga? About the skinny chicken legs, multiple Michelin tires around the waist, fat boobs hanging out around her belly button and still no eyebrows in 2010? Uh, uh Ms. Marchand, no bueno.

And the absolutely worst part to me? WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HER TEETH?? Why in the world is it all dark, black and empty where her back molars should be?? AAAHHHHH! And ya’ll already know, how I feel about the dentist… *gags* But I’ll tell you what, this rotten tooth smile nonsense right here makes me want to bump appointment up to like, tomorrow.

I mean… I’m just so sad. It’s so awful how far she’s fallen. SMH. Perhaps we should all just be thankful that her cotton panties match her nail polish.

No? Not going for that? *kanye shrug* Fuckkit. At least I tried…

*cues Brand Nubian’s ‘Slow Down’ and turns it ALL the way up*

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