Category: Mitzi- all day every day

So me and my girls went out on Tuesday night. You know, tis the season to be heading out into freezing cold in the middle of the night half-dressed in the name of a some holiday party or in this case, my friend Patty’s 40th Bday Bash. Now, overall the outing was actually really fun times. I mean, thanks to D. supplying us with the live entertainment as she got her grind on with the random guy who just so happened to be wearing one of those ex-con home arrest ankle monitoring bracelets. Uh-huh, as in ‘I just got out 12 hours ago and wanna get my party on before I have to check-in with the C.O.’ Mmm-hmmm, very Law &Order classy. *DEAD*

Moving on- because I told her that I wouldn’t talk about her momentary lapse of sanity. But I know ya’ll can keep a secret- Why are my ears STILL ringing from the damn music two day later??

Like seriously, yesterday I had an interview for this cool non-profit that I hope to be working with in 2010. And the whole time I’m sitting there trying to read lips and trying not to speak too loudly. Sigh. Uh-uh, my nerves are too bad for this kinda ish.

Needless to say I’m now, walking around here convinced that that loud ass sound system and wackass DJ- who randomly launched into this loud ass techno/ Pop Rock set in a room full of black people (where they do that at?)- has permanently impaired my hearing. Good grief.

Of course, none of this is going to stop me from carrying on with the rest of the holiday festivities. No sir. I will be up in Sin City tonight celebrating Karina’s birthday… Even if a bish gotta wear earplugs.

Don’t judge me (or my locked down lovin’ friend).

It’s amazing how quickly this year has flown by! It’s like one minute I was standing in the bushes (literally), freezing my ass off in DC watching the first Black President of the United States get sworn in and now I’m trying to figure out how many more hours of exercise I’m going to have to add to my lazy ass workout routine to balance the ridiculous amount of food I plan to consume tomorrow afternoon. Crazy.


There’s so, so much to be grateful for… Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Things I learned on this vacation:

1. The sun is not my friend. The last thing I remember is laying out poolside with a drink. The next time I looked in the mirror, all I could only see the whites of my eyes. Not cute.

2. It is not a smart idea to laugh as the ocean drowns you. Real talk? One sec I was “frolicking “in the waves the next I’m upside down underwater- funniest shit ever. I’m still picking the sand out of my scalp as I type.

3. Being subjected to the sound of heterosexual sex through the hotel walls is way less uncomfortable than listening to homosexual sex. Mmm-hmm, you do the math.

4. Never take water pressure for granted. Forget the shower, that lag time on the toilet flush is a killer. Seriously.

5. There’s nothing like a direct flight. No offense to the folks in Texas but if I never, ever, ever see the Houston airport again in LIFE, it will be too soon. Nationwide computer glitch my ass…

Thank you Cabo for the sun, ocean and tranquil days but I’ll tell you what, there’s no place like home!

Good God, I’m tired.


Like, seriously I haven’t gotten a good night’s rest in weeks. I have trouble falling asleep and keep waking up every couple of hours for no good reason… I woke up the other morning and not only were there bags under my eyes but PURPLE bags. Boo. I love my life but Mama needs better pillows, less environmental stimulation (read: all that damn late night construction outside of my window) and a timeout ASAP.

So I’m taking off for the next couple of days off…

Gonna go chase the sun and find a little breathing room on a nice white sand beach. I’ll be back on Tuesday. Have a wonderful weekend party people.

Psst, guess what?

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

WOO HOO!!! Go Mitzi, it’s ya birthday! Go Mitzi, get busy! Go Mitzi, go, go, go!! Insert image of me grinning like an ass, doing the running man across my living room, as I sing an off-key Stevie Wonder version of Happy Birthday at the top of my lungs.

I am so freaking excited to see another year in the crazy world, there are no words. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of my friends and family who’s love, support and positive energy helped me make it through. ‘Cause lord knows this past year was a helluva roller coaster ride….

*Dead Fish Eyes*

But you know my motto: I’m never mad at the stair steps that lead me to the life I’m destined to live.

So here’s to keeping it moving and all the wonderful surprises that await.

I hate rainy Fridays. Something about it just takes the joy out of my countdown to the weekend. Sigh. But I guess we are in the middle of fall, so I shouldn’t complain too much. At least there’s no snow on the ground.


On an up note, the new Jimmy Choo for H&M shoe and clothing line goes on sale tom morning. Not that my ass is going to be getting up anywhere near early (I’ve got my girl Tricia’s wedding to attend tonight), it’s nice to know that the average person (with a foot size between 5 and 9) can now enjoy the fabulosity. Step lively ladies.

And the happiest news of the dreary day, the tickets for the Lady Gage/ Kid Cudi show at Radio City are about to go on sale. Needless to say, I’ll be cutting this little entry short to jump on Ticketmaster.com and cop mine.

Consider it an early bday present…. hint, hint.

It sure is hard being a parent nowadays, huh? Not that I would know a damn thing about it BUT I gotta admit, reading the recall notice on ALL the Maclaren strollers sold in the US since 1999 kinda made my childless-by-choice nerves bad.


I’m saying, not one or two but TWELVE little kids had a finger chopped off? Woah.

But wait on it… Apparently Maclaren has known about the manufacturing defect for FIVE years. And yet, did absolutely nada. Talking about they were under no legal obligation to report the issue… Err-um, please feel free to insert the classic *Blank Stare W/ Three Blinks*

As if there isn’t enough things in the world to worry about when it comes to the babies? Now, you gotta be careful you don’t “traumatically amputate” a finger or two? Uh-uh, no thank you.

Aside from my steadily growing girl crush on Lady Gaga, there’s not much about today’s music that raises an eyebrow from me anymore. It all seems like one long song about a guy who’s either trying to get to get his girl back after a long list of offenses or trying to pour champagne down the next chick’s throat on her birthday. *Dead Fish Eyes* That is up until I heard about Ghostface Killer’s new R&B-style album, Ghostdini Wizard of Poetry in Emerald City…. Pause.


Er-um really, Ghostini? Really?

Mind you, Ghostface has long been my pick for the sexiest of all the multiple Wu-Tang members. (Um, don’t act like that fool wasn’t completely off the chain in the ‘Chercez La Ghost’ video rockin’ the kelly green full length and du-rag… No? Okay, perhaps that was just me and my proclivity for the extra ignorant ‘ish.) But still. As much as I want GK to succeed and be some sort of relevant, I simply can’t co-sign on the waxing poetic w/ extra suspect John Legend.

Yeah, I said it.

Quick shout to my girl, Nicole for hooking a sista up with a ticket to Game 6 of the World Series last night. There are no words to express what an AMAZING experience it was to watch my favorite team in the entire UNIVERSE win their 27th Championship title in the new stadium. And to think, I didn’t even have to perform unspeakable sexual acts live on the Times Square Jumbo-tron for it…


Seriously ma? I owe you my first born.

All I can say is: WHO’S YOUR DADDY?

Note to my beloved agent: I know I promised that I would meet that godforsaken deadline you’ve given me. And I swear, I really, really meant to… But unfortunately, the world is going to hell in a hand basket and it makes it a bit difficult for me to come up with funny, entertaining things to write about. Don’t believe me? Check it out:


-A 14 year old teen just admitted killing his 4 year-old neighbor. Apparently, he sodomized, drowned and then stuffed the poor little kid in the dryer to keep folks from thinking he was a child molester. *Dead Fish Eyes*

- a 29 year-old incest survivor who is imprisoned for cutting off and boiling her father’s penis, is now taking cooking classes at Rikers. Seriously? I’m not saying ‘ole dude didn’t get what he deserved BUT I’m just a little unclear who would ever okay this chick being in anyone’s kitchen like, ever.

- The number of corpses found at the former US Marine turn serial rapist/ killer’s crib in Cleveland is up to ELEVEN. And apparently, they haven’t even started breaking down the walls of the home

-Oh and Mayor Mike Bloomberg was re-elected.

So the next time you call and I’m hiding under my bed. Don’t ask why.

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