Okay, I know I’m all late with it BUT something this good worth repeating over and over again.
So apparently, a 12-year old was arrested about a weeek ago for throwing a rock through the windsheild of Soulja Boy’s tour bus.
As if that wasn’t enough to put a small smile on your face…
When asked why he threw the rock. He replied simply-” I hate Soulja Boy.”
OMIGOD, I am peeing on myself right now!!!!! I think I love this kid. He has single-handedly restored my faith in the future of hip-hop.
So as I drag my tired/sore/achy behind home through the icy winds from my early morning bootcamp torture (we were outside on the track running laps from 6.45am ), I started thinking about my girl Betina’s bday dinner last night. Alebit a brief get together for myself- unfortunately, I had to exit stage left before the meals were served to get some sleep for bootcamp- I had a really, really good time. Why?
Check this out…
Of the twelve amazing women there (11 black and 1 Asian), only one of us was in a relationship that we could or even wanted to claim. And no, it wasn’t me or the Asian chick. Mind you, all of these women are at the top or very near the top of their game (except for me again… I’m still begging folks to buy books so that I can keep the lights on). And that’s definately not what made it a good time.
Here’s the fun part…
NONE of us seemed sad or depressed about it. NOT A ONE. I promise you, every single one of the eleven women was straight chilling. And it wasn’t on some ‘bitter-scorned-women-who-hate all men’ type -ish, it was more like, we’re all in a really good place with or without a significant other. There was this positive overall sense of being more relieved NOT to be in a half-ass relationhip than concern about being single ” at our ages.” I swear, Oprah would have been so proud of us!
I mean sure, we mockingly complained about our struggle to connect on the long term with any new men with a 4-year+ college degree/ 410k investing/ 1 baby or less having/ decent looking/ interesting personality/ passport using or as in my personal case, the above average bedroom skills to which I’ve become accustomed. ‘Cause we’ve all got amazing exs… And just to ensure that we continue to do our part, as of next week, Nicole and Melissa will be valiantly leading a group of us to weekly pole dancing classes so that we can err-um, keep our credentials updated. Hee-hee…
Sigh. It was just one of those wonderful a-ha moments that remind me why I love living in NYC.
I woke up this morning stricken with what can only be described as my own personal version of SARS: my throat was aflame, pajamas drenched in sweat, head thumping, face bloated; just looking and feeling crazy. You know those horrible 24-hour flu viruses that come from out of nowhere and reduce you to a sniveling child who is calling her mother at 3.30am talking ’bout, ‘I’m dying?’ Yeah, you better act like you know.
So anyway, as I’m moments away from my deathbed (or at least what feels like it) my girl Ayana, god bless her heart, hits me on IM (which is nothing but a tool of the devil. But that’s another day’s post). Now mind you, I haven’t heard from Ms.Thang in a minute. Turns out, she too had fallen victim to this flu business about a week ago.
And I have to say, encouragd by the words of sympathy and solidarity from a survivor, my spirits immediately begin to perk up. Not to mention, who doesn’t love the homegirl that’s going to offer to get me anything I need to feel better?
But wait on it… I can have anything I need that will fit in a FedEx box- cause she aint coming within 500 feet of my contagious behind! LOLOL, I love my people I tell ya.
But we absolutely adore Bridget and Karmen (respectively), my two new pinktoe lesbian friends that I picked up on my trip to Tahoe. Aren’t they the cutest couple?
These two were non-stop hilarity the entire four days. Allegedly, they were out in Tahoe filming an episode for their new online show on LOGO.com. But if what they were doing is work, I need to switch my gender preference immediately. And yes, I made several guest appearances in hopes of increasing my dating market share- JUST KIDDING!!!
But really, I did get into nothing but straight tomfoolery with these two as we valiantly attempted and failed miserably to learn how to snowboard at Mt, Rose(at least Karmen and I failed. Bridget that bee-yatch managed to leave us behind flat on our butts in the snow). I personally blame it on our bootleg instructor Aaron who totally pushed poor Karmen down the hill backwards when he got distracted by a cute girl passing by. She almost died-swear to god
Thankfully, we made up for our pathetic showing on the slopes with a bomb day of skiing at Northstar (which a ka-billion times better slopes than Mt. Rose) and riding the snowmobiles. Kinda of a cross between riding a horse and a motorcross, it’s officially my new favorite way of getting around in the snow (even if the helmet smushed my hair into a mushroom). For the record, anytime 40 miles an hour feels like 90mph, I’m pleased. Sigh. The cold is good.
As many of you know, it takes a lot for me to say a party was jamming on the ones. But my hairdresser Edris THREW DOWN last night at her five-year anniversary party!! (Quietly, the reason I’m posting this late is because I spent the entire day trying to recover from last night.)
When I tell you that I was greeted at the door by a seven foot drag queen whose job it was to deign me officially a fierce bitch before granting access… It was like THAT.
The DJ played all the 80’s classics from Prince to Madonna to Michael to the Eurythmics, everyone was dressed up in eighties attire- fluorescent spandex, dolphin shorts, transvestites and lace gloves galore; breakdancers; a strobe light; celebrity impersonators; open bar and good food. I had so much fun!!!
Why can’t there be good parties every Monday night? Sigh.
So there are alot of things that add to New York City’s unique charm. In my humble opinion, topping that list is our city’s rich history. The Big Apple has been around a looooooong time. You can tell by the look, feel and yes, even grime of the city. But hey, it’s my home and I claim it. Couldn’t imagine living anywhere else… except maybe LA for the right upper six-figure deal… but I digress.
What I will not claim is the tomfoolery that is NYC gov’t lame attempt to hold things together with gum and spit. Can someone please explain to me why in the world the roof of this C line subway train barely being held together by simple duct tape that anyone can cop at the local hardware store? WHY? I’m saying, this aint no bottomless pothole that might wreck a car or two. We’re talking about a vechicle for MILLIONS of people. If you ask me, fixing this raggedy roof is probably more important than giving me another $135 parking ticket for parking in front of a fire hydrant for 30 secs while I ran in to but my MegaMillion lotto ticket. I’m just saying… Don’t you think?
Sigh. Let the prayer circle commence.
So exciting, I just found out that my new teen book HOTLANTA (hitting stores at the top of april) received a favorable review in Publisher’s Weekly! To put it in perspective, PW picks are the Golden Globes to New York Times Bestseller Ocar gold. Normally, PW picks receive favorable treatment from bookstores, magazines and in the case of teen books- LIBRARIES. ‘Cause it’s all about having HOTLANTA shelved in every singel high school library from here to Kalamazoo… Read what the nice lady had to say about my book:
And so I ask again, have you pre-ordered your copy of HOTLANTA yet????
All the diehard fans of the NY Giants. Year after year, those poor white boys trek out to the Meadowlands and sit in the freezing cold for hours at a time just to watch their team lose (further proving my personal theory that white folks have wallrus skin).
Therefore, I believe NOBODY, not even David Tyree who had the most amazing catch I’ve seen in YEARS and probably woke up this morning unable to move his neck, deserves it more than the the WBs. ‘Cause you know where us ‘sometimey’ black folks were up until the team actually made it to Arizona- in our houses, WARM, talking smack about how the Giants wasn’t neva gonna make it..