Mitzi Moments

Category: it’s not a game out there

it’s the little things…

By on September 1, 2010 in end of days, it takes a village, it's not a game out there, using our powers for good

Praise God!


Just when it seemed like we were living in a world full of psychopaths who
toss newborn puppies into a river for kicks and deranged sickos who drive heated nails and metal particles in to the legs and head of their own maid because she complained about being overworked, Cee-Lo saves the day by releasing the official video to his single, F*ck You! And, it is absolutely perfect.

*happy sigh*

Enjoy!

it wouldn’t have been me…

By on August 31, 2010 in it's not a game out there, Mitzi- all day every day, why we as a people can't get ahead

Okay this is random as hell but my scanner hates me. I’ve been sitting here for the past hour trying to scan 3 raggedy ass articles that I wrote a THOUSAND years ago into a PDF file and it refuses to co-operate. I swear I’m about to jump out my freaking window… Woosah.


Now that i’ve gotten that off my chest, did you guys hear about Mahesh the tiger that jumped a 14-ft fence at a public wildlife preserve in South Florida called Jungle Island?

Mm-hmm, apparently, the craziness all started when one of the monkeys managed to escape from it’s own cage. After swinging around the food court area, the smart ass primate decided to go and harass the tiger. Well, I guess Mahesh wasn’t in the mood for the bullshit. And with a single running leap, the 700-lb cat cleared the fence (which is actually 2 feet higher than regulation height) and landed in the park with the totally unprepared patrons. But wait on it, the official spokesperson for the preserve had the never to tell news reporters that, “I know it’s hard to believe, but the folks in the park really weren’t in any danger. Cause the tiger is “used to people.” Really?

BLANK STARE.

Oh but my favorite part? The folks in the video that hung around long enough to see the tiger wander around, brush up against a pregnant woman and come within 10-feet of them. Yo. Who waits for all that to happen? At the very WHISPER of a wild animal escaping it’s cage, I’m BOUNCING. Like, the Road Runner- I’m gone. Trust, I don’t give a damn what a tiger looks like up close. At. All.

Good luck.

this is for danita…

By on August 20, 2010 in cuteness kills, it's not a game out there, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

Happy Summer Friday everybody! As the summer winds down, I hope you’re using every last minute to cut up in the sunshine.


Oh and before you head out the door, here’s yet another face from the back of the ‘missing 90s R&B singers’ milk carton for you to be on the lookout for… Have a great weekend!

u get no points for originality…

By on August 17, 2010 in end of days, it takes a village, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

So eer-um yeah, about the unemployed, single mother of three in South Carolina who just confessed to suffocating her two sons to death with her bare hands because she was stressed out, dead ass broke and felt overwhelmed? PAUSE. Oh and my fave part? That the 500-lb beauty queen tried to cover-up the murders by recycling a new version that crazy white woman, Susan Smith’s story about losing control of the car and it (along w the babies) would up at the bottom a nearby lake…. ‘Cept I guess she decided to skip the part about the carjackers, huh?

SIGH.

Um Precious…. kids are not kittens. You don’t bag ‘em up and toss them in the lake when the litter gets to be too much. You just don’t. Dummy.

I swear, I have Z-E-R-O sympathy for women that CHOOSE to have a whole gang of kids and when ‘ish hits the fan- they suddenly can’t cope. At All. Newsflash: being a parent is so much more than sperm meeting egg in your uterus. I don’t care what the Bible tells you, if your life is a shit show to begin with, don’t bring another helpless dependent into nonsense.

*looks directly at the pro-life zealots protesting outside of abortion clinics around the country*

Again, it’s craziness like this that should serve as a wake-up call to Republicans and conservatives who want to restrict access to birth control. Cause if didn’t nobody else figure it out; trust me, the good Lord himself knew that this woman didn’t have any business having THREE children. Raising them by her damn self. In poor ass South Carolina.

Geesh.

all kinds of sick & twisted…

By on August 16, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, it's not a game out there


Err-umm yeah… so what’s really hood, Detroit?

Lemme find out that robbing and raping defenseless 90 year-old women is what’s up in The Motor City? Like, forreal? That’s how ya’ll celebrate GM posting a profitable quarter? By attacking the elderly?


BLANK STARE.

It goes without saying, there’s a special place in hell for individuals that move through the world this. You know, right along side the nut jobs that torture animals and molest children. Mmm-hmm, I’m pretty there’s room right THERE.


Oh and not for nothing, I actually disagree with her grandson. I HOPE the streets find these two goons before the police figure it out. Cause honestly, jail is too easy… Too easy.

let this be a swift lesson…

By on August 5, 2010 in end of days, it ain't easy, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, why we as a people can't get ahead

So from what I understand the senseless event in this video occured because homie was “trying to make a funny video for YouTube.” Um, make a funny video for Youtube? Like that’s an occupation now? SMDH. I can’t.

Ya’ll fools gonna learn to stop cooning for the camera…

spit goes both ways…

By on May 25, 2010 in going to hell in a handbasket, it's not a game out there, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

So I just read the article in the NYT about the 51 bus drivers taking an average of THREE months paid leave after being SPIT on by an angry rider in 2009. And wait on it, in the past year, 80 drivers have already reported being spit on at some point by an angry rider.

SILENCE.

There are so many things wrong with that statement it’s hard for me to get started.

*Inhales deep, deep calming breath*

First of all, who SPITS on people? I don’t know if this became some sort of fad after the craziness of that dirty white girl hocking a fat ball of phlegm at fellow contestant ‘New York’ during season one of VH1’s Flavor of Love but I’ll tell you what…. This ain’t no damn reality TV. You can get AIDS, swine flu and all kinds of foolishness from contact with the wrong person’s saliva. Spitting on someone is beyond nasty, it’s life threatening.

If I was the bus driver, I would’ve taken that as a straight up attempt of my life, and wilded the hellout. Forget taking days off a work, I’m johnny-on-the-spot. I’m gonna do my damndest to shove that ‘ish right back down your throat. I’m just saying, don’t try me.

DEAD FISH EYES.

But on the other hand, unless that saliva started to burn the flesh off your body- there’s NO GOOD REASON anyone should require 3 months or in the case of one man, 191 days paid leave to recover from a spitting incident. Nope, not at all. You’re a New Yorker goddammit. Man up and pull yourself together.At the most take a couple of days, get all your blood tests done, relax your nerves and get back at it.

Cause in case you hadn’t heard, there’s already a freaking MTA budget shortfall to the tune of $400 million dollars.

Blank Stare W/ 3 Looooong Blinks.

Bottom line: I fell your pain. But if you’re that damn scarred, you need to go drive a taxi or snow truck or something. But for God’s sake, don’t bilk my already paying-through-the-nose, single-with-no-kids taxpaying self. Please and thanks.

*kanye shrug*

this is gonna take more than a visit from Obama…

By on May 17, 2010 in end of days, it's not a game out there, moment of silence, tagging out

So yeah, about that ridiculous City of Detroit SWAT team debacle that left the innocent 7 year-old girl, Aiyana Jones dead is beyond my comprehension this morning. The End.


This is the type of unnecessary tragedy that makes me physically ill. Like, I want to get back in the bad and stage a do-over on my entire life. Cause it makes it makes absolutely no sense. How can anyone honestly believe that this is the land of the free when clearly our most vulnerable citizens are clearly living under siege??

To read that her father was face down in his own daughter’s blood breaks my heart while the actual culprit was in another part of the building?? ??And then blame the grandmother for this unconscionable decision to shoot into a smoky room where you KNOW there are children??

I. CAN’T.
And, not for nothing, what the HELL kind of incompetent people are certified for the lead position a SWAT team, but can’t subdue an elderly woman without shooting her? Huh? *insert serious side-eye*

I’m just curious.. Where they do that at?

like sand in the hourglass…

By on May 17, 2010 in end of days, it's not a game out there, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

WOW, I can’t believe it’s been almost a MONTH since the BP oil explosion and subsequent leak in the Gulf… And it’s still going strong. According to this morning’s NYT BP engineers finally achieved some success at containment on Sunday when they used a mile-long pipe to capture some of the oil and divert it to a drill ship on the surface of the well head. Some success? Hmmm… Now for the record, I’m all for keeping hope alive and whatnot. Howsomeva, not quite so sure that’s going to be much of a comfort when folks on South Beach are looking at smelly brown water with dead fish floating on the surface. I’m just saying.


BLANK STARE

*jumps online to buy stock in rubber water shoes and book personal vacays in Europe and Africa for the next decade*

dialing now…

By on May 14, 2010 in it takes a village, it's not a game out there, tapped out, why we as a people can't get ahead

Is it me or does it seem like every third woman you see on the street is knocked up? I mean, I know that sex is one of the few things that you can still get for free nowadays but still… it’s becoming a little nutso w the morning sickness mafia. Blank Stare. But at least the five knocked-up people I know are certain to be good parents.


Which is clearly more than anymore than anyone could’ve said for wackass Jessica Bruce who despite being 6 months pregnant decided to engage in a high-speed car chase with the cops on Wednesday night.

*cue the tragedy theme music*

Apparently, the 21 year-old refused to stop her car when the po-po tried to pull her over for speeding. Allegedly, she was drunk. But bigger than drinking and driving while pregnant, in the Georgia woman’s haste to get away; she crashed into one car, spun into oncoming traffic, was hit by another car, totaled her ride and ultimately had to be cut from the wreckage of her car. Her baby died.

Charges of feticide are pending.

Time to call E-Boogie and thank her being such an amazing mother.

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