There’s nothing like the morning after a music awards show; always so much drama and confusion to discuss.
There’s nothing like the morning after a music awards show; always so much drama and confusion to discuss.
Can you imagine living in an apartment that smelled so bad, people assumed there was a DEAD BODY inside???
According to the NYPost, the cops were originally called to an apartment complex in Long Island City for a domestic dispute but the noticeable stench and dead flies outside of one of the other apartments caught their attention. So after knocking on the door and getting no response, they reported a possible dead body in the apartment.
Later in the day, fire fighters showed up to bust down the door and recover the corpse. And that’s when a very much alive tenant, Ming Li Sung surprised them by jumping out up from underneath piles of trash, and yelling “Get out! Get out!” *
But wait on it… Not only were police officers on the on the scene straight vomiting from the smell of rotting garbage but when they tried to remove the trash AN ARMY OF ROACHES ran out into the hall!!! Please feel free to insert image of me running in circles, screaming my head off and scratching myself to death right about NOW.
You know, there are so many things wrong with this situation, I don’t know where to begin…
First of all, how are you even able to breathe when the air is so stink that the flies are dying on the outside the apartment?? What you got, an extra pair of lungs?
Then all that jumping up out of the piles of garbage? No ma’am, this ain’t some Jason-Woorhees-meets- Micheal-Myers-in-da-hood-esque movie. That fool is lucky one of those firefighters didn’t split his head in two with a damn axe.
And the river of roaches flooding out of the apartment? Uh-uh… there ain’t no way. If you want to live amongst the roaches and rats your ass is more than welcome to hit the streets. Do NOT play yourself and move next door to me. Cause I am not the one. I would’ve been banging on that door night and day until your nasty ass did something about the tomfoolery.
Now please excuse me while I go take a scalding hot shower.
OMG, this video clip of Oregon State football player LaGarrette Blount dropping Boise State’s Byron Hout like a bad habit is CA-RAZY!
I only pray that lil’ dude doesn’t lose his football scholarship behind this craziness… Not because I think LeGarrette was right for losing his temper. Cause I don’t. Good sportsmanship is a vital part of the game and Lord knows, there’s NOTHING worse than a sore loser (cough, Kanye West, cough)…
HOWSOMEVER, I am a firm believer that there’s a reason parents teach children to talk with their mouths and not with their hands. At the end of the day, when you lay hands on folks, you besta be prepared to get dealt with. Period.It’s because the LAST thing we need is another unemployable, angry black man roaming the streets talking about what could’ve been had the man not held him down. Feel free to insert huge sigh and eye roll. No offense, I’m just saying….
Huh. Halfway through July and I still can’t figure out where to go on vacay this summer… Sigh, it’s not looking good for the kid.
Dang! The po-po ain’t catching no breaks this week…
Here’s the thing, I’m all for fashion forwardness. I love seeing new trends emerge (so about to cop an adorable one-piece pantsuits) and disappear (baby doll dress be damned).
Raise your hand if you managed to get up at the crack of dawn (approximately 6:10am for those on the east coast) to watch President Obama’s speech in Cairo live? Yeah, me neither.
It’s official- Toya & Dre’s Super Sexy Second Wedding is a wrap! Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I am free at last! No more multiple dress fittings, late night invitation stuffing, frantic shoe shopping, last minute make-up appointments or drama-filled weather report watches to endure.
Okay seriously? White women are not , I repeat, they ARE NOT handling the stress of the recession well AT ALL!
Like seriously? Picture this frazzled white woman (see photo), pulling over to the side of the road in her expensive ass SUV/car and screaming at the top of her lungs- “BOTH OF YA’LL LIL’ GOOD-FOR-NUTHIN’ HEIFERS GET THE HELL OUTTA MY CAR!!!”
OMG, I can’t even breathe I’m laughing so hard right now. Bump that, I’m WHEEZING like a damn asthmatic!!! Cause you know, that right there is some end-of-the-line, to-hell-with-timeout, I’m-kickin’-you-out -I-don’t-kill-ya’ll-dead type ish!
Wait on it tho… While the 12 year-old was able to run, catch up with mom’s car at the next light and beg her way back in; not so much for the little sister. That one got left behind
But instead of carrying her ass home (like any halfway intelligent Black kid would’ve done), the 10 year-old went dry snitching to the cops. And when Ma-Dukes came to pick her up from the station, the po-po arrested that ass for endangering the welfare of a child.
Jesus take the wheel, I am DONE.
I hate the first day of my period. Okay, perhaps hate is a strong word. Let me rephrase that: I really dislike the first day of my period.
Every single time without fail, I’ll wake up on said morning with the starving African orphan-esque bloated belly, killer lower back pain and feeling extra extra evil. Like it’s so not a game for those initial minutes after the wake-up. All the way up until I finally figure that ‘duh, I got my period! That’s what all the drama and confusion is about!!’
Thankfully, I generally wake up alone. So, time permitting, I’ll promptly proceed to lay around in the bed, tossing from side to side, feeling sorry for myself and watching things that make me cry like Steel Magnolias/ the Christian the Lion youtube video for about half a day or at least until I remember those times when the period was late… ‘Cause please believe, nothing makes a woman pull it together and be grateful for a little cramp more than the memory of the times you had to commence the prayer circle and send the bloodhounds out to find it.
Uh-huh… Jesus be the 25th day.
But wait on it… so this morning before I could even get in a good hour of the whole ‘woah is Mitzi on her period’, I noticed an online article about a white woman in England who’s allergic to WATER. Can you imagine? Apparently Michaela Dutton has a rare allergy to water called aquagenic urticaria. Therefore anytime her skin gets wet, she breaks out in a painful rash!! YIKES!
Mind you, the post is 100% PC and solely focuses on the fact that this poor woman can’t even hold her own son because his sweat hurts her so much. Which I will definitely agree, is a heartbreaking issue. But you wanna know what I think is really, really the most tragic aspect of this situation? This woman CAN’T BATHE. For her entire life, she’s just been STINK.
I mean think about it. How can she possible take a shower? EVER? She busy talking about “people don’t come around anymore because they think I’m contagious.” No my dear, folks don’t come around cause you SMELL. I can’t.
Between this and the 22 year-old Boston University medical student killing Craigslist prostitutes in hotels for thrills, I had to cut the pity party short. My life is too damn good. Onward my people.