Mitzi Moments

Category: it ain’t easy

happy earth day…

By on April 22, 2010 in it ain't easy, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

So Obama is in New York City this afternoon, popping off the warning shots at Wall Street bankers and financial industry lobbyists. Interesting. I’ll be curious to see how this one goes over. Although quietly, what I’m really wondering is how many of the execs at Goldman Sachs simply decided to take the day off to avoid the ridiculous amount of gridlock that’s about to shut down lower Manhattan. Since it’s so nice out and they’ve still got those ginormous bonuses to burn anyway… I’m just saying.


DEAD

And not for nothing, I can’t tell you the last time I watched an episode of South Park. To be honest, white frat boy humor has never really been my cup of tea or should I say bottle of beer. But there;s something kind of unsettling about the fact that an episode of a freaking cartoon can cause a terrorist group to issue death threats like they were coupons for Macy’s weekly 1-day sale.

*blank stare with 3 long blinks*

Dear Lord, I’m trying to be a better person in 20100 but there are moments I tell ya… There are moments.

it aint right but i understand…

By on April 15, 2010 in desperate cry for help, it ain't easy, made for the maury show, that sense of entitlement, work it white girl

Please don’t let the recent jump in the Dow Jones fool you. Unfortunately, hard times from this international recession seem to be far from over. And therefore, we should all continue to be on the lookout for the crazy. Cause just when you least expect it, it’s out there.


Case in point: The 65 year-old woman in Amsterdam that felt like she had been overcharged on monthly utility bill.

Apparently grandma tried to contact the utilities company to dispute the outrageous bill (which was almost $84,000 American bucks) but the electricity got cut off before she could make the call. So when the utilities worker showed up talking about he was gonna cut off all her service, don’t you know homegirl LOCKED THAT ASS UP!?!?!?

CRICKETS

Mmm-hmm, talking about, she wasn’t letting him turn off a damn thing until the company addressed the cause of the overpayment and set up some sort of payment plan. But wait on it… why the police had to come and arrest ‘ole girl before she was willing to let dude go??? I can’t.

Imagine trying to explain to your family and friends that you were trapped and locked up by a damn senior citizen. DEAD. I know that dude was pissed! Here he probably thought it was going to be an in-and-out job. At most, lasting no more than 15 min. Uh-uh, not even close… Senior Sally was on some straight Stephen King, MISERY type ‘ish. Trapping folks like wild animals!

Tell you what- I don’t care what his salary was before this, they just don’t pay enough for the crazy I tell ya. Nope, not at all.

spirit sucks anyway…

By on April 7, 2010 in end of days, it ain't easy, it's not a game out there, pocket full of dirty tissue

Here’s the thing- I understand that the rising prices of gasoline makes the cost of air travel ridiculous. So as much as I resent the idea, if I insist on checking a bag, then I simply suck it up and pony up the extra moolah. End of the story. But there is a limitation to the stupidity. And ladies and gentlemen, I do believe Spirit Airlines has jumped the shark.

According to Metro Newspaper, as of August 1st Spirit Airlines intends to charge passengers up to $45 for any carry-on luggage they store in the overhead compartments. No hun, you read that correctly- you can only bring one item that fits under your seat or you’re going to be charged an additional fee.

Oh and wait on it… when questioned about the new policy the smartass Chief Operating Officer of Spirit Ken McKenzie replied, “Bring less, pay less. It’s simple.”

BLANK STARE

Err-um Kenny boy, how about this – More fees, less passengers. That’s simple too.

Seriously? This is ridiculous. How often does the average person board a plane to go somewhere that only requires one change of clothes and a toothbrush? So what, now you’re going to have folks blocking access to the aisles because they’re trying to cram an overnight bag under the seat to save $50.

Boo, hiss, boo.

tardy to the party…

By on March 23, 2010 in honorary white woman, it ain't easy, keep hope alive, made for the maury show, that sense of entitlement, work it white girl

Uh-oh, it looks like married women are no longer turning a blind eye on this recent mistress/ sidechick uprising that’s been popping off on a la ESPN’s Steve Phillips, Tiger Woods & most recently, Jesse James.It seems a humiliated 60 year-old North Carolina woman sued her ex-husband’s mistress for 9 MILLION dollars for willfully wrecking thee 33-year long marriage. Oh and guess what? She won.


Puh-lease don’t ask me how I missed this in yesterday’s NY Post… But thank God for Young, Black & Fabulous, huh?

So now forreal, forreal, what do you think? Should a wife/husband be able to sue the home wrecker that ends a marriage? Theoretically, she/he is NOT the person who signed the legally binding marital contract. Or more importantly, the individual who promised in front of God, family and friends to be faithful to the union? Hmm…

Whether we like it or not, ‘ish happens. To play devil’s advocate, there are many times when the other person isn’t even aware of the marriage. And in those SPECIFIC cases, I’d prob say get you a top of the line divorce lawyer and call it a day.

BUT…

If it can be proven that some no-home-training- having individual was deliberate and malicious in their intent- have at it. Leave no stone unturned when searching for ways to make that person’s life a living nightmare.

It is what it is.

spare me the tell-alls…

By on January 6, 2010 in end of days, it ain't easy, tagging out

I hate to admit it but, I do believe 2009 left me completely void of empathy for the celeb shenanigans. Go figure.


Sure, there was a small part of me that felt shocked when I heard about Gilbert Arenas’s simple ass pulling a gun out on his teammate over a gambling debt. But an even greater percentage of my response was very whatever. Like, that’s the best you got Gilbert? No offense.

Yeah, after giving it some thought, what I’d really like to see in 2010 is a lot less basic bloopers and silly stunts and a whole hell of a lot more of celebs doing their freaking jobs. You know, ENTERTAIN me.

It sure would be nice to have an exciting championship series or even a fabulous album to discuss… I’m just saying.

they’ll be reruns in the summer…

By on December 30, 2009 in it ain't easy, it's not a game out there, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, why we as a people can't get ahead

Wow, so are we really not going to have the Fox Broadcasting channel in 2010? ‘Cause from the sounds of things, Time Warner is not budging on this whole price hike situation. Can’t say I’m mad. I’m extremely tired of paying outrageous prices for cable when I don’t really enjoy half of the shows on television. And truth be told, I can’t even name a show on Fox besides 24 and Family Guy (or is that on the CW) that is worth talking about.


Times are tough, go hard.

Speaking of going hard, DAYUM Teddy! How you smacking your 18 year-old daughter upside the head with a freaking Guitar Hero guitar?? And then wait on it… your old unapologetic ass goes and tweets that “you’d do it again”? *EPIC Fail*

Be clear: I don’t have problem the first with him laying into her ass (even if she is 18 years-old). The way my sister and I were raised, if you chose to live at home after graduating from high school, you could and would catch a bad one if and whenever you popped off at the mouth.

Like Elsa told me, “Don’t like it? Think you too grown for the beat down? Then by all means, move the hell out.”

And take my word for it- she was NOT playing. I caught my last bad one at 21 when I came home from school for Xmas break. Yeah, you read that correctly, 2-1. And I ain’t never, ever forget that ‘ish either! Sigh. God bless my Panamanian mother’s heart…

So no, my issue is not with the whooping. It’s with him using the guitar. I’m just saying… Were there no leather belts, extension cords, wooden spoons, plastic spatulas within in arms reach? Oh and please don’t sleep on how much an unexpected pop-pop to the mouth (hard enough to stun but not enough to bloody) can do for a smart mouth or a bad attitude. Mmm-hmm…

hola mi gente…

By on November 24, 2009 in it ain't easy, keep hope alive, Mitzi- all day every day

Things I learned on this vacation:

1. The sun is not my friend. The last thing I remember is laying out poolside with a drink. The next time I looked in the mirror, all I could only see the whites of my eyes. Not cute.

2. It is not a smart idea to laugh as the ocean drowns you. Real talk? One sec I was “frolicking “in the waves the next I’m upside down underwater- funniest shit ever. I’m still picking the sand out of my scalp as I type.

3. Being subjected to the sound of heterosexual sex through the hotel walls is way less uncomfortable than listening to homosexual sex. Mmm-hmm, you do the math.

4. Never take water pressure for granted. Forget the shower, that lag time on the toilet flush is a killer. Seriously.

5. There’s nothing like a direct flight. No offense to the folks in Texas but if I never, ever, ever see the Houston airport again in LIFE, it will be too soon. Nationwide computer glitch my ass…

Thank you Cabo for the sun, ocean and tranquil days but I’ll tell you what, there’s no place like home!

good girl needs prayer

By on October 20, 2009 in end of days, it ain't easy, tagging out

So I ( like countless numbers of you guys, I’m sure) just listened to Russian Roulette, the new single from ya girl Rih-Rih’s upcoming untitled album for the first time.  Hmmmmm… how can I say this nicely?


This  right here is the kind of song, that makes folks on the edge feel like slitting their wrists, videotaping it and posting it on youtbe.com might be a very sexy thing to do. 

*Insert Dead Fish Eyes*

Like personally, I’d probably listen to this when I was in a funky mood and needed to force myself to cry so that I could get the hell over it or on repeat during those traumatic first 48 hours after a bad break-up.  But for damn sure, not in a club.  And while you’re at it, I’m not sure I even want to hear it on the radio too many times. 

Shooot,  life is hard enough without the suicide theme music.

no mas…

By on October 13, 2009 in it ain't easy, Mitzi- all day every day

See now, I’ve been trying my best to be a better person and not talk ish about celebs b/c I understand that they are people with feelings just like the everyone else…  But dammit, I swear ‘fore God,  Christina Milian and The Dream are gonna take me back to the dark side.


What in the paying-the paparazzi-to-pay-attention-hell is up with these two?  

I swear, these knuckleheads are like the 2009 version of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey during their MTV reality show heyday. They’ll show up for the opening of a damn tuna can. And is it just me or does the constant whoring for the paparazzi seems even worse now that Christina is knocked up? Sigh. It’s exhausting. 

Oh and Christina? Not for nothing, can you please inform ya man that those extra, extra sm-medium jackets aren’t doing a squat to hide the jiggly man-boobs. I’m not mad at you for appreciating the comforts of all his soft and squishy folds of his sympathy weight gain.  Howsomever, I’d rather not be a witness.  At. All.

Here’s a thought: why don’t you go sit down and give both of your swollen ankles a rest?? I’m just saying.

extra pickles and ketchup please…

By on October 6, 2009 in it ain't easy, Mitzi- all day every day, tapped out

Oh God, so yesterday morning I read the most disturbing article about the ridiculous amounts of e.coli that go undetected in beef processing despite all the new safety precautions. In fact, this one woman who was a dance instructor literally wound up in a coma and became freaking paralyzed after eating a tainted pre-packaged burger.  Can you imagine?  


I have to tell you, reading that story was more depressing than watching the women interviewed in Chris Rock’s new hilarious flick, Good Hair openly admit that given a choice: they’d spend $1K on their weave before they’d pay rent/ mortgage. Um-hmm… Mind you, I already knew how folks get down about their hair- hell hath no fury like a bald-headed black woman- but still… 

Granted, this isn’t the first time that I’ve been warned about the dangers of beef.  But at the end of a shitty day, nothing says love like a couple of my super-duper homemade tacos. But now, thanks to the chick in the wheelchair, I’m gonna have to rethink all of that. Sigh.

Don’t you hate it when you gotta do better just cause you know better?

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