Author: Mitzi

Good grief, I’m so glad it’s finally Friday! Not that it’s necessarily the end of my work week, since I decided to take yesterday off… But I’m still happy as hell that there will be less emails coming into my inbox than going out for a couple of days. Sigh.


So are ya’ll ready for some football?

Personally, I’m very excited about the Super Bowl! ‘Cause thanks to the kindness of friends I will be stuffing my face on yummy food as I root my ass off for the Saints. Oh boy, my greedy behind can’t wait!

Howsomever, I’m sure this impending “snowstorm” is probably making a lot of folks that are scheduled to fly down to Miami between tonight and tomorrow morn really, really nervous. (And I say that with quotes b/c since when is six inches of snow during the month of February considered a storm? Isn’t that just winter weather?)

Well if it helps at all, I’ll be thinking good thoughts for ya. ‘Cause ain’t nothing worse than getting all geared up to go slut it out and then unexpectedly being stuck at home. And you know who I’m talking to… (insert serious side-eye)

*lights a candle*

So as most folks know, I am totally obsessed with the A&E show, Hoarders- totally and completely.


My obsession is to the point where I’m seeing the signs of potential Hoarders EVERYWHERE- from the lady in the grocery line buying 100 cans of cat food to the extra-messy looking chick that keeps spilling old food wrappers, crumpled papers and empty bottles of water out of her bag on the subway car. I swear, if you look they are all over!

And while I’m sure some of you probably think I’m a itty bit nutso, I’m TELLING you, that freakin’ Lindsey Lohan is a damn hoarder!

Exhibit A: Just look at this photo of a room in her condo!

What in the unholy-nasty-white-trash-hell is going on? Who lives like this? Talking about, “I try not to go in there… It gives me anxiety being in here. The clutter takes up a lot of space mentally.” Err-um, really??

And this is the same worthless chick that they had the NERVE to pay to be the face of Ungaro? DEAD. Real talk, they might as well have asked the homeless lady that that lives at the end #1 Train subway platform at the 168th Street stop. No offense…

On an upnote, the shameless starlet is going to let The Insider come in and film a ‘De-cluttering Lindsey’ special about her situation that’s scheduled to air next week. So I’ll get to watch the whole shit show up close and personal.

I. Can. Not. WAIT!

So Syed Rahman, the bar worker that murdered 24 year-old Ingrid Rivera this past August at Lil’ Kim’s birthday party, finally pleaded guilty, huh? Dang…


Ironically, my girl and I were JUST talking about how unsafe some of these so-called super clubs in the city can be for women and she mentioned this very incident. *cues the creepy horror movie instrumental music*

Honestly, this case was always unsettling to me because I’m a HUGE believer in spiritual signs and paying attention to what the universe is trying to tell you. And ultimately, had ole’ girl not finagled so hard be inside that party, her ass would still be alive. And that’s nothing but the truth.

(For those that don’t know the deets: For whatever reason homegirl got kicked out of the party. Then, the creepy bar worker with his own personal agenda helped her sneak back inside through the service entrance. At the end of the night, she supposedly threatened to tell people that he was the one who let her back inside the club- Personally, I think he prob tried to force her to have sex and she was like hell no and then threatened to tell on his ass. Either way, his psycho ass slit her throat and knocked her over the head. The End.)

Mind you, I’m not judging homegirl. ‘Cause at one point or another, we’ve all thought that if we didn’t get invited or gain access to a certain event, it was going to be the end of days. It’s just too bad, that getting her way cost this young lady her life.

Stay alert party people.

There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to lose those last five pounds. But can you imagine losing 280 pounds and STILL weighing 686 lbs??

YIKES.

Apparently, this British guy (who despite the weight loss still qualifies as the world’s heaviest man), Paul Mason lost the weight to qualify for a gastric bypass. So let’s all pray, he’ll be able to lose more weight pretty quickly…. But my God. Can you just imagine all the skin hanging off of his body when the weight is finally gone?? Can you see it, just layers like that Japanese dog breed the Shar-Pei.

DONE.

Oh but wait on it… before you start to feel bad for homeboy- I just read on some random Flickr post that dude (who is a former postman) was arrested and imprisoned for stealing mail. And while he was serving his sentence he lost mad weight. But since his release, he’s been chilling at home, living off of welfare and eats MAD junk food.

DEAD.

I spend a lot of time complaining about all the things that suck about my apartment building. You know the whole, corner boys at the door instead of a legit doorman, the neighbor’s dog using my doormat as her personal Wee Wee pad, having to play hide and seek with the hot water every other day, and the list goes on… But one thing I’ve never worried about was my super being a damn LEVEL 3 SEX OFFENDER.


So my heart goes out to all the tenants living in the Upper West side buildings owned by Stanley Katz (specifically at 144 W.73rd, 140, and 142 W.75th Streets).

‘Cause I know you pay RIDICULOUSLY more rent than I do and definitely don’t deserve to go to sleep at night knowing that a man who raped a teenager and attacked three little girls between the ages of 5 and 7 while forcing other children WATCH the abuse, holds the spare key to your apartment.

*DEAD FISH EYES*

That is all.

Hmm, there’s just so much tomfoolery going on in the world this Monday morning I don’t know where to start. Let’s see…


Ah-ha, looks like the TSA continues it’s tradition of hiring only the most qualified and upstanding individuals to protect our country’s borders- NOT. According to the Daily News, a 57-year old employee in the Orlando area was arrested for attempting to turn a 15 year-old girl into his sex slave. *crickets*

But wait on it… when this genius was brought in for questioning, he denies molesting her and insists that all he did was”grope” her. And just to prove his well meaning intentions, the admitted S&M oriented swinger said in a written statement that all he did was ASK her to be his sex slave. You know, not like he was gonna FORCE her or anything… Sigh.

So we’re all clear, this is who’s rifling through all the panties & bras in my carry-on luggage? Good to know, very good to know.

The recession is a bitch. But I gotta say, it does bring out the creativity in folks. Check out this video short that a friend of my girl Reena made about her life as a recent grad called- ‘Hire Me.’ It is SOSOSOSO freakin’ cute.


I LOVE.

Oh and by the way, she’s headed to NYC for a part-time fellowship at a film company in mid-February and REALLY needs a job. So if you can help, please do.

I‘ll admit, with all the bi-partisan pacifying and Republican ass kissing, Team Obama was truly working my last nerves these past couple of weeks. Yeah, I said it.


But after taking the time to read last night’s State of the Union this morning (I was out to dinner with one of the BFFs last night), it’s safe to say my unabashed crush on President continues… Sigh.

In fact, I’m in such an upbeat mood, I won’t ruin it by getting mired down in all the grisly details of the psycho illegal Chinese immigrant who repeated stalked the owner of a temporary employment agency, attacked with a hammer & knife, killed and ripped out her heart and lungs when the poor woman couldn’t find him a job.

Mind you, dude had already been sent to El Paso, Tex., for deportation proceedings four years ago for attacking the same woman. But instead of immediately throwing Huang Chen out of the country, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement put him on supervised release and let him come back to NYC. *blank stare* Mmm-hmm, while ya’ll worrying about some Mexicans who just wanna do yard work and take care of their families…

No. No sir, I WILL NOT give in to the dark side today (But feel free to read all about it here).

And let me say this- I sure hope all the Republicans and fake ass ‘conservative’ Democrats that were sitting their rolling there eyes and throwing shade as Barack implored them to create more jobs get wind of this tragedy. ‘Cause times are hard on the boulevard and I assure you, the madness is not going to stop till folks catch a break.

Wow. It never ceases to amaze me how bitterness, frustration and overall unhappiness can corrupt someone’s moral character. Like seriously, it’s not always easy being optimistic and positive. But the alternative is so damn frightening…


Case in point- Paul Shirley.

Apparently, this man was somewhat of a star basketball player at Iowa State that got drafted into the NBA for a very brief and not so noteworthy career that maxed out at 18 games and 33 points, with three different teams. And since then, has done nothing worth talking about except the occasional ESPN gig.

TRAGIC.

Clearly this is NOT how Mr. Shirley envisioned his life. And it’s seems safe to say, Mr. Shirley is probably walking around with a whole lot of pent up aggression and resentment towards any and everyone because of his own unrealized dreams.

I’m just saying…

Because this could be the ONLY reason anyone in their right mind with an OUNCE of education (and I’m seriously questioning the validity of that Iowa State degree) or basic home training could possible believe/ concoct the ignorant ass reasons that he posted on flipcollective.com for NOT donating to the victims in Haiti. Check it out the highlights:

“I haven’t donated a cent to the Haitian relief effort. And I probably will not.

I haven’t donated to the Haitian relief effort for the same reason that I don’t give money to homeless men on the street. Based on past experiences, I don’t think the guy with the sign that reads “Need You’re Help” is going to do anything constructive with the dollar I might give him. If I use history as my guide, I don’t think the people of Haiti will do much with my money either.

After the tsunami of 2004, the citizens of the world wailed and donated and volunteered for cleanup, rarely asking the important – and, I think, obvious – question: What were all those people doing there in the first place? Just as important: If they move back to a place near the ocean that had just been destroyed by a giant wave, shouldn’t our instinct be to say, “Go ahead if you want, but you’re on your own now.”?

We did the same after Hurricane Katrina. We were quick to vilify humans who were too slow to respond to the needs of victims, forgetting that the victims had built and maintained a major city below sea level in a known target zone for hurricanes. Our response: Make the same mistake again. Rebuild a doomed city, putting aside logic as we did.

And now, faced with a similar situation, it seems likely that we will do the same.”

He then continues the rant with this imaginary letter…

“Dear Haitians –

First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.

As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?

Sincerely,

The Rest of the World”

DEAD.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but at the very least, please make sure you have all the facts. It’s painfully clear that Paul Shirley has NO idea about the histories of ANY of the places that he so flippantly disregards nor has EVER a read a single world history book in his entire provincial life.

But on a more basic level, I’m just curious… who thinks like this? What kind of heartless individual could possibly witness ANY of these tragedies born out of NATURAL disasters- the tsunami, Hurricane Katrina or the Haitian earthquake- and then blame the victims? Who is your family Paul Shirley? Where does this type of disregard for human life breed? Or tell the truth, were you raised by wild ANIMALS??

I. Can. NOT.

Lemme find out someone at Time Warner reads my blog…


After an entire week of no cable (the fuse in the box blew when I plugged it back into the socket after being away) and no available service dates, I unexpectedly received a call from the customer service center. And what do you know? Because I only own one measly TV, the dispatcher informed me that they would be able to move my appointment up from Thursday the 28th to yesterday afternoon- WOO HOO!

So not only was I able to watch the Fantasia show craziness last night for the first time (why had no one put me on to the tomfoolery that is Tasia and her brother Teeny??) but thanks to a much belated upgrade in my cable plan, I used my new DVR service- don’t judge me- to tape my long standing obsessions, Intervention and Hoarders.

Anyhoo, now that I’ve finally joined the new millennium, I need a list of shows to become addicted to… I already enjoy Modern Family but what are your thoughts on Community? Is anyone besides my girl Joan still watching Desperate Housewives? And what about Celebrity Fit Club? I haven’t watched that in a couple seasons but since Sharr Jackson AND K-Faterline are contestants this go ’round, I’m kinda curious.

I’m just saying.

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