Probably the only good thing about Spring’s reluctant return is that it’s given us a couple more weeks before open-toe season begins. While the Lord knows how excited I am to chuck those heavy ass Gortex snow boots to the back of my closet, mama’s monthly budget is so not looking forward to the weekly cost of the mandatory mani/ pedi. Okay?
Which led me to recall yet another long lost poll question that I never discussed: What takes priority- bikini area or fresh mani/ pedi? (See, it might take a while, but I always get it in.)
74% said that fingers and toes are most important because they’re the thing that everyone sees. While 25% went with the bikini area because its the area the most important people see, no?
Hmmm, this was a tough one. But personally, I think I’m rocking with the minority. Oh and it has absolutely nothing to do with who is or isn’t lucky enough to get up close and personal, thank you very much. Nope, there’s just too much riding on a well groomed bikini area.
I mean there’s the obvious- appearance. Talk about a pretty panty killer. Nothing says, ‘vomit in your mouth’ more than the chick in the gym locker room strolling around with TUFTS of pubs poking around the side of her drawers. Listen here honey, I don’t give a good goddamn how much you paid for that La Perla set. If you’ve got a bush situation, its a wrap.
And then you already know my forreal, forreal pet peeve- smell. Don’t you think it’s hard enough to stay fresh and clean when the outside temperature rises? Why add a handful of hair to the mix? All up in the crease of your leg and butt cheeks? Uuugh, call me neurotic but I can’t.
So yes, stepping out with the butter soft heels and fresh to death polish job is an important part of your personal appearance (otherwise, I wouldn’t be looking for quarters in the back of my couch to add to the pretty toes trust fund). But please believe, my priority is to keep it tight behind the scenes. Because when I put my undies on one leg at a time, everything needs to fit inside.
