Mitzi Moments

So last night, my boy G-Payton scored tix to see the dress rehearsal performance of The Wiz featuring Ashanti and Orlando Jones. Under normal circumstance, you’d have to drag me kicking and screaming to anything remotely Ashanti related but it’s The Wiz. I couldn’t resist.

And I am SOSOSO happy to report that for the most part the play was really good. As expected, LaChanze (she played Celie in Oprah’s The Color Purple musical) was phenomenal. Orlando Jones looks like he’s put on a couple of pounds but still dead on as The Wiz. I seriously heart the Scarecrow, Tin Man And Cowardly Lion. Them brother right there can BLOW. And don’t sleep, even though she only had two and a half scenes, Tichina Arnold straight STOLE the show as Evillene (the Wicked Witch of the West).
But I did say for the most part.  As in not completely… Sigh. 
Poor, poor Ashanti. Her costume was probably the most unflattering thing I’ve seen in a LONG time. Cause we all know that girl got cankles and big feet.  Who in the unholy costume-design-school-dropout HELL thought it would be cute to put her in a dress that tea length dress and black Converse sneakers?? 
And even though it seemed like they tried to rearrange the tone/pitch of the songs to accommodate her limited range, homegirl still came up waaaay short. Although, I must give her points for being creative enough to try and whisper sing  (like Janet), so that folks couldn’t really tell that she can’t sing. Unfortunately, them type of smoke and mirror shenanigans don’t really work when you’re performing with or right after folks that can really, really SANG. 
I just thank GOD that the producers/writers kept her speaking parts to a bare minimum (at least it seemed). So there were moments that you could sorta- if you tried very, very hard and clicked your heel 3x- forget that she was there.

Here’s the thing, I’m all for fashion forwardness.  I love seeing new trends emerge (so about to cop an adorable one-piece pantsuits) and disappear (baby doll dress be damned).  

Even if good old fashioned commonsense/ awareness of my body shape won’t necessarily allow me to get involved (thigh high boots), more power to those constantly push the envelope.  
With that said, this morning I have serious beef with Rihanna.
What the in the unholy my-stylist-had-the-night-off HELL was she doing prancing around NYC in a damn over-sized cardigan like it’s a sweater dress?? 
Shit is a certified wreck.  Oh and PS, the random bustier tossed up under there doesn’t make it any better. At. All. Cause really, it just looks like  ya girl put on the pretty drawers, the sweater and said bump wearing pants/shorts/anything to properly cover her butt.
Listen, I know the poor thing done been through some shit recently but that’s simply no reason to hit the pavement assed-out and half-naked.  Uh-uh, no maam.  Not today, not tomorrow, not even on a dare.
But the FORREAL, FORREAL reason that I’m mad at Rih-Rih?  For every time her tall and skinny behind tries to pull something crazy like this off.  There’s a confused girl with a TOTALLY Different shape following her lead…  AND FAILING MISERABLY.  
Exhibit A: Homegirl following right behind her in the shiny shirt, leather boots and a crazy looking cardigan vest of her own. Need I say more?
Jesus be a fill-length mirror. Light a candle ya’ll…

Okay, real talk?  I think my breasts are shrinking! 

I used to be a very ample C/ borderline D-cup.  Nowadays, I’m only halfway filling out the C cups. And puh-lease do not make the bra cup structured…  they’re straight puddling in the bottom!!  What the hell!?!?!?
I keep trying on all my bras, adjusting the straps, twisting from side to side and the results are still the same- freakin’ Magda boobs. 
I feel so betrayed.  I LOVE the twins.  My market loves the twins. It’s not like I’ve lost considerable weight or been breast feeding anyone’s baby lately.  How are they gonna just up and deflate on me like this?  
I’m just saying… Don’t they know there’s a recession going on?  I can’t afford to replace all the cute underwear sets.  Sigh. And after all the exposure I’ve given them… ungrateful I tell you.
All I can say is, Jesus be the augmentation savings fund. 

Goodness this weather is blowing me. I swear, repeatedly waking up to gray skies puts me in the foulest mood. I don’t want to go nowhere, do nothing, talk to nobody, it’s awful.

Shoot, this crappy weather is probably why folks in Ohio have issues like a grown ass, 41 year-old man wearing a bright green woman’s one-piece bathing suit and construction boots harassing women in a public park.  
Yeah, you read that right.  
Apparently dude, was running up on random women and young girls and asking whether or not they liked his outfit. Really?  You’re looking for fashion advice? Sigh.
But the tomfoolery doesn’t stop there…  
In a completely separate incident, a woman caught a man wearing a purple bra and boxers breaking into her car.  Mmm-hmm…  The poor woman said, “I was actually kind of worried.  He was in a bra and boxers and going through my car.  I didn’t know what to think.” 
Yeah, I can see how that might be sensory overload.

Slow news day…  Which inevitable leads me to fall back on old poll questions.  Here’s one that I’ve been meaning to discuss for a minute: Do you need to be held by your partner after sex?

65% of you said you can take it or leave it.
26% say its a must
7% would rather not.
I see I’m in the minority…
Don’t get me wrong, for the most part I’m a very affectionate person. I always enjoy having my hand held, being held, hugged, kissed, etc by my significant other. My friends will tell you- Mitzi is very big on the PDA. 
But all that ‘afterglow cuddling?’  Especially after really, really good sex?  Yeah, no. 
And I’m not quite sure what that’s about. All I know is I’m exhausted,  I need a minute to get myself together and I DO NOT want you draping your heavy thigh over me while I’m trying to find my head scarf and get my heart rate down.  At all.
*Truth be told, the only time, I want to cuddle immediately after sex is if it’s wack (and that’s just to hold me back from getting up and getting the hell outta there).
I’m gonna have to pray on that…