Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

I just can’t stop lovin’ you…

By on June 26, 2009 in end of days, moment of silence

There are no words to adequately express the shock I felt upon seeing the confirmed news reports about Michael Jackson’s death. I literally had to sit down on the couch and catch my breath. I haven’t felt this dazed since I found out that I was actually going to receive my much needed liver transplant eleven years ago. That’s deep, right?


Be clear: Michael Jackson has been a friend in my head FOREVER. Since my certified tone deaf ass could screech a out, “A-B-C, easy as 1-2-3,” MJ and his music have been a part of my life. And trust, our friendship was hardcore.  

It spanned his rise to superstardom, the freak accidents, a complete ethnicity/race change and yes, even the recent controversial fall from grace.  Forreal, forreal, me and Mike been through it: He’d make me happy, he’d make me sad, he’d humble me, and then leave my jaded self in complete disbelief. 

And still, I jammed on.

So riddle me this- how does a man who’s musical genius changed the WORLD die of cardiac arrest at freakin’ 50?  

Not for nothing, people like MJ are supposed to either: A) live forever or B) die in some unexplainable event like an airplane disappearing over the Bermuda Triangle. NEVER, EVER the mundane heart attack. I mean, wasn’t that the point of the hyperbaric-oxygen-tank-thingy that he’s allegedly been sleeping in since the 80s? Sigh.  I can’t.  

Raise your glove in the air…

making technology work for you…

By on June 25, 2009 in it ain't easy, it takes a village, pocket full of dirty tissue

Dang! The po-po ain’t catching no breaks this week…


Apparently, NYPD Detective Christopher Perino thought he was slick and denied threatening a suspect Erik Crespo in court. Well don’t you know the tech savy teen taped the entire “conversation” that included threats to the then 17 year-old’s mother and sister on a tiny MP3 player he had in his pocket?  

So much for doing a thorough job of frisking the suspect, huh?

Therefore, when the trifling Detective got on the stand talking about he never interrogated Crespo let alone threatened him, the defense attorney basically whipped out the 62-page transcript of the taped convo and cold busted his ass.  Mmm-hmm, just like that.

In addition to being played to the left in front of a courtroom full of people, the Detective was immediately charged with perjury and arrested. He is suspended without pay, will probably lose his pension and could now go to jail his DAMN self.

You know…. I wanna say I feel bad for the former Detective, especially since it turns out the kid is truly guilty of the crime they arrested him for (he was caught on tape shooting someone). 

BUT at the end of the day, I’m not really for all that threatening of folks mothers and sisters… No sir, not at all.

sure hope he had his drawers on…

By on June 24, 2009 in honorary white woman, it takes a village, made for the maury show, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

In most cases, there’s nothing funny about police brutality.  Like, at all. But you know my motto- every day is a new opportunity to take it to the next level. Peep game:



Apparently, good ole Carl (who mind you, was recently voted District Officer of The Year) got wind of the fact that his estranged wife was screwing around at the crib with another man.  So naturally, as soon as he got off duty he headed over to ‘get things straight’. 

When he arrived on the scene, I guess homegirl was trying to be on some slick shit and refused to answer the door. (Can’t you hear her now- “Just ignore all that banging baby.  I told you, me and him not together no more.”)

Well don’t you know homeboy smashed a window, stormed in and charged up to the bedroom? 

Once in the bedroom, crazy ass Carl (you like how he went from good ole Carl to the crazy ass, right?) found the freaking Police Chief HIDING out in the closet and proceed to pistol whip and beat FIRE out of that ass.

DAYUM son. Can you say anger management issues? WTF??  I’m gonna need the Chicago Police force to turn off the R.Kelly and pull it together.  Not now, but RIGHT  NOW.

please revist parenting 101…

By on June 23, 2009 in cuteness kills, i'm not ready to be a grandmother, it's in the genes, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out, that sense of entitlement

Err-umm, I know most parents stop whooping their kids when they get old enough to comprehend but real talk? Some of these hard headed mo-fo’s need to be beat all the way up until they turn 21 years-old. And preferably with a large, thick, you-gonna-remember-this-one-right-here leather belt like the one my Dad used on my lil’ ass back in the day… Uh-huh, yeah, I said it.

‘Cause if more teenagers understood that they could still catch a bad one from their parents, we damn sure wouldn’t have bored children enlisting to become assassins in Mexican drug cartels, playing themselves out in ridiculous reality shows like NYC Prep or walking into tattoo parlors talking about, “hi. I want you to tat up my body to the point where the only place I’ll ever be able to work is a circus.”

Because in what can only be attributed to a lack of fear of the parental beat down, 18 year-old Kimberley Vlaeminck decided to have 56 freaking stars etched into the side of her FACE. And to no one’s surprise but her own, her father completely lost his shit when that fast ass got home.

So naturally, like all immature, adolescents under pressure Ms. Kimberley went straight into denial mode.

Don’t you know, this silly child had the nerve to insist that she’d “only asked for three stars, feel asleep in the chair and woke up with a galaxy on her face.” You ONLY asked for three stars on your FACE??? Feel free to insert the blank stare with 2 blinks.

But wait on it… Her parents actually believed that bullshit!

I mean to say, not only did they believe it but they proceeded to hire a lawyer and press charges against the tattoo artist/ parlour. As if any sober person in their right mind could sleep through 56 stars being inked on his/her face… I. can’t.

Needless to say, not even a week later homegirl got caught on a hidden camera admitting that she knew all along what the tattoo artist was going to do. So she’s had to issue an apology, retract her statement, lost the almost $18,000 her parents put into making the claim/ hiring a lawyer, et al.

So ummm, I’m just going to go out on a limb and say, this right here. This is what happens when “time outs” go horribly wrong. No offense

straight norman bates…

By on June 22, 2009 in desperate cry for help, made for the maury show, tagging out, too old for the road

Okay, you know what?  I’m gonna need folks to turn off the Law & Order marathons and step away from the TNT. 


Not now but RIGHT NOW.


This fool straight dressed up like his mother- wig, sunglasses, moo-moo and all, picked up his homeboy to play his part and the two of them headed down to the DMV and tried to get a new State ID for this woman. Mmm-hmm…

But wait on it… the real reason he even got caught is because when his mother’s home was sold into foreclosure (naturally, he wasn’t making any payments), he refused to vacate the premises and tried to sue the new owners-AS HIS MOTHER.

Uh-uh, I. Can’t. Lord, it’s too early in the week for this nonsense…

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