Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

actually, a king’s son is a prince….

By on July 22, 2009 in going to hell in a handbasket, never too grown, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out, that sense of entitlement

I must say, yesterday was a lot. First, waking up to the sound of pouring rain and then realizing that my cable/ internet wasn’t working definitely blew me.  But in the grand scheme of things, it could’ve always been worse. 


Shoot, I could’ve been famed African-American scholar and Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. who got arrested  for disorderly conduct after forcing open the jammed front door of the house he LIVES in.  Mmm-hmm…

All I can say is thank god today is another day. The sun is shining, the Yankees are tied for 1st place in the Division and apparently Kelis finally delivered her son with Nas. Yes, let the choir sing. ‘Cause I am beyond tired of hearing about those angry twits from the web and reading about the messy divorce proceeding… yeah, I said it.  

Not for nothing, if  Kesha Nichols can get over being dumped via text message by lame ass, e-thug Richard Jefferson less than a week before their wedding, then my god- its time to pull up your big girl panties and move on the hell on.

Real talk? You skimmed through his first baby mama’s book just like the rest of us… You knew who you married. You rocked your matching satin ‘NIGGER’ jacket with pride.  Spare us all the indignant outrage, ridiculous $20,000 a month child support demands and just carry your ass back to the studio. 

sorry Corky…

By on July 20, 2009 in feedback

Slow news days… that is unless you want to discuss Michael Vick coming off of house arrest or that Chris Brown’s bodyguard is allegedly selling his sneakers on Twitter. Yeah, me neither.  


So I guess we’ll go to the polls.  Ah, here’s a good one we never got to talk about:  
What’s a bigger turn-off: a filthy kitchen or a nasty bathroom?

14%- filthy kitchen
85%-nasty bathroom

Mind you, I’m far from a neat freak.  If anyone understands a little clutter in the NYC sized one bedroom it’s the girl who works in her living room. But a grimy kitchen or bathroom?  Oh hells naw, the sight of either one of the two are deal breakers.  Period, with no discussion to be had.

But if I must choose one evil over another, I’m going with the majority- the bathroom is a bigger problem. 

Because not for nothing, we can always eat out but at some point, my weak bladder is going to betray me.  And I WILL have to pee.  And not that I’m ever sitting down on anybody’s toilet seat besides my own BUT just the sight of gross brown bowl underneath me is too much.  Oh and what about when I go to wash my hands?  What am I supposed to turn on the faucet with the edge of my fingernails?? No thank you. 

It’s like how do you expect me to believe that you were able to truly get clean in a filthy bathroom? No way. I’m not buying it.  Which in essence makes you a perpetually dirty individual…. which can only mean that you carry more than your fair share of germs… which means you’re going to make me sick.  Uh-Uh, Simon says stop right there. 

And big picture?  Why don’t you care enough to clean? You knew I was coming… What neuron didn’t fire off the message to your brain that it’s not appropriate to allow the person that you’re dating/ trying to be intimate with to spend time in the crib when your bathroom is unclean? No ma’am. 

Call me an elitist but I’m just not the one for dating the disabled. You and all those little hair from when you shaved  your beard off have gots to do better.                 

all the places we won’t go…

By on July 17, 2009 in it ain't easy, made for the maury show

Huh.  Halfway through July and I still can’t figure out where to go on vacay this summer… Sigh, it’s not looking good for the kid. 


For a second, I was thinking I’d go back to the Bahamas cause I absolutely LOVED their beaches… but that was before I heard about the family of feral pigs that have started swimming in the ocean.  Mmm-hmm… Feel free to insert blank stare with three blinks.

Apparently, the parents and piglets were once domestic and now running amuck in the wild.  They’ve made their home on Big Major Spot Island beach.  And have no qualms about swimming alongside the visiting tourists.  Um, how do I best say this?  No ma’am.

But pigs in the ocean is nothing compared to the crappy tourism pr West Virginia is dealing with right about now.  Where else in the WORLD do you hear about someone breaking into a house to have sex with a DOG??? What in the unholy-inbred-missing-chromosome hell is that? 

Uh-uh. I. Will. Not.

Maybe this is a sign from above that I need to keep my behind local. You know, pull a folding lawn chair out onto the sidewalk, relax with the corner boys and let the hood entertain me.

you’re better than me…

By on July 16, 2009 in feedback

I so love reading about President Obama making power moves…  first and foremost pushing forward on the much-needed health care reform and then reversing an ignorant ass George Bush policy that argued severely battered and sexually abused foreign women couldn’t meet the standards of American asylum law.* Sigh.  


Nothing sexier than a man on a mission to change the world.

But since the weather is FINALLY warming up, thought we’d keep it light and discuss a really, really old poll question that I almost forgot about my damn self: Have you ever used a prescription/ non-prescription drug to enhance your sexual experience?

And for the first time, I got a unanimous decision- 100% of you guys said – NEVER.

Okay, pause.  Seriously? NOBODY has EVER smoked a little weed, popped ecstasy, used one of those over the counter creams to help the erection last longer or slathered on a gel to make the vajay-jay tingle???? Feel free to insert: serious side-eye right HERE.

Now, I’m not copping to exactly what I’ve done (or worse, whats on my list of things to try before its all said and done) but lets just say that on this right here, I’m definitely NOT one in the 100. 

*Be sure to click on the link and read about the crazy court case that kicked off this battle with the former Bush administration.  Home girl’s common-law husband was repeatedly raping her at gun point, holding her captive, stole from her and even tried to burn her alive when he found out that she was pregnant. Crazy. 

Not for nothing, but it makes a sista wanna give her a nice, strong purse strap…

let the free flow…

By on July 15, 2009 in it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

First of all, lemme tell you- yesterday was a complete SUCCESS!  


I had so much fun meeting folks, showing off the new dress, taking a bunch of pictures and most importantly, selling more than my fair share of books.  So thank you, thank you to everyone who was able to make it out. It means the world.

But guess what???  All your positive energy worked!!!  When I finally got home last night (cause you know even at a book signing there’s always an afterparty), I found out that I was selected to be the new GAP Brand enthusiast!! 

WOO HOO- Go Mitzi, get busy!! Go Mitzi, Go Mitzi!!!!! I am SOSOSOSO excited for the free there are no words.  And trust, I’ll be updating you as the packages roll in.*

Now, if I can only get Louboutin to holla, we’ll be all to the good.

* Check out the new canvas tote and mini lip-gloss 6-pack they gifted me in the welcome kit. 

Real talk? 5 out of the 6 of the mini-gloss colors are def poppin’. But at first glance I wasn’t really loving the bag’s heavy olive/brown overtones. You know the kid is all about a bright color. How-some-ever, when I actually pulled it out of the box- it’s super lightweight, more spacious than it looks, has more than enough pockets and the yellow matches my yoga mat PERFECTLY. 

READ: even if I’m dripping in sweat, the lips will be glossy and the bag will be coordinated.

Let the choir sing…

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