Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

random weekend musings…

By on October 2, 2009 in desperate cry for help, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out, why we as a people can't get ahead

Praise the Lord, it’s Friday!  


Even if the sun is barely shining, Dave Letterman just received an undeserved round of applause for admitting to adultery and Chicago lost the bid for the Olympics (sorry Mama Oprah), I’m still happy as hell that the weekend is upon us.

I think I want to go to the movies this weekend… Doesn’t the comedy with Vince Vaughn come out today?  Or wait, maybe it was that new roller derby Drew Barrymore movie with Ellen Page, Whip It. Whichever one, I sure hope it’s entertaining.  ‘Cause I’m going to need something  to help me forget about the scary daycare worker in England that was arrested for abusing year old babies with toothbrushes, taking pictures and sending them to some pedophile she had the hots for. 

On second thought, it might take a little more than a movie to forget that mess.

You know, it really makes me wonder whether homegirl’s mother smoked cigarettes while she was in the womb.  According to a report on Reuters, children born to women who smoke during the pregnancy have a greater risk of developing psychotic tendencies. And let’s be clear, anyone who feels the need to sodomize an infant to score points with any sort of love interest let alone a sexual deviant is clearly a hot ass psycho mess.

I’m just saying… this is not the type of ish that Gandhi would have wanted to hear on his 140th  birthday people! Okay? 

where 2 or more gather…

By on September 30, 2009 in made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

In what can only be further proof that we are living at the end of days, a Pentecostal church in Louisville, Kentucky has knowingly ordained a convicted sex offender as their newest minister.  Um, feel free to insert dead fish eyes, right HERE.


Apparently, the minister, Mark Hourigan was convicted of sexually abusing an 11 year-old boy in central Kentucky.  He served 5 years (lemme guess, this is where he found God) and is now officially listed on Kentucky’s sex offender registry for the rest of his life. Really?

Now, I’m not saying that dude doesn’t have a right to religion but an ordained minister?  Come on!  Forget about celebs and athletes, aren’t ministers supposed to be role models? 

I’m just saying.

ain’t nobody throwin’ away the key…

By on September 29, 2009 in feedback

Since yesterday’s post was such a Debbie Downer, I figured I’d keep it light and dig up an old poll question.  So here’s one that I found:

 Are you willing to be tied up during sex, tie your partner up or both?

8% said they prefer to be the one who gets tied up
44% said that they’d tie their partner up but, them?  Not so much.
46% were down for it either way

For the record, I find it very encouraging to see that so many people are pushing the limits in their sex lives. Personally?  I don’t know how… 

Why?  Cause we all know negroes are tricky. And not for  nothing, I kinda need to feel like I can always get up and be out at a moment’s notice. Not to mention, I’ve never been one of those chicks that has S&M fantasies. Don’t get me wrong- I’m all for the dress up (gotta keep it interesting) but I just don’t feel the need for anyone to pretend to kidnap, rape, arrest, force me into bondage etc. At. All.

Call me old fashioned, but there’s just something very effeminate about a man that really, really wants to be tied up. Think about it.  Uh-huh, that’s what I thought.

Real talk? Most men that I’ve been intimate with are cool with a little bit of role playing and  domination when we’re getting it on but all them handcuff games?  No ma’am. Not even on a dare…

the real war zone…

By on September 28, 2009 in desperate cry for help, end of days, it takes a village, it's not a game out there, tapped out, why we as a people can't get ahead

Okay seriously?  This video looks like it was shot in third world country.  Certainly not on the streets of a major city like Chicago.  What in the hell? Where did these kids get the 2×4 planks that they’re swinging around like bats from? Good grief.  

My heart goes out to the families of all the kids- the one that lost his life, the ones that got injured in the brawl as well as the ones that are about to go to jail for the rest of their lives behind this tomfoolery.

Let the choir sing…

he’s a fatty…

By on September 25, 2009 in cuteness kills, it takes a village, tapped out

So I’m in the supermarket last night and I swear, every other person that passed me by was either pregnant or pushing a stroller.  It was the most bizarre thing.  And I don’t know if it’s the PMS or what but, I could not stop wishing oohing and awwing like a damn fool.  


You know that annoying girl who can’t help but say how adorable every single baby in sight is?  Yeah, that was me. Sigh.

But then, I got online this morning and read an article about a woman in Indonesia who just gave birth to a 19-pound baby boy and I almost threw up in my mouth!  NINETEEN POUNDS??  I can’t even lift a ten pound dumbbell without bitching and complaining and this lil’ sumo wrestler came out of the womb weighing NINETEEN pounds?? 

Um, just what in the-made-for the-maury-show- hell is anyone supposed to do with that? 

Poor woman is prob gonna throw her back out just trying to carry him home from the hospital. And let’s not talk about what it’s going  to cost to properly feed that child. Uh-uh, no ma’am… 

Thank you NY Daily News, my biological clock is officially SHUT DOWN. 

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