Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

making greyhound look sexy…

By on January 5, 2010 in end of days, it's in the genes, that sense of entitlement, work it white girl

How ridiculous is it that Joan Rivers got bumped off her flight from Costa Rica because security thought that she was a terrorist? Seriously? The old decrepit white woman with waaaaay too much plastic surgery and a horrible ash blonde dye job? I can’t. Between you and me, I think Joan was probably being a pain in the ass and the chick at Continental was like, “Oh yeah bitchy old lady? I’ll show you.” Mmm-hmm… just. like. that.


But honestly, it still behooves me why everyone in the entire world should suffer this ridiculous backlash because a bunch of lazy ass fools who work for the airport (who were most likely annoyed that they had to work on Christmas) screwed up on the job. Instead of coming up with a bunch of additional rules, wouldn’t the smart thing to do have been to FIRE every employee that was working security and missed the mark that day?
I’m just saying. Obviously they never mastered the old rules. So what, you’re going to try and tack on MORE information? Do the math.

Sigh. Friendly skies my behind…

so this is what a pantie-sniffer looks like…

By on January 4, 2010 in desperate cry for help, it takes a village, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know today is the first work day of the new year/ decade but I gotta tell you- I’m so not for ready it. Seriously, I think my body may need another 24 hours to recover from the non-stop tomfoolery of the 2009 holiday festivities and this damn head cold that I seem to have picked up on Saturday night. Sigh.


Guess I still need to learn when to say when…

But before I go back to bed to stage a much-needed do-over, I wanted to share the news story about the ex-mayor of Lancashire in England who recently confessed to breaking into women’s homes and what? Stealing their underwear. *blank stare*

Mmm-hmm, apparently homeboy’s pantie raid lasted from January to June of last year. And at one point, it got so bad that not only were women going to the police about the number of missing garments but one woman actually went so far as to install a hidden camera in her bedroom. Can you imagine?

Uh-uh, Jesus take the wheel…

not to get all mushy but…

By on December 31, 2009 in Mitzi- all day every day

Here’s wishing everyone a fantastic New Year’s Eve and more importantly, a phenomenal 2010.


With the start of this new decade, I hope that we all use every day as an opportunity to start over and go harder. Remember, life is for the living.

See you on the other side!

they’ll be reruns in the summer…

By on December 30, 2009 in it ain't easy, it's not a game out there, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, why we as a people can't get ahead

Wow, so are we really not going to have the Fox Broadcasting channel in 2010? ‘Cause from the sounds of things, Time Warner is not budging on this whole price hike situation. Can’t say I’m mad. I’m extremely tired of paying outrageous prices for cable when I don’t really enjoy half of the shows on television. And truth be told, I can’t even name a show on Fox besides 24 and Family Guy (or is that on the CW) that is worth talking about.


Times are tough, go hard.

Speaking of going hard, DAYUM Teddy! How you smacking your 18 year-old daughter upside the head with a freaking Guitar Hero guitar?? And then wait on it… your old unapologetic ass goes and tweets that “you’d do it again”? *EPIC Fail*

Be clear: I don’t have problem the first with him laying into her ass (even if she is 18 years-old). The way my sister and I were raised, if you chose to live at home after graduating from high school, you could and would catch a bad one if and whenever you popped off at the mouth.

Like Elsa told me, “Don’t like it? Think you too grown for the beat down? Then by all means, move the hell out.”

And take my word for it- she was NOT playing. I caught my last bad one at 21 when I came home from school for Xmas break. Yeah, you read that correctly, 2-1. And I ain’t never, ever forget that ‘ish either! Sigh. God bless my Panamanian mother’s heart…

So no, my issue is not with the whooping. It’s with him using the guitar. I’m just saying… Were there no leather belts, extension cords, wooden spoons, plastic spatulas within in arms reach? Oh and please don’t sleep on how much an unexpected pop-pop to the mouth (hard enough to stun but not enough to bloody) can do for a smart mouth or a bad attitude. Mmm-hmm…

singing the same ‘ole song…

By on December 29, 2009 in going to hell in a handbasket, i die, keep hope alive, pocket full of dirty tissue, too old for the road, why we as a people can't get ahead

Hmm, so I finally got around to watching this infamous (and seriously redundant) Dateline segment on ‘The Plight of Single Black Women’. Umm…. Yawn. Clearly, Dateline either ran out of white girls that slept with Tiger Woods or just needed a quick bump in their ratings.

Like seriously? We’re going into a new DECADE and we’re STILL talking the same ‘ole ‘last good black man standing’ bullshit? Yeah, no thank you. I am so tired of hearing how hard it is to find a decent Black man. Note to the masses: having a degree, well-paying job, nice apartment and fly car does not make you a decent human being.

Here’s an idea: Instead of regurgitating the same doomsday dating info, why not produce a segment on all the new and young married females (African American and White) who are ABSOLUTELY miserable. Yeah, I’m talking about the countless women who regret the day they rushed down the aisle because it seemed like ‘the right thing to do.’ And now, the poor things are facing an embarrassing/ expensive divorce or worse, wasting the best years of their lives in an unhappy situation.

Quietly, I’m sure we all know just as many single ladies on the prowl as married ones who in retrospect, if given the choice, WOULD NOT choose to be with the same man they married.
*dead fish eyes*
Cause not to be funny or seem extra callous about the situation, but at the end of the day the women that I associate with and consider peers would much rather be alone and feel lonely- than be in a relationship and still feel lonely.

Let the choir sing…

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