Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

everyday a star is born…

By on May 4, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day

Okay, today’s post is courtesy of my homie G-Payton. Who bless his little heart, keeps my inbox full of the tomfoolery. For those who have had the pleasure of viewing the ‘Yes Dance’ video (an earlier GP jewel), you already know. So please do not ask me where, how or WHY he found this particular video. But please be clear- my mouth remains WIDE OPEN.


It’s just so… I’m feel so… I mean, are these dudes straight? Even if they’re not hetero, as grown men, how do you even coordinate something like this???

Wait, wait, I know! It probably went a little something like this:

Boy 1: “Yo, I got a dope idea.”
Boy 2: “What, what’s up?”
Boy 1: “Let’s strip down to our shorts and baseball caps and then gyrate for the camera.”
*There’s a moment of silence. and then…
Boy 3: “Yoooo, that’s hot son! That is so hot!”
Boy 1: “And hold up, hold up- we can even have solos and shit…”
Boy 3:”Word! I’m down!”
*Everyone gets hype and starts jumping around the dorm-sized living room. Except for…
Boy 4: “I don’t know ya’ll… Cause I’m still working on physique for bikini season.”
Boy 5: Okay, well you hold the camera. Just make sure you zoom in close on me when it my turn for the solo…”
Boy 6: Whatever my dude, just be sure you hold the camera steady when I get to dropping it like it’s hot.”
Boy 2: “True, true.”
Boy 4: “Trust me my dudes, I’mma make ya’ll famous!”
*Grabs the camera, cues the music and voila!

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white girls jumpin on the kanye workout plan…

By on May 3, 2010 in cuteness kills, keep hope alive, work it white girl

Lord haf mercy! Misty, muggy spring days make me sleepy. And I’m thinking the three blueberry/ banana pancakes I just scarfed down prob didn’t do much to help. Sigh.


*discreetly wipes syrup from my chin*

But I gotta tell you, all the itis in theWORLD didn’t stop me from doing a double take at this picture of Jessica Simpson and Gabourey Sidibe taken at the this year’s White House Correspondents Dinner.

Yo.

What is going on with Jessica Simpson? Like seriously, I get the whole, I ‘d rather be healthy than a dry-heaving bulimic mess bandwagon she’s riding now that her albums are doing double dust. But the day a former pin-up girl stands beside the girl who played Precious and she DOESN’T look like a rail? Oh uh-uh… Somebody in her camp needs to call Celebrity Fit Club and make the magic happen.

No offense.

Granted, it probably doesn’t help that Gabby seems to have lost weight from the time she was doing promotions for the film but still… I saw the Essence cover. Homegirl ain’t lost that damn much.

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And I don’t know if it’s the plain Jane shoulder length hair, the awkward way her right arm pinned to her side or perhaps bright yellow boat neck dresses that hit the ugly spot right below the kneecap just aren’t Jessica’s thing… All I’m saying is there’s got to be a better way.

*cough* and it probably starts with sit-up or two *cough*

they’re back…

By on April 30, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

Unfortunately, instances have become few and far in between, but there are still days when being an independent journalist does have it’s perks.


This was definitely one of them.

Thanks to the kind folks at Sony Pictures, I just got to watch an advance screening of the long awaited season 3 premiere of The Boondocks. Woo Hoo, Go Mitzi!!

And I have to tell you, it was definitely worth the wait.

I’m not going to give the plot way but be clear Aaron McGruder is a genius. And I so heart his little subversive mind. And quite honestly, if you watch this episode and don’t laugh at crazy ass Riley, self loathing Uncle Ruckus or the ridiculous car wash getaway scene then we can be friends.

And who wants that?

Be sure to tune in, THIS Sunday at 11.30p on the Adult Swim.

to the beat of the drum…

By on April 30, 2010 in end of days, it's in the genes, tapped out

Okay, see my boy RS told me about this craziness when it was first reported on Bossip. But it just so happened to be the same day as the whole Sandra Bullock loves the kids/ Oklahoma hates women/ white folks are importing serial killers from Russia stories popped off. And quite honestly, so I had reached my limit on tomfoolery for a single 24 hour period.


But now that CNN done broke it down in a video… I can sorta put it into words.

Basically- last Saturday night, this dude in Florida chopped off his mother’s head, put it in a bag, walked around the corner tossed it in a lot. Then woke up his demented ass up the next day and went to play the drums at church? The early service? And the neighbors describe him as a quiet, nice guy who loved God and his mama?

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And then you wonder why the majority of my friends and I give overzealous, super-sanctified church folks a WIDE ass berth??? Man listen, all that Jesus talk and Bible beating then next thing you know, it’s off with your head. I. Can’t.

I sure hope dude who told me that his friends wouldn’t consider dating me b/c I don’t subscribe to the same faith got wind of this story. ‘Cause it seems to me, that they would want to be a whole lot less worried about my soul and a little more concerned with the state of mind of some of their fellow congregation members. I’m just saying.

*drops the mic and walks away*

won’t speak ill of the dead but the family…

By on April 29, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, tagging out

Hmm. People have a lot of ideas on the way they want to be buried- in their favorite outfit, with their signature glove, face down so the world can kiss their a**…. the list goes on. But one thing that’s pretty consistent, is that all of these personal decisions involve a casket. You know as in a body INSIDE the casket. Um, guess 22 year-old David Morales Colon’s family didn’t get that memo.


Apparently, they decided to bypass the casket and post their son’s body up on his favorite motorcycle. So that he’ll be happily riding for eternity.

BLANK STARE

It’s too early in the morning for this. No, I take that back. There’s NEVER a good time for this. The End.

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