Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

the music gods have smite us…

By on May 12, 2010 in end of days, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead

And in the latest lowbrow breaking news: Gucci Mane has been released from jail!!

And I’m so sure you’ll be happy to know that according to the prepared statement that he mumbled his way through, “the rap game is in need of substance and he’s here’s for the streets right on time.” Oh and my favoritest line of the painful, self-indulgent, three minute monologue- “Oh and now that I’m free. Ironically, I feel like the most wanted man in Georgia.”

*confused silence*

Um, who is this dude again? And more importantly, why in the unholy-illiterate- hell would his publicist EVER encourage him to read ANYTHING out loud in a public setting? SMH. Seriously? Two words- You’re. Fired.

Listen, will somebody please call Big Boi and tell him to get his ass off Martha Stewart’s morning show, go find Andre 3000 and get both their asses back in the studio TOGETHER? Not now but, RIGHT NOW. Thanks.

makes me wonder what darryl strawberry is doin…

By on May 11, 2010 in Uncategorized

Clearly, fun times with the BFFs over the weekend distracted me from all the craziness going on in the celeb world. So forgive me if this topic is old news to you. I’m currently processing. *kanye shrug*


Lawrence Taylor got arrested?? For paying for sex with a child? SMH.

All them years playing in the league, your induction to the Hall of Fame, the inspiring recovery from drug addiction and even that recent appearance on DWTS, and THIS RIGHT HERE is how you going out? Arrested for prostitution charges involving a MINOR? I. Can’t.

Granted, according to the article I read this morning, the 16 year-old prostitute admits lying about her age. But still, I’m still giving your old ass a serious side-eye for having sex with any woman who 1) looks like a damn teenager and 2) clearly just had her ass beat by a pimp.

Honestly, I don’t know if this need to pay for intercourse with a woman less than half your age is an ego thing (’cause you don’t want to admit that you can no longer bag young cuties) or pride (’cause a hooker can’t complain when your D-game is wack).

DEAD FISH EYES

Either way, I’mma need you to want more for your legacy than the random chick holding impromptu press conferences outside her uncle’s apartment in the Bronx talking about, “The condom got stuck in me,”and “I told him, ‘I’d better not get pregnant.”

*silence*

happy early mother’s day while we at it…

By on May 6, 2010 in it takes a village, it's in the genes, using our powers for good

On the road again… Today, I’m headed to the D to celebrate the BFF’s graduation from law school. Woo Hoo! Sooo ridiculously proud and inspired. In honor of SPF making the magic happen while raising 2 wonderful little girls and taking care of a husband & home better than most folks I know- I leave you with a video that STAYS giving me life.


Enjoy.

when you see me w the ugly dude…

By on May 6, 2010 in cuteness kills, desperate cry for help, pocket full of dirty tissue, work it white girl

About a week or so ago, the patron saint of skanky chicks Courtney Love announced on Letterman that back in the day she frequently boned Gwen Stephanie’s fine ass husband Gavin Rossendale. Not really newsworthy except for the implication that Gavin was definitely dating Gwen when these alleged liaisons popped off.


*gags violently*

But honestly, aside from this being a mental picture that most of us would’ve easily lived our entire lives without, its not THAT big of a deal… Dirty chicks get around.

DEAD FISH EYES

But what I do find interesting are C-Love’s more recent comments about the glorious life of her va-jay-jay. Apparently the in a interview for FUSE, the self-proclaimed sex goddess credits her prowess in between the sheet to her jacked up grill. READ: she’s good a good lay because she’s got a face her mamma doesn’t even love.

*crickets*

You know, I’ve often heard my male friends discussing the pros and cons of keeping an ugly chick on stash for this very reason. Back in the day, they called it the paper Bag Theory- its a better lay as long as you don’t look at the face. *don’t judge us*

But I have to say, I didn’t really believe most of them. I always figured women went hard when 1) she liked the person she was having sex with and 2) the dude made it worth the effort. And if they’re so called ‘pretty’ girlfriend was a lazy lay it was because she was, well…. you do the math.

But maybe I was wrong. What do you think? Are “ugly” chicks (and dudes) swinging from chandeliers to distract from their appearance? Cause if so…

*adds homely right below STD-free on the list of qualities I’m looking for in a summer jump-off*

I’m just saying.

they got it just right…

By on May 5, 2010 in keep hope alive, Mitzi- all day every day

I love how the universe works. The other day when the weather started to catch a ‘tude and rain on my parade, I realized how long it’d been since I’d gone to the movies. And I made a mental noted to go see something-anything in the near future. And then, voila! My homie invited me to the premiere of the new Queen Latifah/ Common flick, Just Wright.

*insert image of my ta-dow grin*

Bear in mind, while I love me some Latifah (unless she’s singing) and enjoy Common musically, I wasn’t necessarily convinced that I wanted to see the two of them get it on on the big screen. And then Paula Patton trying to be funny? DEAD FISH EYES.

But I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised.

Latifah is on point for this role. In addition to being Cover Girl beautiful, her sense of comedic timing gets significantly better with every movie. Mind you, Paula Patton was PERFECT as the hooch gold-digger. Who knew?? I’m not going to give anything away but just wait until you see her in the morning scene after the party. Hee-larious. And not for nothing, as long as he had his pants on Common was alright with me (yeah, the whole knobby knees/ skinny calves was a wee bit distracting for the kid). It’s very obvious he’s been working with a new acting couch on this.

I’m not gonna lie, the plot was relatively predictable. But STILL, it was sososo cute. It’s beyond refreshing to see a well done romantic comedy with strong black actors. No lie, for that hot hour and fifteen minutes, I totally fell in love with the idea of romance and love all over again. *swoons and spins in pirouette* Happy Sigh.

Hopefully, this will be the start of another round of movies featuring Black actors worth coughing up the $12.50 to see.

*side-eyes Madea while crossing fingers, toes, legs, arms*

CATEGORIES