Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

lookin more like the Bronx…

By on July 29, 2010 in end of days, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, why we as a people can't get ahead



So I’m really starting to believe that ignorance is way too underrated. Mmm-hmm… There are just some things that I’m just never going to understand and clearly, better off never even knowing about.


Exhibit A: the seeming “normal” French couple that just so happened to have eight and counting newborns buried in their backyard garden?

BLANK STARE

EIGHT babies? Dude, how were they able to snatch EIGHT (probably more) babies and nobody noticed? Now I don’t have kids, so I could be wrong… Howsomever, if my newborn offspring suddenly went missing, I’d probably want to tell somebody. You know, like file a report with the police, do a TV appearance, maybe put up a flyer…. or something. Right? SMH.

I’m just so confused.

Oh and for the record, the attached six minute Bodega Queen- Busted remix that I receive courtesy of one GPayton, is NOT helping my state of mind. At all.

*proceeds to vogue on the corner*

tellin’ all my business…

By on July 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

I can’t believe I’m saying this outloud but maybe, just maybe, Facebook isn’t all bad.

Randomly came across this video on on my homepage this morn- thanks Ms. Morgan! I totally forgot how much I loved this song. Momentarily took my breath away.

And then the dialogue? Priceless.

Enjoy.

SIDEBAR: does anyone know the name of this actress? I’d love to know what she’s up to nowadays…

stealin’ sneakers from behind the speakers…

By on July 26, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, i die, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out, too old for the road, why we as a people can't get ahead

So I started out the day thinking, “Wow. I really need to say an extra prayer for President Obama. ‘Cause it seems like every other day it’s something else. If it’s not the recession, health care, BP’s oil spill or an improper firing of an official then it’s the leaking of classified military documents that make the entire administration look CRAZY for A) allowing top secret info to get out and B) continuing to send our soldiers into a war that we obviously cannot win. It’s too much.


BUT THEN, I saw the senseless tragedy that are the pics of Foxy Brown from her performance at B.B. Kings on TheYBF.com…

Umm.

First of all, who are her family and friends? Because aside the fact that some fool co-signed on the idea of a wearing brown leather mini in the middle of July- as a woman, I can take one look at this ridiculous contraption and know that she needed about two or three strong people to help squeeze her fat ass into it. So before I even go a sentence further, be very, very clear, whomever those people are- they HATE her. HATE.

Now beyond the obvious treachery, what the hell happened to her body? I’m not saying people aren’t allowed to gain weight. Especially since Foxy has clearly been on a permanent hiatus since Jay-Z stopped hitting her off with lyrics and whatever else your dirty little minds can imagine. DEAD FISH EYES. But forreal? What in the lopsided hell happened to Inga? About the skinny chicken legs, multiple Michelin tires around the waist, fat boobs hanging out around her belly button and still no eyebrows in 2010? Uh, uh Ms. Marchand, no bueno.

And the absolutely worst part to me? WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HER TEETH?? Why in the world is it all dark, black and empty where her back molars should be?? AAAHHHHH! And ya’ll already know, how I feel about the dentist… *gags* But I’ll tell you what, this rotten tooth smile nonsense right here makes me want to bump appointment up to like, tomorrow.

I mean… I’m just so sad. It’s so awful how far she’s fallen. SMH. Perhaps we should all just be thankful that her cotton panties match her nail polish.

No? Not going for that? *kanye shrug* Fuckkit. At least I tried…

*cues Brand Nubian’s ‘Slow Down’ and turns it ALL the way up*

i’ve got you covered giveaway…

By on July 22, 2010 in we love the free

Although it feels like a thousand degrees outside, according to retailers it’s time to start thinking about the fall. So to help you get your mind right, the generous folks at The Gap have been so kind as to send me one cropped washed denim jacket from their fabulous Gap 1969 Premium jeans line in a SIZE MEDIUM* to give away to a Moments reader.


Yup, just like Janet says, “It’s All for You!”

Now here’s what you’ve got to do:

*MANDATORY*

• Leave me one comment telling me which was your favorite Moments post of all time and why.

• If you’re not already, become a Mitzi Moments subscriber (you MUST verify your email subscription to qualify).

FOR EXTRA ENTRIES (please come back & post a separate comment for each one you do)

• TWEET I just entered the @MitziMoments ‘I’ve Got You Covered’ giveaway for a free Gap 1969 Premium Jean Jacket. http://tinyurl.com/22rpauz

• BECOME a Mitzi Moments Member through the Google follower link on site.

• FOLLOW @mitzimoments on Twitter & send me a message letting me know you’ve done so.

• BLOG about this giveaway.

• JOIN the official Mitzi Miller Author/ Journalist/ Opinionated Personality Facebook Fan Page HERE (leave a comment on the FB page letting me know you’ve done so).
THIS CONTEST ENDS AT 11:59 P.M. on THURSDAY, JULY 29, 2010. THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON THURSDAY, AUGUST 5, 2010. It is open to residents in the continental U.S. and Canada. *The jean jacket is only available in a size medium. In my opinion, it fits a little snugly.

gotta look good for the cameras…

By on July 21, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

In case I never have the opportunity to tell you again, cuteness kills.


Exhibit A: my screwed up right knee.

See what had happened was … Instead of scaling back on the daily run when my knee started to ache and swell weeks ago, I stupidly decided to keep going. Why you ask? Um, cause my hardheaded self decided that just once I wanted to hit my exact weight loss goal. Now my dumbass is limping around the crib until I get the results from this MRI test I’ve scheduled for next week. (And no, I still ain’t hit anywhere near the target weight.)

So because of said screwed up knee I am now only able to use the recumbent bike. (You know the one where all the old ladies sit down, ride and gossip?) DEAD FISH EYES. Mmm-hmm… Oh wait, you hear that? MWAH. That’s the sound of me kissing my weight loss goal good-bye. Sigh. I know, I know.

But at least while I’m stuck on the bikes with all the little fat ladies, I have an excuse to indulge in one of my fave guilty pleasures- Maury. PAUSE. Don’t judge me. Ya’ll know I live for the drama and craziness that is trash talk TV (Besides, nothing says pedal faster than the fat asses that appear on that show).

And don’t act like you’re not just AMAZED at the ignorance these people are so willing to display for the cost of a paternity test. My fave from this morning? “That baby has blue eyes. I’m Puerto Rican. We don’t have blue eyes.” Um sir, the child’s mother is an Irish red head.

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Yo, where do these people come from? How do they still exist in 2010?

Honestly, not sure I’ll ever have an answer for any of those questions. But I can tell you one thing- I damn sure know where they’ll be shopping for clothes the next time they get knocked up by Rakim (or is it really his best friend Raheem’s baby?).

Mmm-hmm, thanks to Forever 21’s new maternity line, Love21 all the underage and barely legal moms-to-be can now cop stylish maternity clothes at bargain basement prices.

Isn’t this great? Aren’t you relieved that a company that fervently donates to the conservative right and takes the time to print the phrase John 3:16 on the bottom of their shopping bags is now making sure that teenage moms have access fly gear?

Nice.

I know I’ll sleep better at night.

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