Mitzi Moments

Dang, I feel kinda bad for Tasia. I mean, just a little.From the winner of American Idol to hiding in a closet while trying to OD on an aspirin& sleeping pills cocktail? YIKES. That’s a looong, hard, humiliating fall.


And over what? a dude that when shit hits the fan, is no where to be found?

(Like seriously, I can get totally accept that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with a man that worked in a T-Mobile store and CLEARLY, planned to live off of whatever monies she had left after supporting every last member of her family. But what I cannot accept or remotely understand is why was it the diarrhea- mouth manager discovering her in the back of the closet? Where the hell was Mr. Cook?)

Aye mami, lo siento.

But what’s done is done, just ask Britney Spears. The important thing is to learn from the lessons that God gives us. So while you’re laying up in the padded room trying to figure out how Angelina & Alicia ended up with rings while your ass on Nancy Grace’s hit list, remember this: SILENCE & DISCRETION ARE GOLDEN.

READ: Enough with these ridiculous damn statements! You sound a mess and nobody believes a single word. The. End.

Wishing you a speedy recovery…

Okay, this PRICELESS:


So for the past four years, there’s been this ongoing battle in Ohio between a local strip club and the Evangelical Church that moved into a nearby property.

According to the various news reports, since the New Beginnings Ministries set up shop they’ve been trying to run the strip club out of the neighborhood. Talking about, “this is a battle between good and evil…”

BLANK STARE

Good and evil? Huh? It’s a regular strip club featuring adult women, not some illegal underground child sex slave trading depot! Again, the strip club was there BEFORE the congregation moved in.
Anyhoo, in typical extremist fashion, they’ve resorted to lowbrow intimidation tactics. You know standing out front with blow horns, screaming at the patrons and women that work there, signs with bible verses on them and the protesters have even videotaped the license plates of the club’s customers to post on the internet.

So evidently, the strippers got finally sick of the Pastor,his followers and all their Bible busting sheenanigans cutting into the take home. And they decided to return the favor and freaking protest the Church!!

Mmm-hmm, this past Sunday a bunch of the working ladies got dolled up (or as dolled up as a low-budget Ohio stripper can be) in next to nothing and headed down to morning service with a few signs of their own.

HILARIOUS

PUH-lease go to DListed for the video. It’s fantastical. The righteous ass Pastor Bill, the skanky stripper and the poor woman holding her baby while she tries to run into Sunday service.

So has anyone NOT heard about the JetBlue flight attendant from Queens that not only cussed out a passenger and quit his job over the plane’s intercom but then had the balls to jump out the emergency evacuation chute as the grand finale??


*nosedives into the shallow end of the pool*

For those who’ve been under a rock for the last 24 hours: According to CNN, the incident took place just after the flight landed at JFK and was still taxiing. Apparently, an unnamed passenger ignored the time honored ‘remain in your seats until we have arrived at the gate’ rule and stood to remove a bag from the overhead bin. And well, it seems that poor Steven Slater (the attendant in question) had finally reached his limitation with the foolishness. So he picked up the intercom and started hurling expletives at ALL the passengers. Then when the plane finally reaches the gate, dude was quoted as saying, “I’ve been doing this for ten years and I’m out of here!” He proceeds to grab some beer from the beverage cart, deploy the emergency slide and hop his happy ass off that mo-fo like, BYE, BYE BEE-YATACHES!

PAUSE.

You know I LOVE him, right?

Cause NO judgement but doesn’t he just LOOK like the kid we all grew up with that got picked on mercilessly his ENTIRE life? You know, the classmate for whom there was never a closet big enough to hold him and his fa-la-laing ways?? And then to make matters worse, he isn’t even the cutest. So if the girls were anything like I remember, they prob weren’t even willing to let him be their gay BFF. Sigh. SMH. So tragic.

But then, just when you’ve counted him out.. He tells the world TO KISS HIS ASS over the intercom!!!

I. DIE.

Like seriously, even if Steven serves all seven years in jail for criminal mischief, reckless endangerment and criminal trespass-which we know he won’t- that man just lived out the greatest fantasy of all flight attendants around the WORLD. He is a freaking LEGEND.

*raises an overflowing glass of champagne*

“When things go bad, people want to look good. When things are good, people want to look better.”


Err-um well alrighty then, I guess that’s all there is to that.

Now if someone, ANYONE could please explain what in the unholy- dredlocked-hairbug- hell is hanging from Big Bad D’s chin, life would be complete.

So err-umm…. yeah.

Not for nothing, It was a lot easier to listen/ enjoy this song before I watched the video. Although I must say, it definitely reinforces why I avoid those box-cutter, manic love type relationships like a cold sore on Christmas day. I don’t care how good the make-up sex is… I don’t EVER want anyone to love me like this.

Oh and am I the only one who felt super uncomfortable watching
Rih-Rih make those faces as she sung the chorus? Like, you can’t be a victim and simultaneously be down for the get down. Doesn’t work like that. It’s just my opinion (well shit, its my blog), but I’m thinking she should’ve done much more crying than mean mugging. *kanye shrug* It seems waaaay too soon for her to be leering and ice grilling at the camera in regards to anything remotely related to domestic violence ma.

Too. Soon.