Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

that ass sure has grown since then…

By on August 18, 2010 in keep hope alive, Mitzi- all day every day, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

Quick question: What in the lost-90s-singers & rappers-vortex happened to Case and his plethora of head wear? Like forget Ne-Yo’s receeding hairline, that man right there was the original hide-ya-head R&B singer. That bad boy could seriously go from baseball cap to ski skully to straight up pantyhose all in one video, like what? Say something.

But all fun and foreheads aside, I thought he was trying to stage a comeback.What had happened? Trey Songz got him shook or something?

Cause forreal, ‘Broken Glass’ and ‘Not Your Friend’ were the straight joints back in the day! And God only knows how many folks used that damn ‘Happily Ever After’ as their wedding song. Yeah man, for a hot minute Case was the ‘ish.

Speaking of Happily Ever After, I didn’t realize Beyonce was the lead female in the video until just now. Mmm-hmmm, front and center with that big ‘ole crazy 90s freeze curls piled up on her head. Looking like a fake Cleopatra in the empty museum.

Too funny.

lookin like perdue farm runaways…

By on August 18, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

So err-um, about this new Rolling Stones cover featuring the cast of True Blood…


*squints eyes and cocks head to the side*

I don’t know, can’t say I’m feeling it.

Granted, I do not watch the series. Like, at all. And trust, not because I haven’t tried. But as much as I love me some Anna Paquin, her horrendous New Orleans accent on the series makes my nerves as bad as nails on a chalkboard. Seriously.

And now this photo- which truth be told, just looks like some boiled skinless chicken seasoned with blood?

Yeah, I’ll pass. Thanks.

u get no points for originality…

By on August 17, 2010 in end of days, it takes a village, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out

So eer-um yeah, about the unemployed, single mother of three in South Carolina who just confessed to suffocating her two sons to death with her bare hands because she was stressed out, dead ass broke and felt overwhelmed? PAUSE. Oh and my fave part? That the 500-lb beauty queen tried to cover-up the murders by recycling a new version that crazy white woman, Susan Smith’s story about losing control of the car and it (along w the babies) would up at the bottom a nearby lake…. ‘Cept I guess she decided to skip the part about the carjackers, huh?

SIGH.

Um Precious…. kids are not kittens. You don’t bag ‘em up and toss them in the lake when the litter gets to be too much. You just don’t. Dummy.

I swear, I have Z-E-R-O sympathy for women that CHOOSE to have a whole gang of kids and when ‘ish hits the fan- they suddenly can’t cope. At All. Newsflash: being a parent is so much more than sperm meeting egg in your uterus. I don’t care what the Bible tells you, if your life is a shit show to begin with, don’t bring another helpless dependent into nonsense.

*looks directly at the pro-life zealots protesting outside of abortion clinics around the country*

Again, it’s craziness like this that should serve as a wake-up call to Republicans and conservatives who want to restrict access to birth control. Cause if didn’t nobody else figure it out; trust me, the good Lord himself knew that this woman didn’t have any business having THREE children. Raising them by her damn self. In poor ass South Carolina.

Geesh.

all kinds of sick & twisted…

By on August 16, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, it's not a game out there


Err-umm yeah… so what’s really hood, Detroit?

Lemme find out that robbing and raping defenseless 90 year-old women is what’s up in The Motor City? Like, forreal? That’s how ya’ll celebrate GM posting a profitable quarter? By attacking the elderly?


BLANK STARE.

It goes without saying, there’s a special place in hell for individuals that move through the world this. You know, right along side the nut jobs that torture animals and molest children. Mmm-hmm, I’m pretty there’s room right THERE.


Oh and not for nothing, I actually disagree with her grandson. I HOPE the streets find these two goons before the police figure it out. Cause honestly, jail is too easy… Too easy.

bet she don’t want the rum punch…

By on August 13, 2010 in it ain't easy, keep hope alive, Mitzi- all day every day

So I just read that the REAL reason Jermaine Dupri and Janet finally fell out is because he cheated on her with a stripper. And wait on it… knocked homegirl up. PAUSE. Umm, people still impregnate strippers in 2010? WOWOWOW.

If this is true, not only is that midget unattractive but he’s extra stoopid. The End.
But speaking of extra stoopid, remember his trusty sidekick Da Brat?? You know the crazy chick with all the braids that served time for slapping a cocktail waitress across the back of her head with a rum bottle? Yeah, that one. I hear she’s outta prison. Wonder what that’s looking like….
*gags*
Although, I gotta say- For a stone cold lesbian she sure had some of the dopest lookin’ dudes in this video right here…. Mmm-hmm.

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