Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

two times is the blessed charm…

By on October 4, 2010 in going to hell in a handbasket, keep hope alive, made for the maury show, tapped out, why we as a people can't get ahead

Sometimes there’s just so much craziness going on in the world that I have no choice but to block the most sensational sounding stories out.


Hence, why it took 5 days for me to actually bother to read the details on Jesse Shipley, the kid from Staten Island that died in a car crash & for whatever reason, after already determining cause of death; the coroner decided to keep his brain in the office while returning the body to the family for burial.

BLANK STARE w 3 LOOONG BLINKS

Mind you, no one would’ve ever been the wiser except kids from the dead boy’s school just so happened to have a field trip to said coroner’s office. And the genius examiner had Jesse’s brain in a clear jar with his damn name labeled on it out for display.

Yeah, you read that correctly. As in for show n’ tell.

Oh but forget about the traumatized kids who saw their friend’s brain in a jar and the family who realized that they had buried their child without a brain. The best part? Now the family’s priest who refused to consider it a “proper burial” without the brain intact. So the parents had to dig up the body, put the brain inside the carcass and RE-bury their child.

Now, when I tell ya’ll we’re living through the end of days…

*starts tossing holy water like I’m popping champagne*

and kiss my ass puh-lease…

By on October 1, 2010 in going to hell in a handbasket, i die, made for the maury show, never too grown

My goodness, rainy Fridays are a drag. I thank God everyday for the ignorance that is YouTube. Without it, I just don’t know how I’d ever make it thru. Okay?


Now I first heard about the According to “ME” Cadillac Kimberly vlog series immediately after the Eddie Long scandal broke. But it wasn’t until I saw THIS video (thank you Michael) that I truly became a fan. Yes, the topic may be a bit old (Fantasia & T.I’s re-arrest) but homegirl’s hilarity is still fresh to death.

Enjoy.

laughing all the way to lockdown…

By on September 30, 2010 in end of days, it's not a game out there, keep hope alive, tapped out, the internet is the devil

Wow. I just read the story about 18 year-old Tyler Clementi who apparently committed suicide after his punk ass roommate, Dharun Ravi and Ravi’s homegirl, Molly Wei used a hidden webcam to stream the Rutger University freshman’s make-out with another dude live on the Internet. And added bonus: announced the intention to do so on his Twitter feed.


DEAD FISH EYES

Seriously? This story completely breaks my heart. How nasty and mean of an individual can you be to videotape your own roommate and then put it up on the freaking internet? As a female, knowing how often it’s done to women, why would you ever co-sign on sexually exploiting anyone like that? Why is the idea of two men making out even funny? It’s just sex. Big damn deal. SMH.

So now, this promising kid, who was apparently a very talented violinist, just jumped off the George Washington Bridge and both your dumb asses are looking at least five years in jail.

Still funny now?

Uugh. No one deserves such an undignified outing of their sexual orientation.Ever. My heart goes out to his family.

look at eddie’s white play cousin…

By on September 29, 2010 in desperate cry for help, made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, too old for the road, why we as a people can't get ahead

Initially, I thought today’s post was going to be about Eddie Long’s 3rd accuser giving his first televised interview. Mm-hmm… *starts to hum & sway*

But then, I saw this story about Andrew Shirvell. And oh.my. GOD.

For six months, this grown ass white man in Ann Arbor, Michigan has basically waged a HATE campaign against the University of Michigan Student Body Assembly President Chris Armstrong (emphasis on student) because he’s gay.

BLANK STARE.

And when I say campaign, in addition to physically protesting outside of this poor COLLEGE STUDENT’s apartment, Shirvell created a website dedicated to “exposing” this child as, ‘a radical homosexual, racist, elitist, & liar.’ Talking about, “Armstrong has gone back on a campaign promise he made to minority students; engaging in “flagrant sexual promiscuity” with another male member of the student government; sexually seducing and influencing “a previously conservative [male] student” so much so that the student, according to Shirvell, “morphed into a proponent of the radical homosexual agenda”; hosting a gay orgy in his dorm room in October 2009; and trying to recruit incoming first-year students “to join the homosexual ‘lifestyle.”‘

But wait on it, in addition to his frequent vitriol filled updates he also posted pictures of Armstrong with obscenities written over them a la Perez Hilton and wait on it- swastika superimposed over a gay pride flag, with an arrow pointing toward Armstrong.

Um, where they do that at??

Mind you, this lunatic is an Assistant Attorney General for the State of Michigan. So it’s not like he just graduated from college last semester and that’s why he still feels vested in the on campus politics. No. He BEEN out of college! He’s grown as hell picking a fight with a damn CHILD.

And then, the video? With him looking and sounding like a whiny, hatin’ ass, repressed homosexual???

No sir. I. Will. Not.

*immediately cues Willow Smith*

look at what willow started…

By on September 27, 2010 in i'm not ready to be a grandmother, it takes a village, Mitzi- all day every day, why we as a people can't get ahead

And so it begins… the attack of the adolescent R&B singers. SMDH. Can please tell what in the auto-tune hell do these little boys know about girls loving them down? Perhaps it’s just me but, why are they even on cellphones enough to be singing about this nonsense? Shouldn’t their little skinny behinds be in a classroom LEARNING some ‘ish or something?

BLANK STARE

Here’s the thing, I’m not mad at little kids wanting to be performers and singing their little hearts out- if it’s Disney appropriate. Why? Cause that’s the appropriate demo. But when you’ve got CHILDREN running around wearing deep cut v-neck t-shirts, pretending to be grown before they even hit the double digits, it’s a totally different story.

Were are they going to go from here? Songs about seduction? Um, no thank you. We’ve already got a rising pre-teen pregnancy problem in our communities. I’mma need their management to pull out the Jonas Brothers blueprint and get on that. Leave the gyrating in florescent lit hallways to Trey Songz, et al. Forreal.

Oh, and if somebody don’t explain the length of Ray-Ray’s damn hair… *grabs scissors*

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