So I’m sitting here thinking about the Elliot Spitzer ho-train debacle and the new Gov. Patterson’s infidelity revelations (instead of transcribing these god forsaken interviews for my Essence assignment). And it occurs to me how the real eye-opener is not that the men cheated but how unequal their treatment of the two respective women were…
-On one hand, Spitzer was willing to pay an average of $5K an hour to be in the err-um, company of this woman. Gov. Patterson- not so much. She probably didn’t even get a dry card on V-Day.
-Spitzer was willing to pay for ole’ girl to have her own room in the exclusive Mayflower Hotel. Gov. Patterson was like, meet me for a couple of hours at the Days Inn.
-Elliot’s chick had tales of wild, kinky sex. There was nothing but crickets about the good Gov’s swagger game. (read: straight missionary).
AND NOW,
E-Boogie’s hooker is now in MAJOR demand for kinds of media outlets. She’ll probably land a record contract any minute now. Not to mention all the money she stands to make from book deals, TV appearances and folks using the $300 tax return to pay for a download of her song on myspace. Poor, poor Gov. Patterson’s jump-off is probably going to be ridiculed at her church on Easter Sunday.
YOU DO THE MATH.
Mitzi Moments
So as I drag my tired/sore/achy behind home through the icy winds from my early morning bootcamp torture (we were outside on the track running laps from 6.45am ), I started thinking about my girl Betina’s bday dinner last night. Alebit a brief get together for myself- unfortunately, I had to exit stage left before the meals were served to get some sleep for bootcamp- I had a really, really good time. Why?
HOLY COW, thanks to all the wonderful, amazing, supportive friends that I have, Hotlanta is now ranked#67 out of all the books on freaking AMAZON .COM. Can you believe it (Translation: I’m only 66 steps away from Oprah’s couch ya’ll) ??!!!!*
Okay folks, there are offically twelve days left until my book drops. And how many of my so-called friends have managed to pre-order the book? Exactly six. Now I know, over the past thirty-two years, I’ve accumulated more than six friends with $12 to spare.
And certainly there are more than six people that have hit me up for a favor, loan, help, advice, a ride… Dang, can a sister get a little something on the back end? Mind you, it’s always encouraging to hear how many people are proud of and inspired by my decision to strike out on my own. But err-um, a little financial support would go a veeeeerrrrrrrryyyyy long way.
Granted, I know everyone thinks they deserve a free copy. But please let me explain how the publishing business works: it’s all about the numbers. My ability to secure the next book deal is soley based on the number of units I sell on this book deal. And no, the number of books I give away does not count towards this number. (READ: If Mitzi only sells six copies, she’s going to be panhandling on a corner near you).
Not to mention, the measly TEN copies the publishing company gives me are for PROMOTION. Anything beyond those initial ten must be purchased by yours truly. So while I’m happy to give your lil’ cousin Tay-Tay a free book. (in hopes she’ll convince all six of her friends to purchase a copy). I’d rather not buy my own book just so that I can give it to you.
BESIDES….
How will I be able to hook you up, if I never become rich and famous?
BIG PICTURE PEOPLE.
Order by the end of business tomorrow, & it’ll only cost you $8.99!
http://www.amazon.com/Hotlanta-No-1-Denene-Millner/dp/0545003083/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1205861024&sr=8-1
I woke up this morning stricken with what can only be described as my own personal version of SARS: my throat was aflame, pajamas drenched in sweat, head thumping, face bloated; just looking and feeling crazy. You know those horrible 24-hour flu viruses that come from out of nowhere and reduce you to a sniveling child who is calling her mother at 3.30am talking ’bout, ‘I’m dying?’ Yeah, you better act like you know.