Mitzi Moments

Mitzi Moments

damn ma…

By on March 28, 2008 in why we as a people can't get ahead

Okay before I even begin to light into Remy Ma’s behind, I need to quickly toot my own horn. This morning I completed my last day of boot camp!!! WOO HOO. I am super psyched about the results- the thighs are looking halfway decent and the tummy is back under control. Note, I did not say anything was 100% right, but it’s back under control. So I won’t have to be sucking it up the next time you guys see me on the Food Network.

Okay, back to the tomfoolery of the day. Now I wasn’t even going to say anything about the disaster that is Remy Ma’s life right now. But then I was listening to Hot 97 and happened to hear the DJ complain that Remy didn’t even have a chance to say good-bye to her 8 year-old son or get her papers in order before they carted her off to jail. Didn’t even have a chance? Um, not for nothing, did she not know she was on trial for manslaughter for the past 6+ months??? Come on folks, stop supporting the self-sabotoge.
Remy reminds me of the teenage girls who get pregnant, pretend that its not happening to them and wanna flush babies down the toilet at their junior prom. TOTAL DENIAL.
When I heard about Remy’s conviction from Lil’ Lisa and then read about the ensuing fall out in the courtroom- so much for being hardcore, huh?-my first thought was… well she did admit getting into ‘ole girl’s car and shooting her point blank in the stomach, no? So why the surprise? As Melissa so kindly reminded me this morning, ‘she probably confused being famous in her neighborhood with something that mattered.’ Unfortunate.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel horribly for Remy. The one time I had the pleasure of interviewing her, she was nothing but nice. And I def jammed out to the 30-minute all Remy dedication they mixed and played in her honor this morning during the Morning Show. But the bottom line? I’m going to need people who have an opportunity to do better to appreciate that shit. It’s one thing if someone stole your last dime, the day before you were about to be evicted from your home and now you had to hit the stroll to work it out. But that’s hardly the case. Remy is facing 5-25 years behind bars over the amount of money that she probably spent popping bottles at the club last week. Tragic.
Not for nothing, I know Lil’ Kim is somewhere laughing her ass off right now.

who needs cable….

By on March 26, 2008 in it's not a game out there

So last night, we had an old school style/ kick in the door/ bring in the dogs style police raid in my apartment building. I’m sorry, let me clarify- in the apartment directly above mine.

Around 10.20p, just as I was hunkering down for a much needed night of sleep, there’s this humungous BOOM, all kinds of screaming and a man screaming- “THIS DA POLICE!!! EVERYBODY GET DOWN!! EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR!!”
So naturally, my nosey ass shot straight to the front window where in less than 20 secs, ten police cars pulled up-on the sidewalk- blocking traffic from both directions and countless policemen were running up in my building like a bad episode of COPS. Straight drama.
I watched out my window for the next 15 minutes as a pitiful parade of at least 10 kids were lead out and around the corner single file (just so you know, my building is adjacent to one of the largest predincts in upper Manhattan) to jail. It was so sad. All these little knuckleheads that I’ve come to depend on to open the front door when I can’t find my keys, carry my grocery bags when I’m overwhelmed and more importantly give the very necessary “you looking good” head nod whenever I step out; gone just like that.
This morning when I left my apartment, everything was eerily quiet. There wasn’t one bleary-eyed hooded wanna be thug pulling his pants up as he struggled in from a hard night’s work or a single offering of ‘god bless you mami’ to start my day. Sigh, this gentrification thing is working my nerves.

too much time on her hands…

By on March 25, 2008 in made for the maury show

Okay, let me start off by saying that while I’m not necessarily the biggest Demi Moore fan, I do respect the old broad’s gangsta for making a potentially criminal offense (screwing someone at least 20+ years her junior) look sexy.

How-some-ever, there is a limit to the stupidity. And Demi my dear, you have officially reached it.
In her ongoing twisted attempt to never visibly age (read: 40 plastic surgery operations later), now homegirl is doing cleansings with LEECHES. Apparently she was all up on Letterman (in support of her new movie Flawless- tad ironic, no?), explaining how her new thing is allowing leeches to suck on her belly buttton. And while it was definately “uncomfortable,” Demi ‘no pain no gain’ Moore insists that all it took was a little Lamaze breathing to help her make it through.
I’m just unclear, is she saying leech bites that hurt as much as childbirth (because that is the purpose of learning Lamaze breathing techniques, correct?) is a good thing?? Survey says, NOT.
I mean seriously, is growing old gracefully that bad?
Read all about how leeches don’t like pubic hair and behave like little drunks after they’ve finished gorging on you:

just like that…

By on March 24, 2008 in why we as a people can't get ahead

Um, once again I’m experiencing that strange sensation where I regret that I don’t watch TMZ news or read the tabloids enough. Who knew Corrine Bailey Rae was married? I thought homgeirl was like, 17 years old. Tell the truth, didn’t you? Lord Jesus. And now her 31 year-old husband Jason Rae has been found dead? From a drug over dose? Sigh, it’s barely 9am and I’m already tapped out.

still not working on the essence assignment…

By on March 22, 2008 in that sense of entitlement

Okay dead serious, Kate Beckinsale is my new absolute favorite famous white girl (sorry Brit-Brit)!! I just read the most honest and hilarious Q&A from a working white celebrity that I’ve come across in like, forever. And I specify working because as soon as they become non-working D-listers, we can’t seem to get them to shut da hell up (read: Tori Spelling, Jessica Simpson, et al.).

Homegirl said that she’d rather eat a vagina than sushi!!! Then continues to keep it real by admitting that since she doesn’t drive, she basically bums rides everywhere from her friends and family. How-some-ever, and I quote, “the more kept I get the less cute it is.” Did this WG just acknowledge that she’s kept woman? LOVES it.
Read the rest:

CATEGORIES