I think we can all agree, there’s a big difference between what people say they want and what they can really deal with- especially when it comes to relationships.

As a friend, there’s nothing more stressful than catching your BFF’s significant other cheating. Even if you can’t stand the best bone in said individual’s body; no one wants the bad dating karma associated with ending a romantic relationship. AT ALL. But I think it’s even worse if you only THINK you saw something inappropriate…

It’s like, if you say something and you’re wrong, not only have you started unneccessary mess but your credibility is shot to shot to shit. And we’re not even touching on the tension/ drama that’s guaranteed to pop off the next time you see the significant other because 1) YOU KNOW they’re getting back together and 2) no matter how much she swears she won’t divulge where she “heard” the info, pillow talk is like chinese water torture out’s all coming out.

But on the flipside, if you don’t and it turns out to be true…. Hell hath no fury like a friend who thinks their own BFF knew that they were the laughing stock of the city and didn’t “care” enough to say something. No sir, you don’t want to have THAT conversation either. Because in addition to losing that one friend, any mutual friends will now be giving you the “she’s a shady friend who’ll let her girl get played out” side-eye behind your back.

I know, I know, you just can’t win.

Well if it’s any consolation, like myself, 83% responded that even if a friend merely THINKS that she/ he saw your significant other acting up, they want to know. And yes, we understand that your intel may or may not be correct. But bottom line? I know that I’m not gonna say something unless deep in my heart, I really, really think something is wrong. So until proven wrong (as in straight soap opera- she was deceiving me to screw my man type mess) I’ll assume the same for my girls (and Geoff). I’d MUCH rather receive a heads-up from a trusted source than be blindsided by the tomfoolery in the streets. And if you just can’t bring yourself to do it, DO NOT tell me after the shit hits the fan! I’m warning you now… You will get cussed out and cut off.

And while clearly I don’t believe in sticking my head in the sand… Good for the 16% of you that know yourself well enough to just say no. Sometimes a little ignorance greases the wheels of life. If deep down inside you know that you’re not unwilling to confront the bs head-on, then no, don’t let people come drop it like it’s hot on your doorstep. And be upfront! Puh-lease don’t go hard like you want the 411 (you know who you are), only to end up miserable and mad at me b/c every time the main squeeze says he’s coming home late you wanna send out the bloodhounds. Instead, let us all hope, for your sake, that the sidepiece doesn’t get out of pocket and decide to come knocking.

Unfortunately, domestic violence is like SARS. It’s just one of those things that no one ever sees coming. Like honestly, would you really get involved with a person if you could envision them smacking fire out of you or worse, leaving you dead in a ditch on the side of the road? Yeah, I didn’t think so. But approximately 33 million people have found themsleves in that situation at least once in their lives. Since, it’s clearly out of most of our control-and I say most b/c when dude tells you that he has anger management issues and you just giggle it off, then you know what you’re signing up for-the $1,000,000 question is:

When it goes down, what are YOU gonna do?

I mean it’s not like back in the day, when your parents could just step in or even better, your brother/ cousin would beat that butt and he’d never even think about looking at you again. Nowadays, not only are you on your own but you’ve also got to worry about this nonsense affecting your personal (cause neighbors are always good for the gossip) and professional life (God forbid crazy gets out of hand and he shows up at the job). JESUS.

I definitely understand why the 37% voted to handle the matter privately. It took a long time and a lot of energy to build your reputation and career. Whereas it only takes one incident and a few words in the wrong person’s mouth to destroy everything. As long as you’re physically okay and absolutely certain the person isn’t going to come back to make your life a living hell, then it’s probably natural to want to move on with your life. And quietly I’m sure many of you aren’t calling the police is because you already called your dad/ brother/ thugged out cousin and his boys to man-handle that fool right quick.

However, I’m with the 62% of you who don’t give a damn what the so-called stakes are. If it pops off; I’m calling the po-po, pressing charges AND seeing that mo-fo in court. So what if everyone whispers “you should’ve known better: or that “it’s a such a shame” when I pass by. Like Elsa always says- that ain’t nothing but nine days talk. Fingers crossed his butt will be sitting in a cell or on probation for a much longer period of time.

You know, what I’ve learned over the years is that I’m not an exception. If dude put his hands on me, there’s a good chance he’s hit before and will do it again afterwards. As much as I want him out of my life, I don’t want him to get away with doing that to the next chick. Hopefully, a spot in the police blotter and a little jail time will make that fool think long and hard before getting physical with anyone’s daughter/ sister/ neice/ BFF.