Mitzi Moments

Category: that sense of entitlement

the real king of new york…

By on July 29, 2009 in end of days, i die, it takes a village, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out, that sense of entitlement

Wait a minute, why is Mayor Bloomberg so freakin’ GANGSTA??


According to this morning’s NYT, since Bloomberg Administration has not been able to curtail or reduce the problem of overcrowding in the city shelters over the past two terms they’ve now resorted to KICKING non-native homeless families up out of the city.  Yes sir… On some real live, ‘No. Actually, you can’t make it here. So please proceed to carry your ass the hell on back to wherever you came from.’  

Okay well maybe they’re not saying it like exactly that… But the good Mayor is funding a voucher program that “offers” to send entire homeless families anywhere outside of New York City a relative is willing to take them in. Mmm-hmmm…

And apparently there is no limit on how far these displaced families can go.  To date, one-way tickets have been purchased to 24 states and 5 continents including: Paris, Johannesburg, Orlando, San Juan and the list goes on.

But my favorite part?  They wanna act like they care about the well being of the families and that this not about getting the number of homeless down so that he can have a justifiable reason for seeking a third term.  talking ’bout it’s all voluntary and that “once a family  leaves New York, homeless service officials follow up with a phone call to make sure they arrive safely, then make a few more calls over the next two to three weeks.” Um, somebody please feel free to insert the hard side-eye cause I. Can’t. Take. It.

All I’m saying is… if it saves me tax dollars, I’m for damn sure not mad. But I see you Mike.  I see you.

actually, a king’s son is a prince….

By on July 22, 2009 in going to hell in a handbasket, never too grown, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out, that sense of entitlement

I must say, yesterday was a lot. First, waking up to the sound of pouring rain and then realizing that my cable/ internet wasn’t working definitely blew me.  But in the grand scheme of things, it could’ve always been worse. 


Shoot, I could’ve been famed African-American scholar and Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. who got arrested  for disorderly conduct after forcing open the jammed front door of the house he LIVES in.  Mmm-hmm…

All I can say is thank god today is another day. The sun is shining, the Yankees are tied for 1st place in the Division and apparently Kelis finally delivered her son with Nas. Yes, let the choir sing. ‘Cause I am beyond tired of hearing about those angry twits from the web and reading about the messy divorce proceeding… yeah, I said it.  

Not for nothing, if  Kesha Nichols can get over being dumped via text message by lame ass, e-thug Richard Jefferson less than a week before their wedding, then my god- its time to pull up your big girl panties and move on the hell on.

Real talk? You skimmed through his first baby mama’s book just like the rest of us… You knew who you married. You rocked your matching satin ‘NIGGER’ jacket with pride.  Spare us all the indignant outrage, ridiculous $20,000 a month child support demands and just carry your ass back to the studio. 

please revist parenting 101…

By on June 23, 2009 in cuteness kills, i'm not ready to be a grandmother, it's in the genes, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out, that sense of entitlement

Err-umm, I know most parents stop whooping their kids when they get old enough to comprehend but real talk? Some of these hard headed mo-fo’s need to be beat all the way up until they turn 21 years-old. And preferably with a large, thick, you-gonna-remember-this-one-right-here leather belt like the one my Dad used on my lil’ ass back in the day… Uh-huh, yeah, I said it.

‘Cause if more teenagers understood that they could still catch a bad one from their parents, we damn sure wouldn’t have bored children enlisting to become assassins in Mexican drug cartels, playing themselves out in ridiculous reality shows like NYC Prep or walking into tattoo parlors talking about, “hi. I want you to tat up my body to the point where the only place I’ll ever be able to work is a circus.”

Because in what can only be attributed to a lack of fear of the parental beat down, 18 year-old Kimberley Vlaeminck decided to have 56 freaking stars etched into the side of her FACE. And to no one’s surprise but her own, her father completely lost his shit when that fast ass got home.

So naturally, like all immature, adolescents under pressure Ms. Kimberley went straight into denial mode.

Don’t you know, this silly child had the nerve to insist that she’d “only asked for three stars, feel asleep in the chair and woke up with a galaxy on her face.” You ONLY asked for three stars on your FACE??? Feel free to insert the blank stare with 2 blinks.

But wait on it… Her parents actually believed that bullshit!

I mean to say, not only did they believe it but they proceeded to hire a lawyer and press charges against the tattoo artist/ parlour. As if any sober person in their right mind could sleep through 56 stars being inked on his/her face… I. can’t.

Needless to say, not even a week later homegirl got caught on a hidden camera admitting that she knew all along what the tattoo artist was going to do. So she’s had to issue an apology, retract her statement, lost the almost $18,000 her parents put into making the claim/ hiring a lawyer, et al.

So ummm, I’m just going to go out on a limb and say, this right here. This is what happens when “time outs” go horribly wrong. No offense

karma is a 4-legged female…

By on May 6, 2009 in honorary white woman, tapped out, team obama, that sense of entitlement, too old for the road, work it white girl

Damn Elizabeth Edwards! Why don’t you tell us how you really feel about your husband’s affair, mistress and the illegitimate daughter he now has??

Seriously, how many years has it been since the former Senator John Edwards dropped outta the presidential race because his mistress came forward with his love child? And his ole girl still ain’t ready to let it go?? Hmm, guess the answer to that question would be a resounding HELL NAW since she’s written an entire book about her husband’s messy extra-marital affair and how it basically obliterated his entire political career (under the guise of being an inspirational self-help guide, of course).

But wait on it… now she’s making rounds in TIME magazine and on Oprah’s couch to throw John even further under the bus; I mean, promote her new project. Hee-hee. Talking about, “I’ve seen a picture of the baby. I have no idea. It doesn’t look like my children, but I don’t have any idea.” Um, did she just call that woman’s child, IT???

Damn, that’s cold.

On the forreal, forreal, I feel horribly for Elizabeth Edwards. I can’t imagine what it must be like to discover that your husband is cheating on you with some no-count, golddigging, bottle-blonde while you’re trying to beat breast cancer. And then the whole messy situation is played out in the headlines? Yikes, no thank you.

But not for nothing… if she’s still so pissed, why stay? White woman in distress, don’t you know the whole world belongs to you? Pack yo shit, get your child and bounce. Otherwise ma, go sit down. Whatever you do, please stop hatin’ on the side-piece- it just make you look bitter. And Lord knows you already look like the cryptkeeper besides that man; no offense.

they’re crying in trailer parks nationwide…

By on March 13, 2009 in it's in the genes, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, that sense of entitlement

Lookey, lookey here- guess which unwed teenage mom just called off her farce of an engagement? Ding, ding, ding- you guessed it: worthless ass Bristol Palin aka Patron Saint of Poor White Teenage Trash.

As if anyone was surprised. From day one poor Levi Johnston has worn the blatant ‘woah is me, I’m just an innocent teenage redneck. How in the moose hunting- Budweiser drinking hell did I mess around and knock up my jump-off’ expression on his big, flat, playdough face. Walking from press opt to press opt like the only thing he wanted for Xmas was a paternity test… Damn shame. I’m just glad homeboy finally smartened up and bizz-ounced.

Of course, can’t be mad at Bristol for trying to spin the breakup. Releasing the crazy statement about “unnamed people trying to take advantage of her family’s fame” as the reason why things fell apart. Yeah, okay honey bunny. Why don’t you go sit your special behind down and look at Russia?

i’ll take your half if you don’t want it…

By on January 29, 2009 in pocket full of dirty tissue, that sense of entitlement, work it white girl

Good lord, the pink toes never cease to amaze do they?

First they were shopping in secret and now that, surprise, surprise, this whole “recession thing” hasn’t gone away, they’ve formed an anonymous support group for the girlfriends of finance guys!! No really, I’m not even kidding. I swear I couldn’t make this up if I tried…

According to the NYTimes, the group of NYC women refer to themselves as Wall Street Widows and the name of their support group is Dating A Banker Anonymous. And in case you were wondering, there’s an open invitation to any woman who fits the following criteria: “if your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life.” Seriously? Just so we’re clear, you’re complaining about the change in a lifestyle that you’ve become accustomed to BEFORE you even got married??? Oh my goodness, that is so gangster!

The members meet once or twice weekly for brunch or drinks at a bar or restaurant to commiserate on how the plunging stock market and depressed economy have turned their former type-A, cocky, super human, richass finance boyfriends into whimpering, needy, erratic BROKEASS nightmares. Talking about, they’re moody, up all hours of the night checking the Blackberry and wait on it- aren’t exactly performing in the bedrooms. YIKES.

Good luck Becky Sue…

i want the double-reinforced ones…

By on January 5, 2009 in pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, that sense of entitlement

Wow, I just read the most random and utterly depressing news- Waterford Wedgewood has filed for bankruptcy. Good god, that company has set the standard in fine chine and crystal wares for like forever. And just like that it’s a wrap. Dayum…

I swear, at the rate things are going everybody’s wedding registry will request paper plates, plastic forks and those big red solo cups. Yeah, I said it.

i’m sure kelis had no idea…

By on October 6, 2008 in that sense of entitlement

So apparently OJ isn’t the only one headed directly to the clink.

Earlier today, a Hong Kong jury dismissed an appeal by Nancy Kissel the American housewife (read: privileged white woman) has was convicted of murder and sent to prison for life after feeding her wealthy Merrill Lynch banker hubby a sedative spiked milkshake and then wait on it… clubbing him to death with a statuette. Then homegirl rolled his body up in a carpet and tried to hide him in a storage room. Too bad in real life, bodies decompose and the rancid smell of rotting flesh gave her away. EEWWWAAAA!
The ‘Milkshake Murderess’ as she has come to be known, has repeatedly tried to claim self-defense. But I’m thinking all that went through the window when the prosecution found out about the TV repairman lover waiting for her back in the United States.

Why is this so the next Lifetime movie of the week? I can see the title now…
Clubbed For Love.
Come on, you know I’m right…

cut the waterworks…

By on July 18, 2008 in that sense of entitlement

Good grief, Elisabeth Hasselhoff is EXHAUSTING with all her damn crying!! She’s such a Republican bully! Always picking a fight with someone 10 times as intelligent as she is and then when she can’t win with logic, she goes for the tears. But apparently this time she picked the wrong black woman to try that bullcrap with. Here’s what had happened:

Little Miss Elisabeth jumped up on her soapbox about how black people shouldn’t use the n-word beacause “it perpetuates stereotypes and hate.” So Whoppi immediately countered the silly rhetoric with, “We use it the way we want to use it.” THEN because Elisabeth is always going hard for the entitled white woman who don’t know when to back down, she says, “we all live in the same world.” At this point, it’s safe to say KNOW Whoopi was DONE. And she proceeded to get all up in that crack and shut whiny-ass Elisabeth down with, “We do live in different worlds. You don’t understand.” Can the church say AMEN?

Oh and for the record, even Babs had enough of little Miss Elisabeth temper tantrums. She jumped in on the discussion and hit Elisabeth with the old school “You’re not listening, you’re just talking” line your parents used to say when they were sick of the very sound of your voice. So funny…

still not working on the essence assignment…

By on March 22, 2008 in that sense of entitlement

Okay dead serious, Kate Beckinsale is my new absolute favorite famous white girl (sorry Brit-Brit)!! I just read the most honest and hilarious Q&A from a working white celebrity that I’ve come across in like, forever. And I specify working because as soon as they become non-working D-listers, we can’t seem to get them to shut da hell up (read: Tori Spelling, Jessica Simpson, et al.).

Homegirl said that she’d rather eat a vagina than sushi!!! Then continues to keep it real by admitting that since she doesn’t drive, she basically bums rides everywhere from her friends and family. How-some-ever, and I quote, “the more kept I get the less cute it is.” Did this WG just acknowledge that she’s kept woman? LOVES it.
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